August 18
I sent youse two to whack that freakin' guy and instead youse screwed it up like a couple of pic.twitter.com/njabNwIPO3
— DC Pierson (@DCpierson) August 18, 2018
August 19
Boy in the pub was telling me his job is a penguin erector so every time a plane flys over Edinburgh zoo the penguins can't take their eyes off it and end up falling over n he just goes round picking them back up, 38 penguins 2000 flights a day
— SKH (@shalaylaa) August 19, 2018
August 20
Sad to see that breast-based eatery, Hooters, is going out of business, and I fear it bodes poorly for my cafe, Lady Buttholes.
— Wendy Molyneux (@WendyMolyneux) August 21, 2018
August 21
CNN: Michael Cohen to plead guilty.
— Diane N. Sevenay (@Diane_7A) August 21, 2018
ABC: Michael Cohen to plead guilty.
NBC: Michael Cohen to plead guilty.
FOX News: pic.twitter.com/JR4uAnyCQn
You don't have to smoke weed to have your mind blown scrolling through doll house miniatures on the Internet.
— Neko Case (@NekoCase) August 21, 2018
Me watching the Manafort and Cohen news pic.twitter.com/PU3tacogHF
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) August 21, 2018
The idea of Trump staring at his phone trying to figure out what to tweet right now is so funny to me
— Whitney Cummings (@WhitneyCummings) August 22, 2018
August 22
If anyone is looking for a good lawyer, I would strongly suggest that you don't retain the services of Michael Cohen!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 22, 2018
PET 👏 RABBIT 👏 AIRLINE 👏 TICKET 👏 pic.twitter.com/SKzJEcYM8Y
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) August 22, 2018
Such a good tshirt. pic.twitter.com/x6b1oc8Czr
— Matt Whitlock 🇺🇸 (@mattdizwhitlock) August 23, 2018
August 23
Therapist: Your mother is so overprotective she is the cause of your issues connecting to women emotionally
— octopus/caveman (@OctopusCaveman) August 23, 2018
Me: Well yo mama so stupid she tried to climb Mountain Dew
me after not being online for 39 hours: i'm back baby
— patch adams 3 spec script (@nordicshrew) August 23, 2018
the people online: ah... he's back. good
imagine the only decent thing you did as president a Kardashian had to talk you into doing
— Matt Oswalt (@MattOswaltVA) August 23, 2018
"Mr. Pecker does not appreciate all the childish jokes about his name." - AMI spokesperson Fanny Goblincock
— Michael McKean (@MJMcKean) August 23, 2018
August 24
Another actor ruined by drugs and alcohol. pic.twitter.com/qQxT0vlkcX
— You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) August 24, 2018
