Miss March

When reviewing bad movies, I try my best not to be excessively mean to the creative team. They may have made a bad movie but they're human beings, and they surely had good intentions. With Trevor Moore, however, the gloves are off. In Miss March, he plays Tucker, the goofy, horn dog best friend of Eugene (Zach), and he gives a bad performance for the ages. Imagine Jim Carrey as Ace Venture (complete with wardrobe) crossed with Jeff Anderson in Clerks but divided by the demonic soul of Satan and you'll have some idea of how manically overacted, very creepy and deeply unlikable he is. Granted, Zach Cregger's approach isn't much better as Eugene, a high school abstinence advocate who wakes up from a four-year coma to find his prom date has posed in Playboy. He delivers a performance so bland and lifeless that you want to check his pulse. Granted, even Olivier would have stumbled with these two-dimensional ciphers but Moore and Cregger have only themselves to blame, wearing also the hats of writers and directors. The team behind cult TV show The Whitest Kids U Know, the source for many a moderately amusing YouTube video, their lack of film experience is evident in virtually every clumsily blocked shot, right down to a climax at the Playboy Mansion that looks suspiciously like a Motel Six with a pool (Hugh Hefner makes a cringe-inducing cameo, noticeably absent from shots featuring other actors). Some of the rapid-fire jokes have potential but Moore and Cregger strike out every time - a rapper named "Horsedick.MPEG" (Craig Robinson) is good for a titter, until Moore and Cregger repeatedly call attention to the "MPEG" part. You know, just so we get it. Both unrated and theatrical versions are included on the DVD for Miss March completists but extras are limited to several lame viral videos, including one on the legendary Horsedick.MPEG. Speaking of which, when is somebody going to let Craig Robinson be in a good movie?