Battle: Los Angeles [Blu-Ray]

According to Battle: Los Angeles Blu-Ray exclusive supplement "Directing the Battle," as well as general featurette "Behind the Battle," many directors vied for the opportunity to tackle this ill-conceived Hurt Locker/Independence Day hybrid, pitching various visions and concepts to studio executives. Apparently, Darkness Falls director Jonathan Liebesman stood out from the pack because of his sketches, computer projections and dogged enthusiasm. And while I'm sure his pitch meeting alacrity was spunky and infectious, I have to wonder if it occurred to any of the execs to watch any film he's ever made to see that all of them were complete and total bullshit. Although, to give some balance, I'm sure the tedious, clichéd mess of this illegal Mexican immigration allegory was already in dire straits at the script level, given that the tired premise is that of a recently retired soldier (Aaron Eckhart) going back into battle to help a second lieutenant when aliens attack L.A. Why are the protagonists in these things always recently retired or two weeks from retiring? On the upside, there's no industrious dog tagging along with the soldiers, veterinarian (Bridget Moynahan) and pragmatic immigrant (Micheal Pena) as they try to figure out how to defeat the rarely seen, robotic-looking aliens. And Michelle Rodriguez is along for the ride, kicking alien ass and firing big, phallic guns with plucky, Sapphic whimsy. I'm just not sure why no effort was made to do anything with a monstrous budget and a group of moderately capable actors beyond having them spout the lamest of dialogue while running around firing guns at random objects. To boot, the whole handheld, "in the action," dynamic of the film looks like shit. Maybe if it was only an hour and 20 minutes, the sheer ineptitude and crappiness of the ordeal could be forgiven by the big, whorish visual effect money shot at the end when the alien ship reveals itself, but for some reason, this movie is two hours. Seriously. But, hey, the Blu-Ray includes supplements on the freeway battle, the alien art direction and the creation of a decimated L.A. for the four people that actually care.