I've honestly been loving Jack White's becoming-too-online character arc. Now he's really given us a look inside the four lobes of his brain: music, politics, Snoop Dogg's cereal, and, finally, the Canada–United States border.
In his latest Instagram post, the musician has opened up about a concern that seems to be keeping him up at night, and that's the impending completion of the Gordie Howe bridge across the Detroit River. After beginning construction in 2018, the new cable-stayed bridge connecting Windsor, ON, and Detroit, MI, is expected to be completed next year.
This worries Jack White. For, you see, the view from the bridge for Canadians crossing the bridge to visit Detroit will be a stunning panorama of Zug Island — the private industrial site (and major environmental hazard) within the city of River Rouge.
"They will become jealous of our Zug Island and then attempt to build their OWN copy of it on the Canadian side of the river so as not to be outdone by us," White wrote, even going so far as to map out where Canada's imitation Zug Island would go.
He continued hypothesizing, "This 'fake' Zug Island will displace hundreds of businesses and homes and also upset local birdlife and all for what? Some petty beauty contest? We have to figure out a way for this not to happen y'all. We love you Canada but you need to come up with your own scenery."
Unfortunately for White, he's simply managed to make the inevitable happen sooner. Thanks to him, now we don't have to wait until the bridge (maybe) gets finished in 2025; we can start getting jealous of Zug Island and developing a plot to make a better, nicer version of it immediately!
Find the White Stripes legend's post in full below.
