Sharktopus

IMDB is truly a boon for the film scholar, and as exhibit A, I point to the "Goofs" page for Sharktopus, the new collaboration between the most trusted names in entertainment: Roger Corman and the SyFy Channel. Among Sharktopus's many factual errors, according to IMDb: "The Sharktopus makes numerous noises, including roars and squealing. Sharks have no organs for producing sound, and only one (the Draughtsboard Shark from New Zealand) is known to be capable of producing any sort of sound." Damning, I know, but that's just the tip of the iceberg: "Octopi use their tentacles for grabbing, not stabbing with non-existent, spear-like points"; "The Sharktopus has the gills of a shark, and the exposition does not indicate that any changes were made to allow it to breathe air; however, by the end of the movie, the Sharktopus is spending as much time out of the water as in." And, my personal favourite, "The Sharktopus has tentacles in place of a shark's tail fin. An octopus swims using a siphon under its head, not with its tentacles (which are for crawling on the ocean floor). The Sharktopus therefore lacks a means of propulsion through the water." Let this be a warning: you might want to think twice about giving your hard-earned entertainment dollars to any film with such imperfect Sharktopus science. Of course, there are certain other flaws in Sharktopus, a digital video effort boasting production values a few notches above Birdemic: Shock and Terror, but not quite up to Plan 9 from Outer Space. The acting is stiff, the characters are broad archetypes, the special effects are beyond atrocious and the editing is custom-designed to conceal the shoddy effects at key moments, etcetera, etcetera, ad infinitum, all of which you already know. The relevant question is: is this a good bad movie? Well, the titular Sharktopus kills many supporting characters in many goofy ways (highlight: the bungee jumping scene), there's plenty of digital blood and the performers are truly awful (save for Eric Roberts, the only cast member who can deliver a line with seeming to be "acting"), so there are some cheap giggles to be had. However, it's worth considering that for producer Roger Corman, this sort of thing is just another day at the office (recent credits: Dinocroc; Supergator; Dinoshark; Dinocroc vs. Supergator). He's a man who hasn't produced anything of any value in 25 years and isn't too interested in trying again. For everyone else, a movie with the word "Sharktopus" in the title must have seemed like little more than an easy paycheque, and that's a shame, because I daresay they missed a real opportunity. A half-shark, half-octopus is such an absurdly wonderful idea for a monster that I really wish he had found himself in a better movie. The only DVD extra is a trailer.