Mike Patton

The Exclaim! Questionnaire

BY None NonePublished Apr 1, 2005

What are you up to?
I'm touring the world with Fantômas [Montreal April 14, Toronto April 15]. The new record, Suspended Animation, comes out in April. [Ipecac] just released General Patton vs. the X-ecutioners and a collaboration with Norway's Kaada called Romances. I'm also working on scoring a videogame and a movie, and I'm still working on my mega-project, Peeping Tom. But besides that, just kicking it.

What are your current fixations?
NBA basketball and food.

Why do you live where you do?
Have you ever been to San Francisco?

Name something you consider a mind-altering work of art:
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.

What has been your most memorable or inspirational gig?
I saw G.G. Allin live once.

What have been your career highs and lows?
The career high would be putting out a Kids of Widney High CD on my label, Ipecac Recordings. The low, besides these questionnaire things, would be the Lakers trading Shaq to the Miami Heat. It changed the course of my career.

What's the meanest thing ever said to you before, during or after a gig?
Buzz (Fantômas, Melvins) once told me he thought my outfit was ugly while we were taking the stage in Des Moines, Iowa.

What should everyone shut up about?
Bright Eyes.

What traits do you most like and most dislike about yourself?
I like the cut of my gib. I dislike the way I move.

What advice should you have taken, but did not?

What would make you kick someone out of your band and/or bed, and have you?
Anyone that would eat crackers on stage or in bed. Why do you think Faith No More broke up?

What do you think of when you think of Canada?
Those two morons in ski caps that say "eh" all the time. Bob and Doug or Tom McKenzie or whatever.

What is your vital daily ritual?
Pilates and gnat faeces.

What are your feelings on piracy, internet or otherwise?
I think Johnny Depp nailed it in that movie. Not sure why they have to make a sequel but I do love pirates. In the movies, in books, on the internet, I long for the days of yore and pirating. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

What was your most memorable day job?
A fluffer on a movie set.

How do you spoil yourself?
I bathe in ostrich milk.

If I wasn't playing music I would be?
A lot better off than I am now.

What do you fear most?
Getting these questionnaires from my hot publicist.

What makes you want to take it off and get it on?
If I get sweaty I like to take it off, but once it gets chilly I want to put it on.

What has been your strangest celebrity encounter?
I was chastised by Axl Rose. Is he still a celebrity?

What does your mom wish you were doing instead?
Living at home.

Who would be your ideal dinner guest, living or dead, and what would you serve them?
What did you say your name was again? Ever tasted a shit sandwich?

Given the opportunity to choose, how would you like to die?
Doing the thing I love most in life… mowing my lawn.

I'm surprised that anyone cares about what I do," says Mike Patton on the mainstream attention garnered by Fantômas, his super-group that includes the Melvins' Buzz Osbourne, Slayer's Dave Lombardo and Mr. Bungle alum Trevor Dunn, especially for their last and most alienating release, the one-track, hour-plus audio death rattle that is Delìrium Còrdia. "Trust me, those in the mainstream couldn't care less about pushing boundaries or about any pushing at all." Of course, getting coverage in Rolling Stone and selling records has never mattered to the musical genius (some would argue madman) known as Mike Patton. Achieving fame (remember "Epic"?) and infamy (remember "the shit terrorist"?) at a young age with Faith No More many, many moons ago, and initially pushing the realms of good taste, then creativity with Mr. Bungle, Patton's musical cannon has established the man as a tireless musical innovator and the closest equivalent to a modern day Frank Zappa. But of course, even good old Frank never terrorised or toyed with audiences and their expectations the way Mike has. But with Fantômas' latest record, Suspended Animation, a return to the frantic jump-cut musical schizophrenia of their early releases, sprinkled with liberal amounts of cartoon sound effects and snippets of children's songs, he's not just making "music for Mike" anymore. "I do almost everything for myself," says Patton. "But I did this one for the kids."
Chris Gramlich

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