Seth Rogen released his autobiography Yearbook this spring, and it's hard to remember a funnier celebrity memoir. It contains the story of how he met his buddies Evan Goldberg and Sammy Fogell (of Superbad fame), detailed accounts of ill-fated productions like The Green Hornet and The Interview, and lots and lots of drug use.
But perhaps the thing that stands out most about Yearbook is Rogen's surprisingly candid celebrity gossip. Rogen himself is very famous — something he discusses with bemusement but without any false modesty — and he's consequently had hilarious run-ins with many fellow famous people. Needless to say, not everyone comes out of Yearbook looking all that good.
Here are the eight funniest celebrity stories contained within Yearbook's pages. (He didn't even write about that time Paul Rudd secretly gave him a spa massage!)
Getting upstaged by Jerry Seinfeld as a teenager
Rogen started doing standup at a young age, and by the time he was 16, he got an opportunity to audition for the Canadian comedy festival Just for Laughs. His chances went up in flames, however, when Jerry Seinfeld did a surprise drop-in and performed directly before him.
He annihilated to a degree I didn't realize was possible, and I stood in the back hoping a light would fall and cave his head in. I was enraged. I remember thinking, "This motherfucker. How dare he? This is a fucking showcase for amateurs to secure a spot at a Canadian comedy festival, and he's just going to show up and slap his ten-foot dick on the table and fuck everyone else into oblivion?"
Bombing his 8 Mile audition with Jason Segel
Can you image Rogen opposite Eminem in 8 Mile? It could have happened, had he not totally bombed his audition for the role of Cheddar Bob. His Freaks and Geeks buddy Jason Segel went out for the same role, and so they teamed up and decide to read together. It didn't go well.
JASON: Yo, yo motherfucka! It's Chedda! What up, bitch!
I started laughing hysterically. And so did Jason. We literally couldn't make it through the auditions. As soon as one of us started the scene, the other would lose it.
George Lucas believed the world was ending in 2012
George Lucas is one of the greatest minds in science fiction. He is not, however, an actual scientist, which possibly explains why he apparently bought all-in on theories that the world would end in 2012, (supposedly) in accordance with the Mayan calendar. Early that year, Rogen had a meeting with Steven Spielberg and Lucas, but the conversation got derailed by the Star Wars creator's predictions of the apocalypse.
ME: What should we know about the San Andreas Fault?
GEORGE: That it's gonna fracture and everything west of it is gonna sink into the ocean, reshaping the world as we know it.
Me and Evan [Goldberg] scanned his face, looking for any shred of irony, like Mandalorians scanning the cargo hold of the Millennium Falcon for stowaways (sorry). There was none.
Nicolas Cage accused Seth Rogen of stealing his character for James Franco's Spring Breakers
In the lead-up to The Green Hornet, Rogen took a meeting with Nicolas Cage, who pitched a bizarre-sounding Caribbean character with a thick patois. Naturally, Rogen rejected the idea — but after James Franco starred in Spring Breakers some time later, Cage took another meeting with Rogen, seemingly with the intention of interrogating him about the supposedly stolen character.
CAGE: Well…did you ever tell him about that meeting we had? About the white Jamaican guy? Is that where he got the idea for the guy in Spring Breakers? Did he steal it from me?
ME: Uh…no. I don't think I ever mentioned it to him. (I had.) And…I don't think he's playing a person of…Caribbean origin in that film? (He is definitely not at all.)
Snoop Dogg said "bring in the hoes"
Rogen worked with Snoop Dogg on a song for the 2013 film This Is the End, but the rapper apparently thought he was only there to help write a hook. When Rogen asked Snoop for a verse, the MC got his inspiration from a surprising source: he called in a group of skimpily dressed women to dance around him. These women were seemingly on hand just in case Snoop needed to write a verse.
Then he looked over to one of his guys, narrowed his gaze…and said: "Bring in the hoes."
The guy left, and within thirty seconds he returned with five or six women who were very much dressed like strippers at the start of a routine. The producer blasted the beat, and women danced and drank while Snoop wrote a rap verse on his Blackberry.
Bob Dylan is a Seth Rogen fan
At the 2011 Grammys, Rogen schmoozed with Dr. Dre and Eminem, and he had an ill-fated encounter with Beyoncé's security guard. It turned out, however, that the best celebrity encounter involved someone he never actually met: Bob Dylan, who wasn't in his green room at the time when Rogen swung by. Years later, Rogen met someone who revealed that Dylan was a fan.
A guy came up to me on the street and was like, "Oh, man, a while back I was at the Grammys with my buddy who looks just like you! You were there, too! You introduced Eminem! Anyway, at the end of the night, a security guard came up to my buddy and handed him a harmonica and said, "Bob's a big fan of yours."
Kanye West rapped an entire album in his van
Rogen has had numerous run-ins with Kanye West over the years, several of which are detailed in Yearbook. The most memorable of them is undoubtedly when West invited Rogen and his wife into his van and then rapped an entire album over a series of unfinished beats. He also showed him the storyboards for a movie about voluptuous, anthropomorphic cats. Incredibly, not one of the songs West rapped in the rap was on his next album (and we're still waiting for that cat movie).
KANYE: Alright, and I start rapping here, and I'm like: Bip bita BOP and a boom bita BAP, and everyone goes, THANK YOU (you, you, you, you). And then I come back in again rapping like: Boom whapa BAM and PA whapa BAM, an then I say, THANK YOU (you, you, you, you). And then Frank Ocean will come in here and be like: Baaaa ba boooooooooo.
Tom Cruise pitched him on Scientology
We've already written about this one, so I won't describe it again — but you should read the wild story here.
But perhaps the thing that stands out most about Yearbook is Rogen's surprisingly candid celebrity gossip. Rogen himself is very famous — something he discusses with bemusement but without any false modesty — and he's consequently had hilarious run-ins with many fellow famous people. Needless to say, not everyone comes out of Yearbook looking all that good.
Here are the eight funniest celebrity stories contained within Yearbook's pages. (He didn't even write about that time Paul Rudd secretly gave him a spa massage!)
Getting upstaged by Jerry Seinfeld as a teenager
Rogen started doing standup at a young age, and by the time he was 16, he got an opportunity to audition for the Canadian comedy festival Just for Laughs. His chances went up in flames, however, when Jerry Seinfeld did a surprise drop-in and performed directly before him.
He annihilated to a degree I didn't realize was possible, and I stood in the back hoping a light would fall and cave his head in. I was enraged. I remember thinking, "This motherfucker. How dare he? This is a fucking showcase for amateurs to secure a spot at a Canadian comedy festival, and he's just going to show up and slap his ten-foot dick on the table and fuck everyone else into oblivion?"
Bombing his 8 Mile audition with Jason Segel
Can you image Rogen opposite Eminem in 8 Mile? It could have happened, had he not totally bombed his audition for the role of Cheddar Bob. His Freaks and Geeks buddy Jason Segel went out for the same role, and so they teamed up and decide to read together. It didn't go well.
JASON: Yo, yo motherfucka! It's Chedda! What up, bitch!
I started laughing hysterically. And so did Jason. We literally couldn't make it through the auditions. As soon as one of us started the scene, the other would lose it.
George Lucas believed the world was ending in 2012
George Lucas is one of the greatest minds in science fiction. He is not, however, an actual scientist, which possibly explains why he apparently bought all-in on theories that the world would end in 2012, (supposedly) in accordance with the Mayan calendar. Early that year, Rogen had a meeting with Steven Spielberg and Lucas, but the conversation got derailed by the Star Wars creator's predictions of the apocalypse.
ME: What should we know about the San Andreas Fault?
GEORGE: That it's gonna fracture and everything west of it is gonna sink into the ocean, reshaping the world as we know it.
Me and Evan [Goldberg] scanned his face, looking for any shred of irony, like Mandalorians scanning the cargo hold of the Millennium Falcon for stowaways (sorry). There was none.
Nicolas Cage accused Seth Rogen of stealing his character for James Franco's Spring Breakers
In the lead-up to The Green Hornet, Rogen took a meeting with Nicolas Cage, who pitched a bizarre-sounding Caribbean character with a thick patois. Naturally, Rogen rejected the idea — but after James Franco starred in Spring Breakers some time later, Cage took another meeting with Rogen, seemingly with the intention of interrogating him about the supposedly stolen character.
CAGE: Well…did you ever tell him about that meeting we had? About the white Jamaican guy? Is that where he got the idea for the guy in Spring Breakers? Did he steal it from me?
ME: Uh…no. I don't think I ever mentioned it to him. (I had.) And…I don't think he's playing a person of…Caribbean origin in that film? (He is definitely not at all.)
Snoop Dogg said "bring in the hoes"
Rogen worked with Snoop Dogg on a song for the 2013 film This Is the End, but the rapper apparently thought he was only there to help write a hook. When Rogen asked Snoop for a verse, the MC got his inspiration from a surprising source: he called in a group of skimpily dressed women to dance around him. These women were seemingly on hand just in case Snoop needed to write a verse.
Then he looked over to one of his guys, narrowed his gaze…and said: "Bring in the hoes."
The guy left, and within thirty seconds he returned with five or six women who were very much dressed like strippers at the start of a routine. The producer blasted the beat, and women danced and drank while Snoop wrote a rap verse on his Blackberry.
Bob Dylan is a Seth Rogen fan
At the 2011 Grammys, Rogen schmoozed with Dr. Dre and Eminem, and he had an ill-fated encounter with Beyoncé's security guard. It turned out, however, that the best celebrity encounter involved someone he never actually met: Bob Dylan, who wasn't in his green room at the time when Rogen swung by. Years later, Rogen met someone who revealed that Dylan was a fan.
A guy came up to me on the street and was like, "Oh, man, a while back I was at the Grammys with my buddy who looks just like you! You were there, too! You introduced Eminem! Anyway, at the end of the night, a security guard came up to my buddy and handed him a harmonica and said, "Bob's a big fan of yours."
Kanye West rapped an entire album in his van
Rogen has had numerous run-ins with Kanye West over the years, several of which are detailed in Yearbook. The most memorable of them is undoubtedly when West invited Rogen and his wife into his van and then rapped an entire album over a series of unfinished beats. He also showed him the storyboards for a movie about voluptuous, anthropomorphic cats. Incredibly, not one of the songs West rapped in the rap was on his next album (and we're still waiting for that cat movie).
KANYE: Alright, and I start rapping here, and I'm like: Bip bita BOP and a boom bita BAP, and everyone goes, THANK YOU (you, you, you, you). And then I come back in again rapping like: Boom whapa BAM and PA whapa BAM, an then I say, THANK YOU (you, you, you, you). And then Frank Ocean will come in here and be like: Baaaa ba boooooooooo.
Tom Cruise pitched him on Scientology
We've already written about this one, so I won't describe it again — but you should read the wild story here.