This is my favorite joke from my Netflix is a Joke set
is that why they made her stand in the woods
Kate Middleton gives first health update since cancer announcement: ‘I’m not out of the woods yet’ trib.al/iAW2IdL
Can we all pause and acknowledge that no job has ever asked us for proof that we went to the college we say we went to
customer: I have a question about my account bank teller: withdrawal? customer: oh sorry, ah have a question about mah account
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this guy got mad at me in traffic and sped up next to me to give an intimidating glare I have never seen a white man so puzzled in my life
You know how racist you gotta be to get beat up by a yt dude and then attack the first black guy you see?
AYO LMAOOOOO 🤣🤣
can you show me a beautiful image that will change my life
i wanna be as unbothered as the cameraman x.com/copiumx/status…
I just know they were saying “Damn, that’s crazy,” to him 37 times per day.
Glen Powell's Hit Man transformations
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Boy its hot as fuck. Can you imagine waking up one Egyptian morning and the Pharoah tell everybody they gotta build a pyramid?
June 15
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Showgirls (1995)
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One time someone broke up with me 26 hours after getting their first pair of glasses.
He was in the beatles! 🪼
The perfect headline doesn’t exi—
Trump challenges Biden to a cognitive test but confuses the name of the doctor who tested him apnews.com/article/trump-…
This is what REAL crisis actors look like.
they should be allowed to take turns knocking the stuffing out of him with a bat like a piñata
BREAKING: Sandy Hook families want to seize Alex Jones' social media accounts.
Hey @Boeing, my neighbor Gary that mows at 8 am, is saying a lot of bad things about your company. DM me for address.
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On the final, I ask students how many classes they attended, & what might make them come more. One student said 0 classes, bc syllabus says “I encourage you to wear a mask. The pandemic is not over” this “rubbed [them] the wrong way” so they never came, to intro epidemiology
I think about this exchange a lot.
he needs to know if his nap is going be interrupted by thunderstorms
Why he watching the weather report like he's getting ready for work??
[SEPTEMBER 11TH, 2001] TOM BRADY: damn! Wtf just happened coach!? BILL BELICHICK: a tragedy Tom...but I have a feeling we are going to win the super bowl in a few months... BELICHICKS GIRLFRIEND: goo goo ga ga
had a beautiful moment of community today when everyone gathered to point and laugh at a cybertruck parallel parking in bushwick
Jesse Pinkman would have made a beautiful full time uber eats driver slash soundcloud rapper if not for that white demon
the fact that the only people excited about AI are the biggest losers you've ever met feels telling
June 16
update: i ran away
omw to my arranged marriage hope he not ugly
I know my brother and his gf are fighting when I receive a text like this
Calm down Walmart
just saw the most horrifying video on tiktok but she deleted it so now u all have to see it too
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me trying to unstick my balls from my leg
she's so underrated as a dancer x.com/affordtwo/stat…
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Taylor Swift is Elon Musk for women and i will not be elaborating further
she stuck her tounge thinking she ate im crying 😭 x.com/affordtwo/stat…
Invest in Anthropic, Creator of ClaudeAI. Now Available on Linqto! Get in early on a leading LLM company.
NO I DO NOT WANT TO WATCH A VIDEO I JUST WANT WRITTEN INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO USE YOUR PRODUCT
I've heard people talking about media literacy, but maybe we should be concerned with just... literacy.
'Star Wars' fans are review-bombing a 2008 movie called 'Acolytes' instead of 'The Acolyte' on Rotten Tomatoes.
Hate to bring this up in the middle of a heist but when I said I was a safe cracker I meant I'm a chill white guy
babe wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on indeed until i start to cry
Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent
omfg brutal
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this was supposed to be her Espresso
Whitney didn’t need multiple versions 🤭
Taylor Swift's 'THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT' joins Whitney Houston's 'Whitney' as the only female albums in history to spend their first eight weeks of release at #1 on the Billboard 200.
I'll never forget the moment I heard this for the first time for as long as I live
"Your son's a sick man with sick thoughts, I think n****s like him should d!e / Him & Weinstein should get f*cked up in in a cell for the rest of they lives " — Kendrick Lamar addressing Drake's mother
There was a period after potty training my son where he felt compelled to show us every time he crapped in the toilet.
Insane! 🤯 @LumaLabsAI Dream Studio clips can be infinitely long by grabbing the last frame & generating a follow up clip. Unlike most other AI video tools that loose quality & morph; Dream Studio just keeps it going forever. This is 14 continuous clips. Sound up 🆙🔊🔊
‘Blacks for Trump’ Co-Chairs Diane Black and Marsha Blackburn.
This lady in my local mom group was looking for a more "red" town in the county and another woman commented "search for towns with higher rates of COVID deaths"
I will die on this hill — plant-based options should not be more expensive than animal-based options.
I will die on this hill — mocktails should not be basically the same price as cocktails.
June 17
Believe in yourself like visitors who believe they can pet a bison.
I literally remember where I was when Tony Hawk pulled off the 900 and now children are doing it this must be how the people who grew up in the Bob Cousy era felt when they saw Michael Jordan
in case yall wanted to see a 9 year old demon land three 900s back to back to back
I don’t know how to explain this but Dave Matthews has been 45 for 30 years
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yall they saying they shrunk the tampons and the pads without telling anyone (shrinkflation). so many people think their flows have gotten heavier bc they’re running thru the menstrual products when its really just companies being greedy!!!! i hate it here OMG!!!
I don't understand when people veer to the right just because they find left wing people very annoying. I find left wing people very annoying and I'm still left wing
do conservatives not realize this is what they actually sound like
what the fuck happened to this show lmao
im scared to apply for jobs because what if they call me
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what are some good entry level worries for someone new to anxiety?
I just can’t believe we got SO CLOSE to masks in healthcare being normalized and then even the medical community said ehhhh fuck it. Just straight up losers, I’m sorry. We could’ve had something so good.
Vaxxed 💉?
🚨Report: Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s presidential campaign is on financial life support. Via: Politico
I always judged elderly couples who can't function apart, but occasionally my husband sleeps in, and since he makes the coffee, I just don't have coffee those days. I want coffee but alas. Unsolvable problem
Wait until you learn what Adios means
Today, I learned that "goodbye" is just a contraction of "god be with you," and now I'm upset
😎 Well done, Calgary
I assumed that checking the “Keep me signed in on this device” box on the login page would result in ur website actually keeping me signed in on this device but I guess I’m the fucking idiot here huh I guess I’m just a fool
LMBAOOOOOOOO the incels finally find out they’re the baddies and now they’re throwing a fit. This is why I don’t give a flying fuck about audience scores.
I think stealing Amazon packages and DoorDash meals off ppl porches is the most bum shit you could ever do
Why is everyone suddenly saying the word gay and r*tarded like it’s the 90s? Why is thin back in? Why can’t the pope stop saying f*ggottry? Why are the democrats border hawks now? Why are all the pop stars making country albums? It’s the global cultural shift to the right
Hey, @nytimes, no paint is necessary. He is, in fact, convicted of 34 felonies.
If y’all could see the face I made when Donald started talking 😭
He’s a good father.
Friend: how tall are you? Me: 5’3” but I have the rage of someone much, much taller
I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like hey you can’t do that anymore
the european mind cannot comprehend this
“WORLD CHAMPIONS”
2024 WORLD CHAMPIONS 🏆
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perfect end to the zero aura nba finals
“WE DID IT” -Jayson Tatum pic.x.com/sjderpnGD0
Congratulations to the Boston Celtics, a team everyone loves and is happy for, on their NBA Finals victory. :)
“Best city in the world” Champions leave immediately to go party somewhere else lol
#Celtics are headed to Miami for a few days to party. Parade is expected to be this Friday. #NBAFinals
June 18
I've never seen anything like this You're telling me they didn't even spend 24 hours in the City they just won a title in? Lmao
LIVE: The Boston Celtics have arrived in Miami a day after claiming the franchise’s 18th championship, breaking a tie with the Los Angeles Lakers for the most in league history. x.com/i/broadcasts/1…
“This tweet has been deleted” makes shit 10x more funny
Jayson Tatum went on a plagiarism world tour last night 😂😂
Jayson Tatum gonna pay for his crimes 😭😭 This is crazy lmaoo
Boston fans thought the first black person they saw outside with a beard was Jaylen Brown 😭😭
First glance I thought we were sending these boys to space
The FOUR for #ParisOlympics. 🇺🇸 Scheffler, Schauffele, Clark, Morikawa. #TeamUSA
fucked up that they’re right about eating healthier. fucked up they’re right about getting 8 hours of sleep. fucked up they’re right about exercising. fuck this chungus life
Am I hallucinating or did people really used to call television remotes "the clicker" because the very early ones made audible clicks that changed the channel?
My mom talks on speakerphone with the same energy as a hostage negotiator.
The hardest part of being a parent to small children for me is the dumb questions. And it makes me feel like a monster but my kid asked why he couldn’t take a vase to daycare and I said “it’s glass you can’t” and he said “what if a wizard made it not glass” get out of my face
open the schools !!!!!
doctor: you have 249 minutes to live me:
damn...i wonder how canada has the highest rate of muslims being targeted and killed in attacks of any g7 country. probably has nothing to do with shit like this
Downtown Toronto today... Anyone have any insight into who's funding this racist Islamophobic incitement propaganda truck? Any thoughts on this @MayorOliviaChow? @marcomendicino? @YaaraSaks?
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CNN goes through 30 false statements from today’s Trump rally
Oh wow a canceled meeting! Now they really mean business!
Scoop: White House cancels meeting, scolds Netanyahu in protest over video trib.al/t6IaNQI
Put the blunt down, damn!
Wiz Khalifa at his baby shower 🍼
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turning does feel like quite a pivotal part of driving a car
Self-driving cars are safer than those driven by humans, except when it is dusk, dawn, or the vehicle is turning, according to a new study. Read more 🔗 trib.al/vKyw6o6
you either get a job by talking to one person on the phone for 10 minutes or doing 8 interviews with 14 people and two different edit tests.
Didn't realize how few perks we have at the office til I said "we're allowed to listen to the radio on Friday!" to a new hire in a way that can be likened to a girl of 12 saying "I got an orange for Christmas!" as her papa lay dying of gangrene after the Battle of Fredericksburg
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Come From Away 2???
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If you wanted to know what a country on the verge of collapse looks like, it looks a lot like this.
JUST IN: Massachusetts reporting statewide 911 outage
Larry the plumber has $250k in capital gains every year?
Larry the Plumber isn’t wealthy, but will be punished by Justin Trudeau’s latest tax grab. After nine years Justin Trudeau is not worth the cost to Canada’s plumbers.
i’m more tired at 3PM than i am at midnight
gazing into their respective futures
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Happy Juneteenth Eve.
The most Bojack Horseman-coded thing I've ever seen
Not TROLLS STAR Justin Timberlake lmaooooooooo
pisses me off to see people assume justin timberlake "driving while intoxicated" = "drunk driving." he might have been intoxicated by an aroma, a sound, an idea.
Please arrest Jimmy Fallon too. I don't care for what. Just lock him up.
It's pretty great that "hating Justin Timberlake" brings so many people together. People who love Janet Jackson. People who love Britney Spears. Millennials who resented the bodyshaming of Jessica Simpson. Who else am I missing; what other women did he screw over?
June 19
Justin Timberlake is the only human being who could temporarily make Twitter on the cop’s side
Watching all 3 Austin Powers movies at once
I have the whole row to myself on this transatlantic flight, thanks to me accidentally booking my original flight out of the wrong airport and having to book a new flight last minute. I have never felt more blessed
Heard another dad at the park refer to the approaching ice cream truck as the music truck. His kid didn’t make one mention of ice cream, just said “oh cool, I love the music truck!” I was stunned. Absolutely brilliant.
My husband told me I act like he forgets everything. So this morning when his alarm went off, I let him get ready for work and leave. He forgot he was off today.
Your dad raised the capital gains inclusion rate to 75 per cent, Nicholas.
This is what happens when our leaders are out of ideas, lack vision. Focused instead on ‘splitting the pie’, not ‘growing the pie’.
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What the fuck is Friends about???
My toxic trait is that I want every fictional helmet to do this
🙏
New gay icon just dropped
These are the same song
just witnessed a white man say “happy holidays” to a cashier at a jamaican restaurant lol
I’m sorry but the irony here is insane 💀
Fans seen wearing custom Kendrick Lamar merch ahead of his 'Pop Out' show tonight 👀 THEY - NOT - LIKE - US DOT. - F**K - EM - UP
the closest you can come to feeling like a Roman Emperor is having an entire stadium call your opp a pedophile at your command
KENDRICK RAN NOT LIKE US BACK IMMEDIATELY AND LET THE CROWD SING THE LYRICS FOR HIM DOG.. HE BARELY RAPPED!!! THIS IS THE MOST INSANE VICTORY LAP IVE EVER SEEN IN MY FUCKING LIFE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 pic.x.com/dig3zzZlC5
To Bury A Canadian #ThePopOut
So then Drake told Kendrick that he rap like he tryna free the slaves Kendrick threw a concert on Juneteenth that united rival hoods and celebrated legends. - Me at a BBQ on Juneteenth 2054
Today is the most Saturday Wednesday ever, and that’s fire.
This deserves an EMMY
he was just happy to be there chile
steve lacy up there w the gang members
Kendrick had Tyler and Steve Lacy on stage dancing with crips and bloods during Pride Month. That’s real unity right there
An episode of Jerry Springer in the 90s:
He got everything on that stage, bloods, crips, athletes, rappers, singers, women, gay niggas, children, clowns
nah bro Kendrick Lamar is a sicko
“Give me Tupac’s ring back and I might give you a little respect” LMFAO KENDRICK ADDED IN A NEW LYRIC FOR DRAKE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Fam Kendrick Lamar has on Nike Shox man, what the fuck was Drake even thinking this isn’t a normal human being, I just tried to google where to buy some and my phone restarted
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COME ON MAN😭😭
KENDRICK PUT DAVE FREE NAME FIRST IN THE DAMN CREDITS. HE’S SICK😭😭
Dr. Dre hittin the “I see dead people” line… cold asf x.com/Rap301_/status…
WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT FROM THE KENDRICK STREAM???
DR DRE GOT A WEIRD CASE, WHY IS HE AROUND?
Drake shouting out YG during the disses is still the funniest thing ever because YG wasn’t on that at allll lmao
“YG is Jay-Z to Mexicans” has literal tears flowing out of my eyes. Holy shit 😂
The concert director, camera operators, sound engineers, and lighting technicians were all on 10! Give them their flowers and applause cauae this whole production, especially the timing was hella hard.💐 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
This nigga said WOP WOP WOP and the camera started cutting like an Anime this shit is HILARIOUS 😭😭
WOPENHEIMER - The Wop Wop Wop Supercut (2024)
Sometimes you indeed have to step outside and demonstrate to gentlemen
When the TL comes together and watches things together >>>>>>>>> The Jokes >>>>
adonis watchin dis shit ina bathroom on his ipad
Somebody on Drake campaign gotta tell him he lost California like it’s election night
The entire West Coast united on stage for the finale of Kendrick Lamar & Friends The Pop Out
This concert made me realize one thing: Drake’s biggest mistake in the beef might actually be trying to use the West Coast against Kendrick. BUT we do got to thank Aubrey Drake Graham in a way…at his expense, we managed to get one of the most historic nights in Hip-Hop history.
THE WEEKND PULLED UP TO KENDRICK LAMAR’S 'POP OUT' CONCERT 👀🔥
Kendrick even had the decency to make this at a time that’s convenient for eastern/central time zones.
Same day delivery is insane.
Getting dissed on Amazon Prime is crazy.
Kendrick Lamar Presents: I Hate Drake The Musical Sponsored by Amazon Music
Amazon execs collecting this money on Juneteeth:
KENDRICK RAN NOT LIKE US BACK IMMEDIATELY AND LET THE CROWD SING THE LYRICS FOR HIM DOG.. HE BARELY RAPPED!!! THIS IS THE MOST INSANE VICTORY LAP IVE EVER SEEN IN MY FUCKING LIFE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
“heard they made a concert about me and all my haters was in the mix, played that song 5 times cause you’re scared of the six”
NOT LIKE US. 5 TIMES IN A ROW. 🔥 x.com/Brn00g/status/…
Kendrick just like me, I too play “not like us” 5 times back to back when I listen to it idc
Even after the fifth time this was still me
Getting cooked on Juneteenth. On Amazon!!! In front of the world?!! I would cry, OMG!!!
There is a 7 year old blood walking on my TV screen to a song about one of the biggest artists in the world being a pedophile. And it’s being sponsored by Amazon. This life is a fever dream
Imagine getting read down by an entire arena and a man in CVS reading glasses
This is like “We Are the World” but for hating a guy.
If I were Drake I’d cancel my Amazon Prime membership immediately.
I love this video lol
Drake's made an entire career of pandering to professional athletes to think he's cool and Kendrick Lamar has the NBA All-Star team on stage calling him a pedophile it's never been more over
he got the whole city of l.a., including russ and demar, dancing on drake's grave. demar was a raptor!!!
🚨RUSSEL WESTBROOK AND DEMAR DEROZAN GO ON STAGE WITH KENDRICK LAMAR TO PERFORM "NOT LIKE US"
David Stern would've fined Russ & Demar something crazy.
If Drake did this in Toronto it’d be him and Scottie Barnes
This concert better than the Finals.
This one is flames
A Crip Walk Ho-Down is CRAZY 😭
witnessed history , this is truly one of the greatest moments ive ever seen
I would like to join a Gang immediately.
Dying at this man rubbing genuine friendship in that dude's face 😭
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Amazon Execs watching this K. Dot gang meetup:
Don’t scan that QR code on Kendrick stream that shit initiated me into the Hoover Crips
I bet Kendrick never gets dissed again. I tell you that.
Don’t let anyone tell you hating is bad. Look at this absolute menace! He looks at peace with the hate. Glowing, even. I am truly invigorated.
THIS HOW YOU SUPPOSED TO TREAT YA ENEMIES KICK THEM WHILE THERE DOWN AND KEEP KICKING THEM AND DON’T STOP KICKING
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Kendrick should have brought out the school shooter from Degrassi.
June 20
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Kendrick had Crips and Bloods shaking hands dancing to him calling Drake a pedophile to an entire audience of screaming fans. There has never been such a complete cultural victory before this. this is Genghis Khan levels of hating.
witnessed history , this is truly one of the greatest moments ive ever seen
“finna pass on this body, i’m john stockton. what a lyric, huh chuckster?”
Inside the NBA needed to come on after that Kendrick concert.
“A Minoooooooooooooor!”
"What chord he tryna strike, Chuck?"
YOOO KENDRICK BROUGHT OUT DANISH ATOMIC PHYSICIST NIEHLS BOHR
This is how you knew this was a real BLACK gathering cause they always gone let a kid cut up for the one time
A “gone do your lil dance” moment. Was the icing on the cake. pic.x.com/xAK3dxLb4I
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Naw, not the AP declaring a winner like it's an election.... I am hollering....
After Drake battle, Kendrick Lamar turns victory lap concert into LA unity celebration apnews.com/article/kendri…
this is just happening now? Are you serious?
Comedy legend Carol Burnett puts her handprints in cement outside of Hollywood's famed TCL Chinese Theatre.
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When I was a babysitter I once let a kid eat half a bag of mini marshmallows to shut her up and when her parents heard about it they were like "ugh yeah sorry she's so annoying, anyways here's $60 see you next week." We used to be a civilized society.
BREAKING: The Chicago Bulls are trading two-time All-Defensive guard Alex Caruso to the Oklahoma City Thunder for guard Josh Giddey, sources tell ESPN.
trade grades: thunder - A+ bulls - A-MINORRRRRRRRRR
Breaking: The Chicago Bulls are trading Alex Caruso to the Oklahoma City Thunder for Josh Giddey, sources tell @wojespn.
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