Noel Gallagher Calls Matty Healy a "Slack-Jawed Fuckwit" for Demanding an Oasis Reunion

"He needs to go over how shit his band is and split up"

BY Kaelen BellPublished May 25, 2023

There's been a whole bunch of rumours flying in the past few weeks about a potential Oasis reunion — over the past weekend, British tabloid The Sun proclaimed that an Oasis reunion was supposedly in the works, with the Gallagher brothers allegedly planning to bury the hatchet. Any subsequent hopes that Oasis fans might've had were swiftly torpedoed into the ground yesterday when the brothers started beefing in the wake of the rumours — Noel called Liam "a coward" on talkSport radio, after which Liam called Noel a bellend on Twitter. 

Turns out shots are being fired in other directions too, as Noel Gallagher called 1975 frontman Matty Healy — who is currently responsible for a standom-wide freakout from the Swifties — a "fuckwit" for his comments about a potential Oasis reunion from a few months back. 

In a new interview with Spin, Gallagher was asked about Healy's February comments, in which he called on the brothers to "stop marding" and get back together. For the non-British among us, "marding" allegedly means "having a tantrum" or "being difficult." 

Noel apparently hadn't heard about Healy's comments at the time, and his response was expectedly Gallagher-esque: "Oh, that fucking slack-jawed fuckwit. What did he say?" Upon learning what Healy said, Noel continues: "He would never be able to imagine [Oasis remaining broken up]. He needs to go over how shit his band is and split up."

Noel went on to explain why he thinks nobody needs an Oasis reunion and why he's not planning any commemorative anniversary shows:

If Oasis hadn't fulfilled its potential, I might have a different attitude towards it. But as Oasis did everything it set out to do and more. I don't see the point. It was a moment in time and if you missed it, tough shit. I missed the Sex Pistols, and I've managed to get over that. So people should get over it.

Gallagher was also asked about the partially AI-generated fake Oasis album that was released last month under the name AISIS — which his brother seemed relatively stoked on — and Harry Styles managed to catch a couple strays too. 

Fucking embarrassing. I just think people clearly have too much time and money on their hands if they're fucking around with that for a laugh. I mean, who wants to fucking hear Ringo Starr singing "She's Electric" and Freddie Mercury singing "Don't Look Back in Anger"? Life's too short for that shit…

AI will be the final nail in the coffin of music. I'm sure that the major record labels are now working on the technology to copyright it and machines will write music. Why hire a songwriter when you can own a machine to do it? Then Harry Styles can pump out Harry Styles music for the rest of his fucking life.

You can read the full Spin interview here

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