The Offspring's Terrible "We Never Have Sex Anymore" Video Features Strippers, Domesticated Monkeys and John Stamos

BY Josiah HughesPublished May 13, 2021

It's almost hard to articulate all of the ways that the Offspring have managed to plumb the depths of bad taste despite their solid reputation in the '90s. And the new video for "We Never Have Sex Anymore" only adds to the confusion. Everything about it is so awful that it's almost disorienting.

The song is a sort of post-swing rock tune befitting of a villainous character in a knockoff DreamWorks movie — the kind of song that character would sing three-quarters into the movie so your kids can take a bathroom break. But the lyrics are about late-relationship malaise as two lovers move beyond showing physical affection.

Maybe there are some jokes in the lyrics, but the song sucks so bad that you wouldn't be able to tell. Besides, you'll immediately forget where you are or what's going on when the video starts. Directed by Scott Schafer, the video stars two married monkeys who are experiencing a dry spell. As such, the male monkey goes to a strip club, where he hangs out with John Stamos and throws money at strippers. 

It's possibly the most mortifying collection of images and sounds ever put on YouTube, the kind of joylessly desperate viral content that will make you question everything. This video deserves a Werner Herzog narration track.

If you're curious, watch the video for "We Never Have Sex Anymore" below.

The Offspring's aptly titled Let the Bad Times Roll is out now via Concord.

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