In the Name of the King II

In the brief behind-the-scenes featurette included with Uwe Boll's sequel to the laughably awkward and mostly incoherent flop, In the Name of the King, he, along with star Dolph Lundgren, discusses his approach to direction, wherein shots are set up quickly and very few takes are filmed. He suggests that this haphazard, cheap and amateurish tactic adds an element of authenticity to the film, giving it added vitality and a greater sense of urgency. And while this misguided delusion and youthful pep are essentially the calling cards for Boll – a man who responds to constructive criticism defensively and with hostility, challenging critics to such arbitrary acts as boxing – it doesn't help the jaw-dropping badness of the final product go down any easier. This time out, the plot involves some sort of ersatz prophecy where a hero from the future (Lundgren) would be brought back in time to protect a kingdom, or cheap fibreglass hut in a park, from an evil King (Lochlyn Munro) looking for world domination. There's some witchcraft involved, as well as a comely healer (Natassia Malthe), but never once do they mention why they would pull Lundgren out of the future in his lumbering mid-50s rather than getting him in his physical prime. But, on the upside, the storyline is clear enough that In the Name of the King II actually works as a rudimentary narrative, unlike its predecessor. It's just unfortunate that it's written with all the grace of softcore porn, relying on bad jokes about historical differences – "you mean, in the time beyond you can reattach a man's severed arm?" – and clumsy syntax structured specifically to point out that people living in dirt huts never ended a sentence with a preposition. Since the aesthetic is basically point-and-shoot tedium with no consideration for structure, theme, tone or continuity, the responsibility lies on the actors to convey some sort of humanity despite being accidentally shot from the shoulders down during monologues and having nothing but stilted exposition to work with. Unfortunately, the actors are Dolph Lundgren and Natassia Malthe, who seem more concerned with memorizing dialogue than portraying actual characters or emitting human emotion, which is probably for the best.