I really didn't think I was going to write another story about a Canadian musician being on Joey Graziadei's season of The Bachelor. I thought catching Bahamas's appearance was a lightning-strike moment, but I have been proven wrong (and continually exposed as someone who can't manage to turn away from this franchise): on this week's episode, none other than Feist was on hand to perform "Hiding Out in the Open."
Picture this: Graziadei — who, since that last story, has made headlines for saying that the architecture in Malta had an "old-school vibe" — is down to his final 10 girlfriends. After breezing around multiple European countries, he tells them that their next vacation dating destination is Montreal. Back to North America they shuffle, donning terrible French accents and making the weirdest poutines a group date has ever seen.
It's for his second one-on-one date in the city that the bachelor does the whole Pretty Woman thing that reliably happens once per season (he takes her shopping and gasps at every gown she tries on) with a contestant named Maria, who is from Kleinberg, ON. Although she was hardly the only Canadian among the women at the beginning, she was probably the loudest about it — and is now the last one standing, victorious in being Graziadei's favourite girl from Canada.
Once they've chosen a dress, yet another helicopter ride occurs before the pair settle in at the Rialto Theatre — complete with a marquee that cheekily reads "JE RESSENS TOUT" — for a romantic dinner. After Maria opens up about having had an engagement dangled in front of her in a previous relationship and how much she wants someone to just mean what they say and say what they mean, the couple walk into a candle-lit room with a raised-platform dance floor, and there's Feist on the stage.
Even before they got there, when I heard the opening chords to the Multitudes song, I knew exactly what was going down (despite my disbelief in such a tastefully pristine, non-country song choice). An exemplary citizen, Maria also had her suspicions and asked, "Is that Feist?"
The singer-songwriter had to self-bleep the repeated opening line, "Everybody's got their shit," and made her way through the track as Graziadei and Maria kissed and canoodled — and (spoiler alert!) the bachelor asked Maria to accept his rose. (Writing that here like this makes it sound like innuendo.)
There's a chance for lightning to strike thrice on next week's episode (airing February 26) of The Bachelor, as Graziadei and the remaining women will be continuing their Canadian travels in Jasper, AB. Hopefully they're here for the right reasons.