For some reason, there's something so visceral about the name Jelly Roll. Maybe that's apt for an artist who feels more like an experience than a person, but instead of giving me any desire to listen to him, it makes me miss those jelly-filled Timbits that Tim Hortons discontinued.
Today, I've finally shed my ignorance by hearing a Jelly Roll song for the first time at the behest of our Managing Editor. It came in the form of his feature on OneRepublic's latest stomp-clap-hey! attempt "Hurt," which instantly transported me to a megachurch.
It's another addition to the white-rapper-goes-country slop pile the past few years have unkindly bestowed on us, and yet some people are still surprised about the rise of conservatism in North America. It doesn't help that OneRepublic is the United States' answer to Coldplay — a pop/rock group helmed by a talented songwriter who has only put out garbage over the last 10 years, but still somehow garners billions of streams. Capitalism really popped off today!
At least the track is so sterile that if a girl wearing a carabiner and cuffed jeans plays it for you, you'll be certain she runs a youth group and isn't, in fact, gay and hitting on you. Listen to it below.