Study Suggests Straight Men Take Up Extreme Metal Guitar to Impress Other Straight Men

Dudes rock

BY Megan LaPierrePublished Oct 3, 2022

Musical prowess has long been considered an attractive trait — hell, talent in general is pretty sexy, but it likewise often sparks a sense of jealousy. We all know the universal experience of finding out that someone super successful is the same age as you.

Love and hate are closely related, and if you're also a fan of the whole enemies-to-lovers trope, gird your loins: a new study published in the Evolutionary Behavioral Sciences journal indicates that heterosexual men get into playing extreme metal guitar for the sake of trying to impress other heterosexual men.

This extremely specific scientific tidbit comes courtesy of researchers Tara DeLecce, Farid Pazhoohi (of the University of British Columbia), Anna Szala and Todd K. Shackelford, whose work was referenced in a tweet by British TV show Quite Interesting yesterday (October 2) — thanks Loudwire for the tip!
On behalf of the American Psychological Association (APA), the study was published under the seductive title of Extreme Metal Guitar Skill: A Case of Male–Male Status Seeking, Mate Attraction, or Byproduct? and serves to answer the age-old question: why do people make art in public?

"There are two main competing hypotheses for the function of music: sexual selection or byproduct of the complexity of the human brain," the abstract reads, stating the obvious. The academics go on to point out that, despite evidence of musical skill increasing male attractiveness, it might not be mutually exclusive to every type of music.

We know extreme metal is a male-dominated genre among both fans and musicians, so the psychologists are suggesting that increasing a straight guy's chances of sexual success seems an unlikely motivation for the heavy time investment of learning the techniques required to play in this style. Instead, they think it might be a slightly different iteration of phallus-forward thinking.

After surveying 44 individuals who identify as both heterosexual males and metal guitarists about their practicing habits, sexual behaviour and feelings of intrasexual competitiveness, DeLecce et al. were able to hypothesize that time spent thrashing may predict a desire for casual sex with women, but perceptions of playing speed were positively correlated with a desire to impress other men.

"These results offer preliminary exploratory support for the status competition model [of cultural display]," they concluded. "However, they also do not completely rule out any of the three hypotheses," which also includes the cultural courtship model (i.e., wanting to get laid) or the byproduct hypothesis, arguing that musical expression serves no purpose and is an offshoot of high intelligence in humans. Yeah, sure.

TL;DR, it's possible that memorizing all those hexatonic patterns wasn't about getting girls — since, according to Adam Levine, "no hot chicks" listen to metal anyway. Maybe it was about the dude-rockin' frenemies we made along the way.

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