Doogal

This may be one of the worst films of all time. Even more tragic is that in its rampant terribleness there is no humour to be found, as there often is in genuinely bad cinema. No, this is just boring, painful, and so, so bad. A computer animated "adventure” for children who think that Checkers is too exhilarating and need a way to slow their heart rate, Doogal looks half-decent. The problems begin when the characters open their mouths and the entirely wrong voices come out. The fact that the big, shaggy dog main character sounds like a six-year-old girl is the first clue that something is amiss, and despite some hefty talent (Judi Dench, Chevy Chase, Whoopi Goldberg) almost everything about the voiceovers in this movie reeks of wrong-ness. Even sadder is the absolute waste of Kevin Smith and Jon Stewart, who should both know better than to be wasting their time as a flatulent moose and spring with icicle-shooting eyebrows, respectively. I can’t even imagine an infant being able to stomach this, and without a bone being thrown to bored-to-tears parents, I doubt even an infant will be given the opportunity to rally against its useless sentimentality and stupidity. The disc also includes a "making of” featurette, but, really, who cares? (Alliance Atlantis)