They say that you never forget your first time. Many will try, but few will succeed. Workaholics actor Adam Devine had a particularly memorable sexual debut — all thanks to blink-182.
On the latest episode of comedians Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer's 2 Bears, 1 Cave podcast, the man almost born Adam Levine (so close!) told the story of his first time having sex. Apparently punk rock is foreplay?
"I lost my virginity immediately following a blink-182 concert when I was like 16 years old," Devine revealed. "To set the mood — we're back at the hotel — I played more blink-182, and cued up the song. Not realizing how fucking stupid and ironic it would be, I played 'All the Small Things.'"
Still evidently in disbelief, the actor repeated, "I played 'All the Small Things' when I'm losing my virginity for the first time. First time a girl's really felt my penis."
He went on, "So I'm doing it — I don't know, I'm humping — and so we're having sex and I realize that," Devine said of the humour of the song and the situation that was somehow initially lost on him. "And I go, 'More like all the medium things, right?' And she goes, 'What?' And I'm like, 'More like the medium-sized things.'"
"She didn't get it," the actor sighed. "And then I was done."
Because he simply had to, Kreischer asked how long Devine lasted. "Didn't make it through the one-and-a-half minute-long song," he admitted. "There was still a lot left of like, the whole second and third chorus."
Say it ain't so.
All of you schadenfreude lovers out there can check out the full podcast video below.
On the latest episode of comedians Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer's 2 Bears, 1 Cave podcast, the man almost born Adam Levine (so close!) told the story of his first time having sex. Apparently punk rock is foreplay?
"I lost my virginity immediately following a blink-182 concert when I was like 16 years old," Devine revealed. "To set the mood — we're back at the hotel — I played more blink-182, and cued up the song. Not realizing how fucking stupid and ironic it would be, I played 'All the Small Things.'"
Still evidently in disbelief, the actor repeated, "I played 'All the Small Things' when I'm losing my virginity for the first time. First time a girl's really felt my penis."
He went on, "So I'm doing it — I don't know, I'm humping — and so we're having sex and I realize that," Devine said of the humour of the song and the situation that was somehow initially lost on him. "And I go, 'More like all the medium things, right?' And she goes, 'What?' And I'm like, 'More like the medium-sized things.'"
"She didn't get it," the actor sighed. "And then I was done."
Because he simply had to, Kreischer asked how long Devine lasted. "Didn't make it through the one-and-a-half minute-long song," he admitted. "There was still a lot left of like, the whole second and third chorus."
Say it ain't so.
All of you schadenfreude lovers out there can check out the full podcast video below.