This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: April 22, 2016

Some of the funniest people in the world write hilarious tweets and our only job is to collect a bunch of them for your pleasure. So take a look back at the last little while with this round up of the gut-busting week that was.
 
April 17

[parole hearing]
"What will u do if released?"
"Kill everyone on the jury."
"What?"
"Buy everyone jewellery."
"Aw. Granted."

— David Hughes (@david8hughes) April 17, 2016

 
April 18

I'm in a dad band called "Panic at the Costco"

— Obi Jawn (@ThaJawn) April 18, 2016

 
April 19

[university physics dept]

"Here to present his research on Quarks is Professor Du–

DUCK: Whoa, whoa - what the hell's a Quark?

— Todd 'Papi' Carlos (@TheToddWilliams) April 19, 2016

 
April 20

"🎶Tell me more, Tell me more, did she put up a fight🎶"

"🎶Took her bowling in the.....wait. What the fuck did you guys just say?"

— Mark Forward (@MarkForwardd) April 20, 2016

 
April 21

God: Hey Jesus! What do you want for your birthday this year?

Jesus: How about an 80s themed party?

God: OK. I'll start booking the acts

— Unsoc1able Cunt (@unsoc1ablecunt) April 21, 2016

pic.twitter.com/VNGOqbpZnq

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) April 21, 2016

 
April 22

Happy Earth Day! Only 3 of them left.

— Chris Scott (@iamchrisscott) April 22, 2016