Herbie: Fully Loaded

Someday, I want to meet the writers of Herbie: Fully Loaded; maybe then I'll learn the secret to how a young girl's self-esteem can be boosted by doing almost nothing behind the wheel of a sentient VW beetle. Sure, Lindsay Lohan wants to be a race car driver against father Michael Keaton's best wishes, and she wants to succeed in a male dominated field, but the thing is, she doesn't really do it. Herbie, returning Love Bug Supreme, performs the heavy lifting in that department, and though there's a lot of huffing and puffing over the meanness of an arrogant champ (Matt Dillon), the fact remains that all of Lohan's victories are completely hollow. This doesn't exactly make the movie painful to watch (everything's pleasingly candy-coloured and largely inoffensive) but you have to be fully loaded on Wild Turkey or mushrooms to grasp the subtleties of its completely whacked-out emotional logic. Granted, its target audience of kids is not terribly concerned with such niceties, and I'm sure there are undiscerning grown-ups who will simply be happy to have the Love Bug back. But if you want to watch it without a representative of these constituencies, you have to suspend disbelief as high above your head as possible and not be surprised when it comes crashing down. Extras include a not terribly revelatory director's commentary, seven deleted scenes with optional director's commentary, an alternate credit sequence, again with optional commentary, three commentary-free "making of" featurettes that are clearly aimed at the under-13s, a blooper reel and a video for Lohan's "First," with the superstar decked out in decidedly un-Disney retro-tramp outfits. (Disney/Buena Vista)