Bride Wars

Early on in Bride Wars, a character states: "You don't alter a Vera Wang to fit you; you alter yourself for a Vera Wang." If this vulgar sentiment wasn't enough on its own, the DVD's sole supplement is an ode to this designer, who apparently brought fashion and sophistication into bridal wear. Because in addition to being antiquated and sexist, why not make marriage an overpriced ode to both the ego and misguided capitalism? And that's really the gist of the film, as two best friends (Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson) turn on each other when their mutual wedding planner (Candice Bergen) inadvertently schedules their nuptials on the same day. They sabotage each other's hair, spray tans, dance lessons and bachelorette parties, conducting just about every negative female cliché imaginable, aside from calling each other bitches and screwing each other's fiancés. It's far too banal to be ironic, featuring heartfelt speeches about the lifelong dream of having a wedding at New York City's Plaza Hotel (really?) and too cornball to be comedic, boasting a sped-up dance sequence where Hathaway does the crab. For the most part, it seems to be a cloying and romanticized ode to female bonding, citing that even the threat of a botched wedding — the only thing that matters in a young woman's life, apparently — cannot tear lifelong BFFs apart. The only question left is "why would a bachelorette party involve a sexy dance-off between two women, for other women?" Also included on the DVD are deleted scenes to the tune of Anne Hathaway Bedazzling Kate Hudson's designer gown, which might as well have stayed in the film, as it's no lamer than anything else. One can only assume that Ms. Wang was upset by the image of her design being tarnished by the very item that can put a rhinestone phallus on any fashion accessory in mere minutes.