In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale

The Bollmeister is back with Dungeon Siege, another bizarre Dadaist videogame adaptation sure to be the centre of future drinking games and Mystery Science Theatre 3000 criticism. In the film, a battle is brewing between good and evil. The cackling villain Gallian (Ray Liotta) seeks the power and influence of King Konreid (Burt Reynolds), who is aided by the power of good magus Merick (John Rhys-Davies). Gallian’s master plan involves banging Merick’s comely daughter Muriella (Leelee Sobieski) and making puppets of many minions who ransack the countryside in his name. A particularly brutal village slaughter leaves Farmer (Jason Statham) with one less son and a kidnapped wife (Claire Forlani). Accompanied by his strapping brother-in-law Bastian (Will Sanderson) and mentor Norick (Ron Perlman), Farmer sets out to find his wife and avenge his son’s death. Ameliorating the predictable storyline is some occasionally inspired production design, however there isn’t a great deal of good going on beyond this. It’s a peculiar patchwork of misguided performances, amusing dialogue and incomplete coverage that must have driven the editor insane. Within single scenes of the film there are high shots, low shots, candid angles, jump-cuts, handheld shots, still tracking shots and zooms, none of which fit together cohesively, leaving the viewer disengaged and occasionally confused. In addition, one can only wonder if the actors were asked to step on each other’s lines and if the abrasive score was added after the fact to help the audience know what was going on. It’s really something that needs to be seen to be believed, acting as kind of a Showgirls without all of the vagina. The two-disc DVD features a depressing "Making of” featurette where actors talk about profound characterisations sure to cater to the thinking crowd, as well as some deleted and extended scenes, and a digital iPod version of the film.