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ORDERING WENDYS AND
This "range" is what acting is supposed to be rather than being stuck in the same role for 20 years.
This range will be studied one day…
it’s everyday i think about how jeremy came in full on red from head to toe
The Band at our hotel said they would only play "Satisfaction" for him if he got up & danced!! Watch this if you want to smile 💕🥰😍
huge day in brunette with bangs history
Bruce Wayne's parents named him after Springsteen
gotham canonically always been in new jersey
Perfect excuse to post one of my favorite movie costumes of all time
The 1997 Batman and robin was drag
I think about this cartoon a lot.
two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg we should totally start a pamphlet”
having someone over to your apartment is so intimate. it’s like welcome! so this is all my stuff
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The “I” in LGBTQIA+ is for Italian
Oh, y’all didnt tell #ThePenguin was an ALLY. #HBO
the person who sees your vibrator as a threat and not a collaborator is not your soulmate
September 21
sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. like this email truly should've been a meeting.
Hey, young men planning on voting for Trump: The GOP wants to ban condoms and abortion. Hope you’re ready to be a father!
thinking about the time i went play putt putt and this was the first course
I know a Batmobile when I see one
Lamborghini Terzo Millennio 🇮🇹
When I say comedy plays a pivotal role in our political discourse this is what I mean.
Hey Nick, quick question: Why is Kamala’s teleprompter placed behind her and directly in front of Oprah?
WOW! Apparently Kamala Harris had a freaking TELEPROMPTER during her “interview” with Oprah Scamala Harris is a fraud!
Had to check 3 times to make sure this wasn’t poo crave
Janet Jackson talks about Kamala Harris’ racial identity to @Guardian: “She’s not black. That’s what I heard. That she’s Indian…Her father’s white. That’s what I was told. I mean, I haven’t watched the news in a few days. I was told that they discovered her father was white.”
crying we fr about to do this
NEW MOZART DROPPING DAWG
Saw this on Reddit and it’s so true
This guy is really tall
Here are some images I took of the Oakland Coliseum today
menswear guy has entire hockey teams begging him for mercy
in the 90s, you could be mostly unemployed and living with your parents, but still be very well dressed
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Went to cancel a streaming service that was $10.99 a month and they were like “Lol ok you got us how about $2.99?” Going to spend tomorrow cancelthreatening every service in my life.
Bridget Jones was sexually harassed at both of her workplaces in the movie
WFH may be OK for the older generation, but for the Bridget Joneses of today it's a sham and a snare - and they'll never meet their Mr Darcy dailymail.co.uk/debate/article…
telling the 19 year old at work about my life as a sort of cautionary tale to scare him straight
Idk how to explain it without sounding like a boomer, but I think tiktok trends have made concerts less of a shared experience to appreciate an artist and music and more of a competitive event where people wanna get the best content that will look good for social media
“i feel like this generation of kids don’t seem to understand concert etiquette…or maybe it’s just americans” via instagram live (speak on it!)
September 22
GIRLS WHO LEAVE CLOTHING REVIEWS WITH THEIR HEIGHT WEIGHT AND SIZE ORDERED ARE GOING TO HEAVEN.
I think Sarah Huckabee Sanders has a crush on JD Vance since she’s constantly dressing like a couch he’d like to fuck.
help i thought she was wearing a mini hat 😭
MOTHER
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Funniest shit during nfl games is when they cut to fans in crowd and it’s fully grown men dressed in the dumbest outfits imaginable
me: ok im for real going to go to bed early tonight my brain: hey so unfortunately you gotta research what kind of whale is the biggest whale
8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be
have yall ever had vietnamese coffee like ofc they won that war
this is pissing me off so bad. it literally depends. fuck off
How do you slice your onions?
Serious question: Why are white people so afraid of becoming a minority? Does America treat minorities badly or something?
You are not supposed to say this, but it’s because they’re dumber.
Why do you guys think Republicans are more likely to believe conspiracy theories and vote for nutjobs than Democrats are?
Not true. They passed a bill to rename the Post Office in Kingsland, Arkansas after Johnny Cash.
Woah mamma they put me in tha orb
Hi, I really like your art! Please don't turn out to have groomed a child
Too poor for New York. Too ugly for LA. Too honest for DC… Just masochistic enough for Philadelphia.
Unbelievable backpack to human ratio on this lad
My neighbors Judy and Mitch nail it again this year with their front yard skeletons.
you wanna see something funny? call an english "expat" a migrant worker
This pandemic has reminded me how much I hated group projects
tell your man to get a rebound
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Lizza-Nuzzi Nuptials Fizzle, Rizzed by Grizzled Would-Be Prez
Olivia Nuzzi’s ex-fiance Ryan Lizza confirms broken engagement after RFK Jr. sexting scandal trib.al/zYVLYVV
john mulaney @ dreamforce set oh to be there. we should bully tech nerds much more often. they should get cop treatment at this point
but will you post this @PopCrave
“It’s just my duty to help send resources to a community that is absolutely being destroyed.” — Chappell Roan for The Guardian.
It’s called being 26 years old, and it can happen to anyone.
Chappell Roan’s ability to be an incredibly refreshing voice of reason one moment and then the most annoying, ignorant, humorless weirdo the next moment really should be studied.
September 23
Does charli xcx think Kamala is brat? Is Chappell Roan going to vote this fall? What does Caroline Polachek think of the child tax credit? Would Mitski be a Democrat or a Whig? Has Phoebe Bridgers condemned Assad? Am I going to be okay?
"Can everyone turn their cameras on? Thanks a bunch" Me on Teams camera:
“Too horny for a Kennedy” should come with some type of award.
RFK Jr. may sue Olivia Nuzzi after she ‘bombarded’ him with ‘increasingly pornographic’ pics and videos: report trib.al/HdDx5nD
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This just in, do NOT eat the Little Debbie oatmeal cream pie if you’re 25+. Your body no longer has a Little Debbie oatmeal cream pie enzyme. You WILL get nauseous.
Thought this was Tilda Swinton
Happy birthday, Bruce Springsteen! The pride and joy of Freehold, New Jersey turns 75 years old today!
It’s crazy to me how many motherfuckers get up in arms about trans women swimming but don’t take any issue with this
He’s 7’3 at the age of 13 🤯 (🎥 @CourtsideFilms) pic.x.com/vBceDmRu9w
He playing Colin Kapernick in a Tubi movie
LiAngelo Ball looks READY 👀 @LiAngeloBall (via mcflurrywoo/IG)
These new fruit flies don't give a fck about no fruit
O. M. G. 🤣🤣🤣
There was a white woman performing pretty tame acoustic covers of songs at the bar tonight and then she is like “For my last song, I am gonna be using some choice language if you don’t mind,” and then proceeded to do an acoustic cover of WAP.
hawk! the herald angels sing. glory tuah on that thing
happy bisexual day of visibility! my straight dad went to see both Magic Mike and Magic Mike: XXL in theaters by himself because ‘that channing tatum kid can really dance’
I just googled this exact question and the results brought me to my own tweet. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
Can I use oat milk in. My Annie’s Mac and cheese?!??! Quickly
So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Murdery Steve, he has never been questioned”
Do podcast advertisers not know about this button?
Fun fact: it's actually against the app store terms of service to not have a proper block button. I'm begging Apple to challenge him on it bc this would be his worst and most dangerous change yet. What a loser
Twitter/X is changing the Block feature. Your posts will be visible to anyone you block, but they will not be able to engage with them.
Elon found out that most of us had him blocked.
Wow, Elon really owned us by pointing out that the most educated people in the country vote for Democrats!
beautiful
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Me when I go to the zoo
I saw The Penguin last night and it was shockingly fun lol
Today marks 3 years since I sold my red fridge on Gumtree, under the listing ‘RED FRIDGE’. When the buyer arrived, he asked for £50 off because he “didn’t know it’d be red”. Here’s the picture I used for the ad.
I have never not applied to a job harder oh my god i am laughing so hard. Life is definitely too shot though
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I’m sorry, but nothing is topping this 😭
“The lights are on but nobody’s home” is such a brutal way to say somebody’s dumb 😭😭😭😭😭
September 24
Baby you on the curb😂😂😂😂 give them keys back
paid for my first car at 17, so proud of myself
Thread about the Bridgerton Ball SCAM in Detroit that I (and hundreds of others) spent $300 on
Jesus fucking CHRIST
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who is hiring in nyc? i need 350k a year and i have no skills and im not likable most days
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that’s actually great because you owe me money
We’re bringing back VICE Magazine in all its sprawling and salacious glory, with four print issues a year. Head to vice.com to find out more and join the subscription waitlist.
not jacking off but jacking through. jacking beyond
idk if im pregnant or what but i been craving 3 million dollars so bad
its weird that when seltzer goes flat it doesn’t turn into regular water. you can still taste that something was Done To It
cop: where u headed me: chuck e. cheese. gonna fight the rat cop: [handing me his gun] good luck
The media avoiding the term “ethnic cleansing”
Benjamin Netanyahu considering mass clearance of northern Gaza theguardian.com/world/2024/sep…
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divorce is so weird why do I have an ex-aunt
close enough welcome back boygenius
Lorde, Addison Rae & Charli XCX, via Troye Sivan’s TikTok. #sweattour
this is just like that movie challengers
Josh O’Connor & Mike Faist will vie for awards consideration in the Best Supporting Actor category for ‘CHALLENGERS’ Zendaya will be submitted as Lead Actress.
Just caught my tomatoes trying to sneak out.
September 25
twitter has lost 80% of its traffic since elon took over so if you’re still here you are a true sicko. addicted to the post. can’t log off
“Cuddle McSnugglestuff”
Happy birthday, P Diddy, Puff Daddy, Sean Combs, or as I call him, Cuddle McSnugglestuff. You don’t need to know why. @iamdiddy
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That first message is insane sorry
I think I’m gonna be sick
“ai is coming for your jobs” i’d like to see ai procrastinate all day before a 2pm meeting
I hate how people pile on chiropractors just because they’re fake and dangerous
I used to laugh at these as a kid only for friends to say "Why are you laughing? These bloopers are fake." Bitch the whole movie is fake you're watching a cartoon.
Who remembers when Pixar had blooper reels in movies 🤣
Sure is interesting how we passed the Inflation Reduction Act, and then inflation went down.
I’m one of the two. Sry you’re having a theft problem but having to call for help to pick out my body wash is way too interactive a shopping experience for me.
Dawg, just fix Eglinton man. It’s been 48 years.
#BREAKING: Ontario Premier Doug Ford says he wants to build a tunnel under Hwy. 401 cp24.com/news/doug-ford…
If we can build a tunnel under the 401 surely we can dig a little deeper and get a spa and ferris wheel down there
A nutritionally complete chocolate milkshake-like substance should be piped into every home at the municipal level. You could still cook or go out for fun, but if you were feeling lazy, or you were impoverished, you could simply consume The City Meal directly from the tap.
the Eric Adams indictment news JUST broke and i can already hear people in my neighborhood blasting Not Like Us, Brooklyn is CELEBRATING tonight
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in many ways, we live in the golden age of comedy
He might be the "bad boy" of entertainment, but Sean Combs will forever be a New York City kid who made good. He's given so much back to his roots, and every move he makes is proof that hustle pays off. Enjoy your key to the city, @Diddy!
Puff & Eric Adams gotta recreate this picture with the key to their jail cell
This analysis remains undefeated
Eric Adams is going to be saying the weirdest shit known to man tomorrow.
*extreme robot voice* Er-Ic…NOOooOoOoOo
Never forget
Eric Adams gives the worst answer any politician has ever given to a soft ball question. x.com/Newyorkist/sta…
Humiliating for NYC to have our mayor indicted like we’re fucking Providence or something.
“not so funny when it’s a democrat being indicted” it is. it is still very funny
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September 26
Mayor
who is hiring in nyc? i need 350k a year and i have no skills and im not likable most days
Holy shit. "Your policies are anti-Black!! You are a disgrace to all Black people in this city!" Eric Adams press conference being righteously disrupted right now.
Imagine getting up from a voluntary meeting with the FBI, excusing yourself to the bathroom, and deleting messages and communications they are asking you about...
It's a flight to Istanbul, Michael! How much could it cost, $50?
as a citizen of the toronto crack mayor meltdown all i have to say is congrats nyc
oh good, Rogers Stadium, not to be confused with Rogers Centre, Rogers Arena or Rogers Place. Canada is not beating the "three corporations in a trenchcoat" allegations I fear
INCOMING: Live Nation plans to build a 50,000-capacity stadium at Downsview that would be the biggest purpose-built concert venue in the country, with a massively ambitious opening date: next June theglobeandmail.com/arts/music/art…
a man in a business suit just walked by me and his phone rang and it was the exorcist theme song, so needless to say I have a lot of questions that I am absolutely too afraid to ask
Deepest apologies to any of my supporters who have been cut in half.
one thing I never see discussed in the remote vs office debate is the ability to have sex with my wife who also wfh during the day. much easier while the kids at school and huge boon for my productivity. not sure how to explain to my boss who wants me at the office more
the backlash against Chappell Roan for saying “fine, I’ll vote for the Democratic Party, but I don’t like them” is so bizarre as a Canadian because it’s understood here that everyone votes begrudgingly for whomever they hate least in order to defeat someone worse
North Carolina doesn’t seem too excited about Mark Robinson.
I hope this email kills us both
