Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? My one and only phone that I and I alone use to log in several times every single day? And the geographical location is my *house*, you say? Thank you so much for warning me I will contact interpol
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
I’m campaigning for slapping more Gen Zs. Everybody ain’t playing with you. 💀
Bradley Martyn just slapped the sh*t out of a streamer for stealing his hat at the gym 😭
i mean -
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
Actually quite disgusted at myself
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
let me go kiss my bottle of tylenol and show some gratitude
Treatment for headaches in 1895
June 8
I miss 2020 when it was illegal for people to come near me.
what if reeses cups moaned when you pulled their little panties off
i am honestly very here for the nicola coughlan bandwagon; she’s on a massive press tour and the two biggest messages from her have been free palestine and enjoy the tiddies - absolutely iconic behaviour
nicola coughlan the woman you are.
This is more gay than gay sex
The storm begins in 60mins. Join us or perish.
Dead ass the funniest non player in the league
Berk Simpleton United States Census, 1920
This type of Saturday
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
found out the other day that my printer is subscription based… meaning i cannot print anything (even though i have a physical printer with ink inside of it) unless i subscribe to pay monthly 🙂 what the fuck
STOP MAKING EVERYTHING INTO A DAMN SUBSCRIPTION SERVICE IF I BUY THE SOFTWARE, I SHOULD ONLY HAVE TO PAY FOR IT ONCE
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
having a sister in the medical field is so funny. she’s like “today i delivered a baby and assisted in a surgery that will fundamentally improve someone’s quality of life” and i’m like “i made a spreadsheet worse than how i found it”
BREAKING | Take Back Alberta hosts car wash fundraiser in support of Calgary water crisis victims
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
June 9
The female version of a Jack of all Trades is a Jill of all Skills
this is actually the best paragraph ever written about a men’s restroom
has to be the best paragraph ever written about a men’s restroom
This is John Myth
This is what they do to him when he goes to the Scientology center. He powers the entire building himself. That's why they won't let him go.
oblivion is a very important movie to the cruise canon because it gave us the tom cruise hamster wheel
Imagine you work ya 9-5 job and go to the gym after to blow some steam off and hoop with the homies … Now you gotta guard Steph Curry
Hotel check in/check out times will never make sense to me. You want me to check in when the day is almost over but I should leave the hotel EARLY?
The way he consistently misses cultural conversations should be studied
Stephen A. Smith says he still finds it hard to go to the movies to watch a Will Smith movie and explains why Will Smith still needs to sit down and talk to the Black community about why he slapped Chris Rock. (🎥 @stephenasmith )
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
Oakland last night 😂 this the song of the summer
So Drake sent YN a rat emoji suggesting he leaked the Family Matters info to Kendrick? But didn’t Drake say he intentionally leaked the false info to Kendrick himself??? Hm.
It has started…
Joe Budden to Drake while listening to Kendrick Lamar's diss track "Not Like Us": “You better your heavens up above, it’s not HBCU season”
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
open the schools!
my lesbian friend who's stuck on pride float with a dozen gay men:
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
June 10
I bought this stupid ‘murica ice cream only to open it up and start laughing because it just occurred to me that it’s the fucking French flag.
immigration officer to me at JFK today: Why do you live in America? me to immigration officer: Frankly that's a question I ask myself every day Immigration officer (straight face): No I don’t mean existentially, I’m asking what you do here in the United States me: oh
like that’s him… that’s the 76er
Shawn Bradley doesn't get enough respect for wearing both being 7'6" and wearing No. 76 while playing for the 76ers.
that's usually how it works
Fallout Season 2 will continue the stories of Season 1's characters nerdist.com/article/fallou…
iOS 18 gets Call Recording! YESSS
The kids can’t read and now they won’t know how to do math, this is bad!!!
Apple is introducing ‘Math Notes’ on iPad, where users can write down a math problem with Apple pencil and the app solves it immediately in real-time pic.x.com/OOP2wEJqB6
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
watching the ticker go up as I help eliminate waste from disposable plastic bottles
good morning
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
Can't be a progressive anymore. Because of stroke
BREAKING: Sen. John Fetterman says “progressivism has left him” after a near-death experience ‘freed’ him to speak out.
I was going to vote for President Biden. But after Donald Trump’s rally yesterday where he talked about a boat sinking and an underwater battery and getting electrocuted & sharks in the water. I don’t know. I’m on the fence.
Hunter Biden feeling such a genuine sense of calm while smoking crack with prostitutes that his default band for such scenarios became Fleet Foxes is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard. Brings to mind the image of a monk, meditating in the eye of a hurricane
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
Look how nobody having fun bc Drake won’t let them play the song of the summer 💀🤣
Drake at Kamp yesterday in Houston
WWE Wrestlers are drag queens for straight men. I will not be taking further questions at this time thank you
If wrestling is fake, then explain this? pic.x.com/5nYjCa4eIx
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
...ok?
Taylor Swift will not appear in ‘DEADPOOL & WOLVERINE’ (Source: ew.com/taylor-swift-n…)
June 11
THIS IS CRAZYYY….
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
Accurate.
A real illness I have is I still think "if I just make sure people have the right information then they will change their mind."
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
Watching it live, you absolutely knew it was a torn medial retinaculum. You were just hoping it didn't allow the dislocation of the posterior tibialis tendon.
Celtics' Kristaps Porzingis suffered a torn medial retinaculum allowing dislocation of the posterior tibialis tendon.
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
Late stage capitalism doesn’t get enough credit for occasionally being pretty funny
The first 7 ‘SAW’ films are now streaming on Disney+ (with Hulu subscription)
everything is just Movie: the TV Show, based on Book
‘DUNE’ prequel series ‘DUNE: PROPHECY’ will debut on Max this fall. Set 10,000 years before the ascension of Paul Atreides, it follows two Harkonnen sisters as they combat forces that threaten the future of humankind, and establish the fabled sect Bene Gesserit.
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
Oh hi I am Microsoft, the world's most valuable company, a title I have held intermittently since 1998. I am especially known for my dominant hold on enterprise software. You now have two email applications, named "Outlook" and "Outlook (new)." This is very professional.
Oh yeah it’s a Brat summer
This is not your brat summer, you are 32, start a stretching routine
be an ally
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
Ben Affleck Is Apparently “Leaning On” Matt Damon Amid Reports That He And Jennifer Lopez Are “Living Separate Lives” buzzfeed.com/ellendurney/be…
6 months
REVEALED: Women will be having more sex with ROBOTS than men by 2025 thesun.uk/6019BvkRf
elon: let’s allow porn software engineer: um ok? elon: *walking back into the room 5 minutes later* hey can everyone see likes?
“you coming over? if not, I’ll just take some tranquilizers” really good text
The most pathetic man alive
That ozempic is tearing yall stomach linings UP
Oprah Winfrey hospitalized for stomach issue that left her with 'stuff coming out of both ends' according to best friend Gayle King trib.al/SqTbaDR
June 12
Will Smith could slap 50 babies and still be more beloved than Rob Schneider.
Actor Rob Schneider calls Will Smith a liar, fraud, and douchebag for slapping Chris Rock at the Oscars. (🎥 KIIS/ YouTube)
Jay didn't perform at any Hip Hop 50 concerts last year where the fans would've known every word to his songs, but he makes time to get ignored by rich folks smh.
Jay-Z opened up for Tom Brady during his Patriots Hall of Fame induction ceremony. 🗣️ pic.x.com/Y4MRN2bCiR
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
i bought a new car battery and it was like $220 and the girl at auto zone said “wanna see how much it would cost if you needed 99 of them?” and i said “okay” so she typed 99 in the quantity and the price went to $23000 and she said “thats how much it would cost” and i said “okay”
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
just gonna watch this for the rest of the night ✌️
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
#Predator was released 37 years ago today
How is Adonis supposed to go to birthday parties anymore 😭
Kids rapping Kendrick Lamar’s ‘Not Like Us’ word for word at a birthday party 😂 x.com/mediaacct0313/…
Nah man I had to add Meet the Grahams beat to this one this is insane 😬😭
Good lord, Brian Windhorst just unloaded the clip on Luka Doncic
One day Luka Doncic will have a statue in Dallas that looks like this
Luka Doncic watching the end of the game from the bench
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
Should’ve been done a long time ago, but let’s go!
i’m not sure i’ve ever seen a dril tweet executed so well in real life like this. 10/10
Canceled in the Ohio Senate for referring to Senate President Tim McVeigh Jr. and his podcast gremlin John Fortney as “the Blow Job Brothers.”
Yeah
Can you believe I used to be addicted to c*ke?
Imagine going to the club in 1970 to hang with your friends and a band you’ve never heard of called Kraftwerk is playing and they ruin your night by inventing techno music
I never updated Twitter on my phone. It’s still called Twitter. The bird is still here. I can see everyone’s likes. It’s fun.
Hey Genius @elonmusk , If I didn’t want people to know that I like something I wouldn’t have liked it in the first place. I don’t need to hide anything.
Now that twitter likes are private, there’s a man who is currently scrolling through my media tab and liking every boob selfie. He just reached 2021. Huge day for him.
RIP to one of the great moments on this website
This week we’re making Likes private for everyone to better protect your privacy. – You will still be able to see posts you have liked (but others cannot). – Like count and other metrics for your own posts will still show up under notifications. – You will no longer see who
excited for next month when the “hide likes” feature breaks for 11 hours and dozens of politicians have to navigate public apologies / divorces
finally posting this for you freaks now that likes are private
We on that front leg rn
Twitter 2006 - 2024
Big fan of people typing "liked" under tweets signifying they liked the tweet, funniest outcome of this update
Holy fucking shit
You… you know
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
June 13
what the pope drinks while he listens to brat
we off the
he's just like me
It’s bring your felon to work day.
that people think Donald Trump is younger in a meaningful way than Joe Biden is fucking crazy
Jake Paul on why he prefers Trump over Biden: "I look at it like this: If you were starting a company, would you want an 80-something year-old CEO? No. You would want the younger version" thr.cm/GLJnLNf
santa claus ass tweet
boy dinner
mavs 0-3 since they took away luka’s beer
"The actors don't have encylcopedic knowledge of the franchise! Oh noooo!" Harrison Ford:
The cast for new Star Wars series The Acolyte don’t even know the plot of the original Star Wars franchise Here Charlie Barnett twice claims that Anakin Skywalker blew up the Death Star
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
This is a typo right?????????? What do you mean you're paying humans $2.95 and hour?????
Waffle House has announced pay raises for all employees after a year-long strike. The new base pay will be $5.25 for all locations by June 2026. Some employees were making $2.95 an hour.
Tweet not found
The embedded tweet could not be found…
this would be my last straw with the internet and i’m so serious
YouTube rewatch the ad if you look away
“I wanted to show that nature can still beat the machine and that there is still merit in real work from real creatives."
Love it.
The world desperately needs Americans to stop getting on planes and treating themselves to other countries like they’re Instagram snacks. The oceans are boiling and there are no adults in any rooms.
Believe Women
My grandma (99, dementia) was at a trivia night in her memory care unit and they asked “Who shot JFK?” and she said “I did.”
