Name something that’s forever funny no matter how many times it’s repeated.
a white noise machine? you mean your boyfriend lol.
Name something that’s forever funny no matter how many times it’s repeated.
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Name something that’s forever funny no matter how many times it’s repeated.
Slightly unfair but still the best TV Guide Movie Review of all time.
don’t raise theater kids, raise crew kids who can hang with the theater kids but don’t need the attention
this is what it's all about
It’s crazy we’ve turned Everest into a DMV line at altitude for really rich people
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A diagrammatic explanation on how the two party political system works:
I've seen miles of train graffiti but I've never seen anything like this..
Happy yacht sinking season to orcas and to all who celebrate. 🙏🏾
I'm so happy for him this was caught on camera loooooool
Yer da has a touch like Zidane
I went to the Apple Store to buy new headphones n realized I forgot my credit card in my other purse and I asked the clerk if they took Apple Pay n he looked at me and said what do u think
Millie Bobby Brown married Bon Jovi’s son and is now Millie Bobby Brown Bon Jovi which is the sickest 80s name I’ve ever heard.
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the only right answer
Who are 2 people that actually did match each others freak?
Name something that’s forever funny no matter how many times it’s repeated.
Big Tech is almost over we’re almost free
May 25
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yeah sure why not. whatever
Conspiracy Theory: Kate Middleton is dead, and her blood was used to paint this👇🏻
The microplastics in my balls
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There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal
This how Kevin McCallister was controlling them cardboard cutouts in Home Alone
Trump dancing at the Bronx rally. pic.x.com/HLzOxyBINd
gotta be up there
See how he backed down when a man stepped in? Fighting grown men was never part of his training.
"I'm an IDF soldier..." An Israeli soldier is forced to back down after attempting to intimidate people at a London tube station. pic.x.com/LxGvoVIHLD
boyfriend just referred to gwyneth paltrow as the aaron rodgers of women. his mind
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Sterling is sick of her shit 😂
Just wait. He's possibly in the last week of his life where he won't have the the official title of "Convicted Felon." 🤞
This might be the most humiliating night of Donald Trump’s life. This is a disaster for his campaign. pic.x.com/QXJ5qNREch
No on? Step snek!
Who says shame is dead? This is a Tesla.
May 26
This is Lin-Manuel Miranda’s fault
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the inventor of envelopes was such a freak. what do you mean i have to lick it
in the cellar. straight up "decanting it". and by "it", haha, well. let's justr say. My pinot
we simply must stan
We just need to invent a straw that lasts a little bit longer than 4 seconds but still less than a million years
Luka did the same thing Ant did to Bo Cruz 😭💀
Whenever a recipe is like, “Strain through a cheese cloth,” it’s like, oh okay yeah I’ll just strain it through a cheesecloth. Get the fuck out of here.
Multiversus character reveal trailers be like:
This is one of my favorite graphs
This is one of the all time greats
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I think there's an argument for this being the greatest tweet of all time
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this one makes me cry
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Forever
When I sneeze, I often think of this
crucial
I literally say “but they very much did kill Jesus” like 15x a week
Every time I see a bee, I murmur, “You know I got an assortment”
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i will be taking no comments
May 27
happy memorial day
RIP to the legend, Bill Walton
Hall of Fame center Bill Walton has died of cancer, the NBA announced. He was 71.
I love this Bill Walton story about the Celtics seeing the Dead for the first time:
RIP to Bill Walton, who celebrated the 1986 championship by staying up all night alone in Larry Bird’s kitchen getting hammered.
Dallas airport has a Kyrie poster next to a picture of a globe, amazing work by someone in the art department
Oh, we’re playing “favorite tweets of all time”? . . .
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cant believe i havent seen this one posted yet
This one is load-bearing to me
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This is the single worst animal fight I’ve ever seen bro lmaooooooooooooo
shockingly underrated interaction
![Screenshot of 1/14/22 twitter interaction between Ones Bitten Twice Shy (@sabatonfan69) and Motivational Pictures With Reality Deep Meaning (@doulbedoink)
@sabatonfan69: The twink that fought back [7 replies, 1 RT, 68 likes]
@doulbedoink: Link [1 reply, 10 likes]
@sabatonfan69: Dm [1 reply, 10 likes]
@doulbedoink: No like, the green tunic guy. He saves Zelda [1 reply, 14 likes]
@sabatonfan69: Word don't check dm [10:24pm, 3 replies, 5 RTs, 31 likes, 4 bookmarks]](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GOnp61wXcAAdDLo?format=jpg&name=small)
what's the funniest moment on live TV you've ever seen😭
he's insane do you guys hear me insane holding on to that high of a note with no change no prior warm up he's INSANE
credit to romania for being the only country with government programs to support a fatter-assed citizenry
In Cluj, Romania, you can pay for your bus ticket by doing 20 squats. Disabled and elderly people get to ride for free.
they’re kissing in there i just know it
The Reds have a new home run celebration that they do in the team tunnel away from cameras pic.x.com/gzBp3M7r0w
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Imagine if it’s Dune 2
David Lynch teases “something is coming along for you to see & hear” on June 5
what antidepressants are yall on
May 28
Name something that’s forever funny no matter how many times it’s repeated.
Oh my God.
Mavs intentionally extending the series so Luka can’t have 9 days off and gain 15 pounds, chess not checkers
LMFAOOOOO
KAT’s cry face is hilarious. He be like papito plz I no foul
Draymond Green has made the best pregame show in sports borderline unwatchable within a week.
straight up björking it
i’m so sorry I don’t wanna live in a country where kids aren’t allowed to bedazzle their bald principal’s head at the end of the school year
Should this principal get fired as well? 🤔 pic.x.com/BzbrmQMjmc
Really good Facebook group
I feel like there’s a collective “I don’t want to do this anymore” happening on so many levels.
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I will never forgive Adobe for trying to make you spend $30 a month to try to edit a fucking PDF.
Attention @Boeing I have just discovered that Benjamin Netanyahu has been telling people that your planes suck
He's not Elmer Fudd. Yes, he said "we're White."
Did Eric just say he’s confident they are going to win because they’re white? 🎥 @ScooterCasterNY
No animal in history has deserved to be eaten more than this dumbass fish
This Snapping turtle is fishing Fixed to its tongue is an appendage that moves like a worm, luring curious fishes close x.com/visualfeastwan…
Ty Cobb in Hell:
BREAKING: Negro Leagues statistics will officially be integrated into MLB database on Wednesday. Negro Leagues legend Josh Gibson will become MLB record holder in multiple categories. Story to come for @YahooSports on a monumental day in baseball’s history.
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May 29
Boy yeah as a millennial I can’t imagine what it must have been like to see something explode on national tv like this
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The correct answer is this
what's the funniest moment on live TV you've ever seen😭
i think crocs and doc marten should collab and put out a limited edition croc marten but what do i know about capitalism.
Y’all ever looked up Precious Achiuwa’s siblings? 🥹
Big day for people with unnecessary extra letters in their surnames
Kristen Wiig and Jon Hamm are reuniting for Variety’s Actors On Actors.
“Crack and Field”
#ONpoli #TOpoli "The Crack Track"
English teachers reading the title:
First trailer for Jon Watts’ ‘WOLFS’, starring Brad Pitt and George Clooney. In theaters on September 20. pic.x.com/JqCPKv9mcC
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For example, you could just marry a billionaire's daughter.
You don’t have to go to university to succeed in life.
every “unschooling” post i’ve seen on this website has been this scene from always sunny
A very common thing is parents forgetting to teach their kids to read
This is fucking hilarious
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IM LITERALLY SCREAMING 💀
"Come on bro, sit on me. Just sit on me bro, it'll be normal. I'm just a normal chair bro, please... I need to... feel you" - this chair
What on earth is this photo choice
Minnesota man killed pregnant sister and dismembered her, cops say independent.co.uk/news/world/ame…
I thought the tv show The Bear took place in the kitchen of an upscale restaurant but apparently it takes place at the some random sandwich shop in Chicago. Why is that guy always getting so mad then it’s not that serious
May 30
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Think it's easy to say Jerry Seinfeld was never funny and didn't contribute anything to his show but he was funny and also good on Seinfeld, he just got way less funny and more annoying since then. That happens
I’ll always love this joke.
And in music news, number one on the college charts this summer was Better Than Ezra. And, at number two? Ezra.
Your periodic reminder that “red tape” is shorthand for “regulation”, and it can often be necessary and even lifesaving.
[deep breath] ahhhhhhhahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
I hope this sparks a bold new trend of other FX shows being aired on FX
EXCLUSIVE: For the first time, FX's “The Bear” will air on FX. The hit series, which streams on Hulu, will air its first season on the cable network with a special marathon beginning on Sunday, June 2. wp.me/pc8uak-1lEcXC
Imagine being a candidate for President and having it confirmed that you said the N word being the secord worst thing that happened to you in a day.
oh my god it was literally 34 crimes
while i’m not a fan of donald trump, it is chilling to realize that this could happen to any one of us after livetweeting 34 consecutive crimes
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Guilty of 34 felonies. Found liable for sexual assault. Banned from doing business in New York. Tried to overturn an election to illegally seize power. Incited a violent attack on the US Capitol. And still supported completely—without reservation—by the Republican Party.
While it might be easy to mock Maga assholes for their anger in this moment, take some time to remember that that anger is actually coming from a place of profound weakness, and we should be sure to mock them for that too.
Even the Juror who loves Truth Social was like yeah gulity as shit
A corpse vs a felon vs a guy with brain worms. Greatest system on earth
Devastating verdict for Joe Biden (will now lose to a convicted felon).
CNN moderator: "What would you-" Biden: Foaming at the mouth after a bad reaction to his vyvanse cocktail Trump: Zoom call from prison lagging RFK JR: "I actually know a lot of pedophiles. I mean not closely. Just by name. Well I have their cell phone numbers too!"
CNN: Trump guilty NBC: Trump guilty ABC: Trump guilty FOX:
Damn. I just looked it up in my America book. If you get convicted of 35 things, you can't be President. 35, turns out. So close!
but literally is anything gonna happen
So he can no longer vote for president but can still be one. Cool country
Just to recap: Donald Trump is a felon He joins his campaign manager, deputy campaign manager, national security advisor, foreign policy advisor, political consultant, and personal lawyer as felons.
babe wake up, new unprecedented times
this is why you don't leave the cursed website,this is the moment for the ones with real fortitude
Look at all of you quitters crawling back to Twitter to celebrate. Some of us have been here the entire time rotting away in Elon's hellscape and you think you can just log on for a quick sec whenever New York does something cool like an earthquake or 34 guilty Trump verdits?
Very unfair to try Donald Trump in the city where he lived most of his life, where his name is on several buildings, where he made his fortune, where his TV show was set and where the charged crimes were committed
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what’s the funniest possible outcome of this? imo cyanide capsule
Trump has only ever been fun two times. Today and that day when we thought he might die of COVID.
Just getting the place ready for the jury’s verdict being delivered 😜
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Abraham Lincoln and now Stormy Daniels. 2 porn stars who, when history called, stepped up to save America.
Today was the day Donald trump finally became president
Convicted felon Donald Trump #Verdict #TrumpTrial
I sincerely hope Trump does actual jail time not because I give a shit but only so that his best and brightest supporters try and do a jailbreak you know that shit would be hilarious
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Breaking - after Trump's GUILTY verdict, Samuel Alito's wife turned their whole house upside down
Both hosts of The Apprentice are now convicted felons.
sorry I can't hang out - I have to keep refreshing twitter so I don't miss any good jokes
