August 12
Time for the weekend again
When you see your boss at the bar at 2pm on a Friday after you both said you were working from home
Damn IT.
The FBI just revealed what they found in Trump’s safe…
godspeed on your mission ms. frizzle
“Holy Christ, I just swallowed a bee” - @fordnation Kudos to the premier cause he handled this pretty damn well lol. #onpoli x.com/LeftHandStu/st…
Ontario family in shock after son dies protesting healthcare privatisation
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Sneaky Rascal!
Lauren Boebert deleting her texts from January 6th.
nathan fielder defending a 6 year olds "dr fart - eat my poop" skit by saying "he was riffing it" is the best part of the rehearsal
August 13
I’m not saying this clock the wife got from Kmart is shit, but the alarm didn’t go off this morning and the time is now 9:77
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my gf puts this on me when she leaves so i cant eat an ice cream cone
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Can’t stop thinking about this tweet
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August 14
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Another current media trend I'd have never predicted: Lots of people watching with the captions on because sound mixing is so shitty that you can't tell what people are saying, and instead of studios adjusting the audio, audiences gave up and started reading their shows instead.
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A hierarchy of alienness: Pictures of animals from least to most related to you. Least-related animal: Sponges. You and sponges are both animals. That's basically all you've got in common.
Liz Cheney's Trump-backed primary opponent is actually all five Kids in the Hall members playing the same character
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Fun fact: did you know that after every hour of work at amazon the computer taunts you with a 30 second break where you say mantras that help you come to peace with your own exploitation?
Every day in America since 2016:
August 15
a 10/10 album is when a guy who cant sing good is sad
I have no words.
bought a second hand kindle from the pawn shop and would love to get in touch with the previous owner to discuss their interests 👍
when younger generations can’t afford cable so they mooch off their parents’ logins & definitely mess up network data
The CW will shift its demographic focus to better reflect the age of their average viewer, 58 years old, following the network’s acquisition by Nexstar Media Group. CFO Lee Ann Gliha says their goal is to make the network profitable by 2025. 🔗: deadline.com/2022/08/the-cw…
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they will write about her in history books
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We repeatedly told @DrOz that we had pre-made veggie trays..excuse me “Crudité”…in the deli starting at $5.99. $7.99 with guacamole and salsa. Vote @JohnFetterman!
Fun fact: The Lighthouse (2019) had to be shot in black and white because Robert Pattinson looked like Mario in color.
August 16
Happy anniversary to the discovery of the best show that never was...
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Inside you, there are two wolves. Inside Mozart there were like eleven or twelve, that's why they called him Wolfgang.
This is Truffles; she works at a children’s optometrist to help them feel better about wearing glasses.
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we lose the CNE for one year and this is what they come back with. close it back down
obsessed with the kids who made the finals of the USA Mullet Championships and their absolutely fucked up names
I need to know more
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megan thee stallion pushing gandalf from lord of the rings
August 17
Taylor Lautner reveals that his fiancée Taylor Dome will take his last name and also be named Taylor Lautner.
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Elon Musk went to Kevin McCarthy’s Party last night in Wyoming—to celebrate Liz Cheney’s loss. While speaking at the MAGA party, Musk asked everyone to deny that he was there. Musk made sure that no press was allowed anywhere near the property—then people started posting selfies
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I cannot believe this campaign is real.
Dr. Oz claimed he has only two houses. Survey says....
August 18
Its all going really well in the UK at the moment
this looks 🔥
Extra! Extra! Donald Trump says Ted Cruz’s dad killed JFK!
Seth Rogen rules
Azaelia Banks saying that gay men appropriate horse culture by wearing harnesses and injecting ketamine is the funniest thing anybody has ever said ever
Problematic philosophers and their crimes - a thread
Be the chaos you wish to see in the world:
