I hate 4 way stops cuz everybody stupid
Not having a driver’s license as someone in your 20s or 30s is climate change activism. Asking your friend for a ride is creating community, reinvigorating the global village. Be proud of yourself.
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My nephew just told this man in Chipotle “My auntie’s body is NOT for your eyes!” I was feeling so protected & loved til I turned around to see the finest man I ever seen in my life. Gotta show my nephew a flow chart
chappell roan has remained so strong while facing all the pressures and peculiarities of fame. i could never pretend to like jimmy fallon
Not to expose myself for being dumb—but the vet told me my dog had a spot that might be a melanoma and the first words out of my mouth were “oh that does run in our family.” Like, I really forgot for a sec that I did not give birth to her.
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Black people are less then 5% of the population of Canada. This isn’t great replacement it’s quite literally a skill issue.
🇨🇦 Canadian football team in 2000 vs. 2024. So tragic. Few countries are undergoing population replacement as rapidly as Canada.
Does he know the past few years were on camera?
Jayson Tatum throws shots at the Miami Heat Scalabrine: “You guys have been on a lot of hard-fought trips to Miami, was this one a little sweeter?” Tatum: “They’re always easy.” 👀 (🎥 @NBATV ) pic.x.com/e33mIZ6ZzY
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Dudes rock so severely
If Twitter was invented in 1939
poland has the worst defense LMFAO
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June 22
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Finally… found a house for the real shitters
I live opposite a park and I’ve just had two teenagers knock on my door and ask if they can order pizza to my address as they can’t to the park. So lovely and polite, a credit to their parents and of course, I said it was no problem. Shame that I’ll eat their pizza though…
this is my dream costco experience
Edmonton Costco during game 6. #LetsGoOilers
me not buying a treat at the store so i can save money: haha fuck yeah!!! yes!!! me at home without a treat: well this fucking sucks. what the fuck
Seems fair to me.
I’m sorry
Boo hoo
Very tired of hearing Not Like Us everywhere tbh. I tolerated it for the concert since it was his first performance but it has run it’s course sonically
how the fuck has nobody caught this kid yet
Obviously the solution is that we need more good toddlers with guns to stop them.
Acab but maybe let this one cook a little
Sag Harbor cop who didn't recognize Justin Timberlake during DWI arrest is unmasked as rookie Michael Arkinson... and he's been infuriating the Hamptons elite for months trib.al/phIuBIC
The term “cost of living” should radicalize you.
I like that being utterly unfuckable is now a political stance
Guy at Trump rally can’t get a girlfriend because of Biden.
Doesn’t seem like a fair matchup but I’ll be rooting for her 😔🙏
Oh she’s a professional gold digger. I was not familiar with her game lol
Jordon Hudson’s 64-year-old ex slams Bill Belichick relationship critics: ‘Wise beyond her years’ trib.al/FOcMM8o
“was it the sweatpants” exciting new high utility punchline
June 23
I’m not sure if yall are aware, but Kendrick Lamar has 17 Grammys.
If his next release doesn’t outdo everything “Not Like Us” has done, we’re going to start a conversation.
During the movie today this couple was talking pretty loudly and when somebody turned around to shush them the guy very indignantly went "she was telling me something." Yeah man. We know what language is for
My boyfriend has started working from home 1 day a week. The way he speaks to his colleagues has been a bit of an eye opener that's making me reconsider our relationship. Just today i've heard him say the phrases low hanging fruit, synergy, proof in the pudding & extra bandwidth.
Having gay men on your mind while you’re on your knees. Pride month won.
Pride month is so defeated. I love you @charisedwardss
Abe getting that good
Maybe a wax Lincoln sculpture wasn’t the best idea during DC’s first week of summer heat
I bet the best part of being in a throuple is that you have someone to do all three Beastie Boys parts at karaoke.
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When you find out who doesn’t have Asian friends.
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I think about this interaction everyday of my life bro
June 24
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Applying for jobs sometimes is wild like how am i supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet? 😂
Shit getting spooky out here #certifiedboogeyman
BREAKING | "A bet's a bet." Ron DeSantis closes Camrose Hospital.
BREAKING | Premier Smith finalizes Stanley Cup final wager with Florida: "If Governor DeSantis wins, he’s gets to close down one of our rural hospitals. If I win, I get to pick which one.”
Here’s Roy Orbison without his sunglasses on. And here’s Pierre Poillievre. Now, all I’m saying is Roy played a set at the Jubilee Auditorium in Calgary on September 27th, 1978. Nine months later Pierre Poilievre was born on June 3 1979.
This lady just picked her husband up from the airport, kissed him and immediately went to the passenger seat lmao
Bugs Bunny would’ve had this shit on
This “Yoo-hoo boys!” ass outfit
super unsettling to me that we're losing so many archives of pop culture history during this particular period of people thinking that having a twitter or tiktok account makes them a music business expert and culture historian without actually knowing much of anything at all
Some two decades’ worth of content published on MTV News' website is no longer available after MTV appears to have fully pulled down the site. variety.com/2024/digital/n…
yo, imagine being this stupid
Why do they want the libraries open so badly? Something nefarious is going on that these progressive lunatics want it on this level
this has probably been said before, including by me, but I love when larry david recycles a bit from seinfeld in curb because it means the thing he's complaining about has been bothering him for, in some cases, decades
dropping your father's last name summer
Suri Cruise celebrates high school graduation with mom Katie Holmes, drops dad Tom’s last name at ceremony trib.al/dfPBUBZ
i just KNOW dave grohl jokingly poked fun at taylor swift because her stans decided to send death threats to his daughter for speaking up about her unnecessary use of her private jets he’s made that comment so the hate is directed at him to divert attention from his daughter
That’s my man y’all.
*nsync last week:
one my coworkers got arrested 😭
Silver lining.
Drake has placed a $500,000 bet on the Edmonton Oilers
The way Google has become so useless that I need to add “Reddit” to the end of all my searches to actually get the information I’m looking for needs to be studied
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hahahahaha this sucks man
The Hidden Environmental Impact of AI by @LoisParshley jacobin.com/2024/06/ai-dat…
can i show you guys something
June 25
Please hesitate to reach out to me.
no i don’t want to jump on a call i want to jump off a building
we can't all be underemployed creatives someone in the group chat needs to know what insurance is
Life tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. That way when you receive spam/advert emails, you will know who sold your info.
genuinely couldn’t care less what people think about the situation, but taylor swift fans posting pics of kurt cobain’s suicide and laughing because they don’t like dave grohl is insane parasocial behaviour
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this is still the funniest post anyone’s ever made
We need an age restriction on this app
The LA riots were 32 years ago. "Falling Down" was made 31 years ago. The homicide rate in LA County was more than twice as high 30 years ago as it is today.
imagine getting in a boat, plane or car with a Kennedy
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And she made them find her a studio where she lived so she could record. She was *not* going to LA. 😂
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There are over 11,000 of these insane deathtraps already on our roads. This Cybertruck accelerated unexpectedly right into a neighbor's house, while the owner had his foot firmly the break. In fact, the last 50 feet the back wheels were locked up and it still wouldn't stop.
ADHD is so dumb, where could I possibly have hidden a family size bag of salt & vinegar chips in my studio apartment
June 26
first time seeing someone with their glasses off
rlly obsessed with these eyelinerless pandas rn
First time buying fireworks and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.
If you see someone crying ask them if it’s because of their haircut
My body count? You mean the number of paragraphs between my introduction and my conclusion?
I went with my Grandma to see his new motorcycle movie, she said, “he can put his boots under my bed anytime,” she’s 87.
We live in a time of such disconnect from production and growth of food that unripe fruit has become a conspiracy theory
Are you eating Bill Gates FAKE FOOD?
remember when the internet worked and people were on it and you could learn things that were true
Every other day a thousand people get laid off while an entire digital archive gets deleted and meanwhile we’re expected to get on our knees and pledge allegiance to a plagiarism machine that stole all of our creativity from those same humans that keep getting laid off & deleted
One of the richest repositories of late-night videos—including clips from every episode of 'The Daily Show' since 1999 and the entire run of 'The Colbert Report'— is no longer. latenighter.com/news/paramount…
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Be careful with how you oppose unspeakable cruelty and evil you might alienate some people
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Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.
COVID rebrand just dropped
make it stop
y’all be like “oof this heat wave” whole time it’s global warming in first stage of the apocalypse
Y'all want these celebrities to stop using jets or not?
IM FUCKING CRYING
One of the biggest mistakes was letting it be called climate change. It sounds pleasant. It doesn’t sound like it may kill your family.
June 27
maybe the funniest explanation for a recall i’ve seen
32th
Kyle Filipowski has been drafted with the 32th pick to the Utah Jazz! Go be great, @kylefilipowski‼️
It has been discovered that LeBron James is sleeping with his newest teammate’s mom
I suppose I could log off for a bit
The code-switch at 0:28 must be seen to be believed
my 2024 debate drinking game, enjoy:
Trump being muted while President Biden is talking and unable to interrupt him and having to let him complete his points might literally kill him.
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So Trump is just gonna lie, CNN is going to let it happen, and Biden has a frog in his throat so it’s just like…what tf is this
"He's losing his voice so vote for the felon" Y'all stupid as a June day is long.
This format was a bit of a trap, Trump is lying his ass off and no fact checks.
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Define Black jobs and Hispanic jobs. QUICKLY.
Report: Uh Oh, They’re About To Talk About Black People
What the hell is a “Black job?!”
Biden: If I’m elected I’m gonna restore roe v wade Bitch you are elected. right now.
THEY TALKING ABOUT GOLF?!
Cannot fact check this golf exchange
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I say give them both a Roku remote and the first one to start a movie gets to be president
Even Calm is freaked out
now let's all collectively turn off our tv's and go to sleep
It could be worse. Those could be the two guys running for president
biden: unintelligible bullshit trump: straight up not-true bullshit moderators: thank you.
yes that's what I want My President to sound like. A reanimated corpse at war with the bone dust gathered in his throat over centuries
Watching this debate makes me envy Biden for being about to die
they should invent a president who is a normal age
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TRUMP: This guy literally kills babies. Two year old babies. BIDEN, LOOKING SKELETAL: Now… now.. TRUMP: This guy asked Mexico to send its prisoners here. BIDEN: [eyes widen] hey… TRUMP: Attractive white girls—dead. Is that what you want? TAPPER: We now turn to taxes.
it's insane that there's no live fact-checking. every answer is like biden: trump did this and it's disgusting trump: no i didnt, and also you did it worse biden: that is simply not true jake tapper: thank you mr president. i guess we'll never know
FACT CHECK Trump: “Biden is a very bad Palestinian.” TRUE: Biden is far too alive to be a Palestinian.
the worst thing about them playing the debate at the strip club rn is that neither sound nor subtitles are on so its just the vibe of the debate.
Where the hell was the Joe Biden who is currently speaking at the Atlanta watch party during the debate? He sounds and seems fine now.
