The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day [Blu-Ray]

In The Boondock Saint II: All Saints Day, a Boston priest is killed and the ensuing firestorm causes a police agent to exclaim, "We are totally fucked! And not just fucked, like elephant dick pounded in the ass, no reach around, jungle fucked!" Later, the agents at the scene are joined by Special Agent Eunice (Julie Benz, apparently channelling a drag queen channelling Mae West), who suggests, "This isn't a 'fuck' situation, is it? I mean, I can understand a 'goddamn' or two, but why skip all the way?" Can't you just see writer/director Troy Duffy writing these lines at his desk, patting himself on the back for his clever vulgarity, thoughts of Quentin Tarantino dancing in his head? The Boondock Saints II is filled with little moments like these: passages of dialogue so lame and self-satisfied they leap beyond ordinary badness into some mad stratosphere. The story begins in Ireland, where brothers Connor and Murphy (Sean Patrick Flannery and Norman Reedus) and their Poppa (Billy Connolly) have been living a monk-like existence full of glowering and pouting since their vaguely Catholicism-inspired Boston killing spree in 1999's cult item The Boondock Saints. News that a copycat murderer has killed the above-mentioned beloved Boston priest inspires the boys to take the first ship west to deliver some righteous ass-kickery. Duffy packs the obscenely long 117-minute running time with a lot of John Woo-style slow-motion gunfights; they're technically competent, but with the most interchangeable duo since Beavis and Butt-head at the centre there's no emotional investment, and all the sound and fury is often thunderously dull. The original Boondock Saints was hardly a classic, but at least it had Willem Dafoe's unhinged central performance as an anchor. Still, you might have some fun with the scenery chewing extended cameos by Judd Nelson and Peter Fonda, the latter playing a character called "the Roman." Oh, yes, he attempts an accent. One thing that bothered me: barely five minutes go by without a character vigorously denying being gay, accusing another character of being gay, using the word "faggot" or making a derogatory reference to anal sex. Considering how lovingly Duffy lingers over the Saints' naked, glistening buttocks in an early shower scene, I'd say I smell a whiff of hypocrisy. Blu-Ray extras include commentary by Duffy, deleted scenes, a self-aggrandizing documentary, and an entertaining interview between Duffy and Billy Connelly.