In a music market dominated by solo pop artists, Coldplay are the biggest band in the world, and it's not even close. At least nominally, they're a scare-quotes "rock" band who play guitar, bass and drums, making them the standard bearers for a style that used to dominate the charts.
The irony of Coldplay's dominance is that, according to many of their fans (including ones here at Exclaim!), they haven't released a good album in many years, making them more of a nostalgia act than proof of the continued popularity of rock bands.
Today, Coldplay released their 10th album, Moon Music, once again teaming with mega-hitmaker Max Martin (who they worked with on 2021's Music of the Spheres). As Exclaim! staffers listened to the album this morning, Social Editor Sydney Brasil, Managing Editor Allie Gregory, Editor-in-Chief Alex Hudson and Associate Online Editor Megan LaPierre shared their thoughts in a group chat, weighing in on the album's mall changing room music, successful Jon Hopkins collaborations and clunky attempts at inspirational messaging.
Sydney Had a Coldplay Blog
Alex: What is our relationship with Coldplay — and specifically more recent Coldplay? At one point did you stop consistently enjoying their albums?
Sydney: I guess this is where I out myself for having had a Coldplay Tumblr lol
Allie: I think I will elect myself a new Coldplay virgin. I haven't listened since X&Y. First two albums were life-defining for me tho. Cringe.
Sydney: Coldplay were my favourite band in the world when I was like 13, so I'll always have a soft spot for them. I think they have some great songs but more bad songs than that lol. I still quite like Parachutes, A Rush of Blood to the Head and Viva la Vida for the most part, but I also have a higher Coldplay pain tolerance than most.
Alex: I absolutely loved those first two albums. But the year 2005 was very confusing for me. All of my favourite high school bands released new albums that summer — Weezer, Dave Matthews Band, Coldplay, the White Stripes — and they were all pretty disappointing. X&Y was a huge drop-off. Viva La Vida won me back, and pretty much everything since then has been forgettable or outright bad.
Sydney: Yeah. I agree. Very forgettable stuff after Viva. Only a few songs on the following five or six albums I still enjoy. By which I mean maybe three or four songs across the six albums.
Allie: From what I gather outside of participating in their new material is that they make ~coexist~ music now.
Alex: Mylo Xyloto (which is simply not worth me checking if I'm spelling it right) was forgettable. Ghost Stories was where they flipped into garbage music for me.
Sydney: Tale as old as time: the divorce record ends it all.
Allie: I need them to make "YOU" music, I think. Like, music where there's this never-ending proverbial subject of romance, but yeah, divorce. FIX ME CHRIS MARTIN!
Sydney: "Fix You" is a bad song, so maybe not.
Allie: Wow.
Megan: I, too, love those first two Coldplay albums. Viva la Vida felt like a rebirth after X&Y, where I, too, was won back. This is going to be the hottest take of all: I kind dug Mylo Xyloto? I thought it was a decent transition into a very smooth, modern pop sound. There were some absolute duds, sure, but I agree with Alex — it was Ghost Stories where things really went off the rails.
Alex Hudson: I am going to print out and frame "I agree with Alex."
Sydney: Ghost Stories turned them into the corporate, Imagine Dragons, Maroon 5 mess they are now.
Alex: I think "Fix You" was the beginning of the end, even though they made one more good album after that. It's when they switched into inspirational, motivational speaker music.
Coldplay = The Simpsons
Alex: With all that said, I remain weirdly hopeful they still might make something I connect with. Is Moon Music a course correction at all?
Allie: Hot take: no. This sounds like maternity shop changing room music.
Megan: There's nothing hot about that take, Allie.
Sydney: Only slightly because it's marginally better than Music of the Spheres, but that doesn't say much.
Megan: Maybe it's not the WORST album they've ever made, I guess. Music of the Spheres was even more of an affront to everything.
Sydney: It sounds more like Coldplay than anything over the last decade has, but it's still not it.
Allie: It does sound very Coldplay. Has anyone here seen them live?
Alex: I've seen them a few times, yeah. It actually rules.
Sydney: Twice.
Allie: I bet they're killer live.
Alex: Weirdly, their EDM songs absolutely fucking bang in a station. "The Scientist" was kinda boring, but "Something Just Like This" went hard as fuck.
Megan: I think Alex touched on something key with "Fix You" marking the beginning of Coldplay deciding to make "inspirational" pop music. That's all over Moon Music — these blatant attempts to be anthemic and grand and stirring and spiritual that are so incredibly empty and un-genuine.
Allie: iirc "Fix You" was a sync for like The O.C., which makes sense.
Alex: Their attempts to have a "message" are so heavy-handed. I think "JUPiTER" is the worst piece of trash here. A "love is love" anthem with Jason Mraz-ass acoustic busker guitar. If I saw someone perform that at an open mic in a vegan cafe, I would be embarrassed and focusing really hard on my gluten-free scone.
Megan: FUCK YOU I CAN'T DIGEST GLUTEN!
Sydney: If Coldplay just retired from making music and just kept touring (as Chris Martin threatens every three weeks) I think maybe we'd finally get the soft rock revival in the same way nu metal gained a new appreciation in the last few years. I've said it before but being a fan of Coldplay is like being a fan of The Simpsons: take them out back already so we can appreciate the legacy more.
Jon Hopkins Saves the Day, While Max Martin Blows It
Allie: Why does this rainbow song sound like Sigur Rós?
Alex: I think that's because Jon Hopkins is all over this album, and he's actually good at synthesizer. The synths here sound better than they did on Music of the Spheres, which sounded cheap as hell.
Allie: Pixar Sigur Rós.
Sydney: lol in the same vein, "WE PRAY" is Marvel movie music.
Allie: Why did Little Simz agree to that one?
Sydney: Same with Burna Boy?
Megan: "WE PRAY" wants to be Fort Minor's "Remember the Name" mixed with Kendrick/SZA's Black Panther song so badly.
Alex: Yeah "WE PRAY" is definitely the Black Panther: Spider-Verse theme song (derogatory). But I actually think "AETERNA" is a pretty cool song, and I'm chalking that up to Jon Hopkins. It's an actual fun kinda house-y synthpop song! Jon Hopkins brings a tiny, watered-down bit of the Immunity vibe to "AETERNA" and I'm here for it.
Allie: It's legit danceable.
Sydney: Way less heavy-handed electronic elements than the Avicii production on "A Sky Full of Stars" from Ghost Stories.
Allie: Unfortunately, "AETERNA" bops, but also could be on the Love Is Blind soundtrack too.
Alex: Reality show background music is a whole genre now, and Coldplay definitely fits the mould. And "feelslikeimfallinginlove" is big-time supermarket-core. That song could be playing quietly from a small Logitech speaker in the waiting room of my physiotherapist's office.
Sydney: I feel like "AETERNA" would hit on a certain serotonin-boosting party favour.
Alex: While I enjoy the inclusion of Jon Hopkins, who maybe makes this album JUST SLIGHTLY more highbrow, I have the same question here that I did about Music of the Spheres: what the FUCK is Max Martin getting paid for?: This is the guy who wrote "I Want It That Way" and "It's Gonne Be Me" and "...Baby One More Time." But when he gets together with Coldplay, he forgets how to write a hook.
Sydney: He forgot how to write a hook for Katy Perry on 143 recently too, so.
Alex: He's a co-writer on that rainbow song. Literally what the fuck did he do on that song?
Does Coldplay Have New Fans?
Allie: Listen guys, people clearly love this stuff. That Coldplay tour proves it. What are they hearing?
Sydney: Do you think people are going to the Coldplay shows because they like the new songs? Or just for the old ones and for the production of the shows themselves?
Alex: Looking at their top-streamed songs, it's all old stuff.
Sydney: There are still Coldplay stans on Twitter who are eating this up.
Megan: People are going to Coldplay shows for the old stuff, there's no way they aren't.
Allie: They can't be coasting this long on 2002's output.
Alex: "A Sky Full of Stars" and "Somebody Just Like This" have billions of streams, so evidently, people do love new-ish Coldplay. But I dunno if lots of people are gobbling up "JUPiTER."
Allie. Yet.
Sydney: They have some really rabid fans who DO exist, who follow them around on tour and stuff. I just saw a girl I know from my Coldplay blogging days say Moon Music "was in her top three." She still follows me so I mean no shade. I mean it as proof that some people love the new output.
Allie: TOP THREE?
Alex: if you count Parachutes, A Rush of Blood and Viva la Vida as one album, then I maybe see it.
Megan: Their upbeat songs seem to be going for that when they're not necessarily hellbent on being inspirational. But they are, of course, doing a terrible job at adopting that model.
Allie: "In the end, it's just love." Girl shut up. What kind of platitude is that supposed to be? Come up with something clever at least. We get it. You like the Beatles.
Sydney: That sort of line is what I refer to as Chris Martin bullshit. Vague "love everyone" messaging coming from a vegetarian who walks around barefoot in the Whole Foods parking lot.
Alex: The irony of them doing inspirational music is that they're bad at it. Their biggest song is about being yellow. I don't know why they think we want to hear Maya Angelou clips and "In the end, it's just love."
Megan: They don't have anything to say at all and it's embarrassing!
Allie: I remember when everyone thought Coldplay were going to be the new U2. How does Bono look better in comparison now?
Sydney: U2 son or Coldplay daughter? Choose wisely.
Alex: They actually are U2 — it's just that they skipped ahead to 2010s U2. They are being U2 in real time.
Sydney: Next thing you know they'll be partnering with Apple to force their next album on all of our phones.
Allie: This is all very (Red) era.
2000s Soft Rock Supremacy
Alex: What's your final (for now) assessment of Moon Music? If you had to give it a score out of 10, what would it be?
Allie: It's perfectly fine mall music. So rating it on a scale of 0–10 in the changing room, I'd give it a 6. I would definitely buy leggings with this on in the background. Real world, I will never listen to this again and I will confiscate the aux of anyone who does. 2/10.
Sydney: I'm leaning more towards 5/10. It has some pretty low points but is generally just boring more than anything else.
Megan: I can smell the Auntie Annie's pretzels from here! I struggle to see Old Navy even sinking this low, but I've been surprised before. Moon Music is, in fact, not Coldplay's worst album, so congrats to them for that. Jon Hopkins was a nice touch! I would give it a 5.
Allie: Yeah Jon Hopkins was the one redeeming factor.
Sydney: My big gripe with Coldplay "going pop" is that they were always a pop band but got marketed as "alternative," which led to them becoming so hated in that demographic. The big, lush pop songs like "Clocks" and "Viva la Vida" don't happen anymore, so it's kind of a slap in the face. It didn't have to be this way!
Allie: 2000s soft rock supremacy.
Sydney: Soft rock revival 2025, I'm calling it now. Hey Google, play "Over my Head" by the Fray.
Allie: PLEASE. Snow Patrol 20th anniversary tour.
Alex: I'm with giving it a 5/10 and agree it's not their worst. "AETERNA" is a cool song, I think "GOOD FEELiNGS" is fun, and I think Jon Hopkins earns his paycheque, which I hope was large. But on the flip side, I find songs like "JUPiTER" and the rainbow one insulting to my intelligence. Don't sing "I love who I love" like you invented it.
Allie: Wait was that supposed to be the gay rights song? Nothing has ever been straighter.