The Twelves 30 Minutes of the Twelves

The Twelves <i>30 Minutes of the Twelves</i>
Were either of my grandmothers alive, I can assure you that even with their limited music knowledge (is Roger Whittaker good next to Riot in Belgium?) and nonexistent fluency with computers, they too could throw together some kind of bangin’ mix and upload it to either Zshare or Mediafire.

To say it’s an epidemic is a little dramatic, but the surplus of homemade amateurish DJ mixes flooding the net is annoying to say the least — from some kid pretending to be Daft Punk to a mysterious impostor pretending to be the new Girl Talk album. But one out of every million mix containing either or all of Justice, Crystal Castles, Glass Candy, Cut Copy or numerous indie acts remixed by a French producer (and vice versa) seems to actually contain signs of mixing skills and righteous song selection.

It almost makes me giddy to say that the Twelves aren’t from Paris, Sydney, New York or Gothenburg, but Rio de Janeiro, a city that actually knows how to fuckin’ party. The two Twelves in question are J. Miguel and Luciano Oliveira, and not only have they remixed every hipster-fave-gone-commercial artist like M.I.A., New Young Pony Club and Datarock, but they’ve also mastered the art of the flawless mix, balancing choice cuts with seamless transitions.

30 Minutes of the Twelves is such the result, a half-hour blending the likes of A Clockwork Orange’s sinister title track and Michael Jackson’s "Thriller” with leaders of the new cool such as Thieves Like Us and Chromatics.

Wisely embedded in there, though, are a number of remixes the duo have arranged, ensuring their adept hands are on display at all times. This includes the spectacular new remix of the Black Kids’ "I’m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You,” a quixotic treatment that throws in the whirly guitar riffs of Daft Punk, fluorescent synth loops and rock drums cut up and scattered for maximum impact.

The Twelves 30 Minutes of the Twelves

Intro - Title Music from A Clockwork Orange

1 - Revolte - Weak Generation

2 - Michael Jackson - Thriller (instrumental)
3 - Chromatics - In The City (The Twelves Replay)

4 - Datarock - I Used to Dance with my Daddy (Metal on Metal Remake)

5 - Lifelike - So Electric

6 - Theatre of Disco - YOA (The Twelves Remix)

7 - Boys Noize - Feel Good (TV Off)

8 - Thieves Like Us - Drugs in My Body (The Twelves Replay)

9 - Le Knight Club - Rhumba

10 - Les Rhythmes Digitales - Hypnotize

11 - Black Kids - I’m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You (The Twelves Replay)

12 - M.I.A. - Boyz (The Twelves Replay)

Black Kids "I’m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You” (The Twelves Remix)