Fly Me To The Moon

During its very brief theatrical run last summer, Fly Me to the Moon's trailers and TV ads claimed that it was the first wide-release, feature-length animated film to be projected entirely in 3D. Imagine my disappointment when, opening the DVD case, I discovered 3D glasses of the migraine-inducing red-and-blue variety. Hoo-boy, ever tried to watch a 3D movie with glasses like those on a 13-inch dorm room TV? It's a tough sit. The 3D effects, which are alternately impressive and blurry, are still the greatest assets of this awful, awful children's movie. Set during the 1969 moon landing, Fly Me to the Moon follows three irritating flies that sneak onto the Apollo 11 spacecraft in a rather selfish and misguided search for adventure. The leader of the gang is Nat, one of the blandest animated heroes this side of Don Bluth, joined by I.Q. (so named because, you see, he's brainy) and Scooter, who likes to eat (this is Scooter's one and only personality trait, and his food-driven shenanigans get very tiresome). Meanwhile on Earth, Cold War intrigue abounds when sinister Russian flies try to sabotage the mission. It's almost worth watching just to see the little animated flies dressed in Soviet uniforms. Full of clichéd characters and cornpone dialogue (this movies actually uses the line, "Oh my lord of the flies," twice!), Fly Me to the Moon is a creaky anomaly in this Pixar-dominated age and will be of interest only to the most dim-witted of three-year olds. The Fly Me to the Moon DVD offers the film in both 3D and 2D versions, but the only extra is an astronomy trivia game. Interesting fact: a year on Venus is 225 days. For answering this question correctly, the voiceover assured me that I was "on my way to becoming a star astronomer!"