Freddy vs. Jason

The return engagement of the late, great '80s slashers is a fanboy's wet dream but the horror genre has been so thoroughly skewered that it has lost its fear factor. The super-surreal Nightmare on Elm Street movies were always yards better than the bludgeoningly boring Friday The 13th films. The former boasted Johnny Depp, creepy nursery rhymes and a scarred dream stalker spouting off gems like "meet primetime, bitch," and while Jason's mom may have slashed Kevin Bacon's throat, all Jay did afterwards was silently slaughter sex-crazed kids. Booooring! Their characterisations don't change much in this myth-melding one-off, with clever pedophile Kruger (now recognisable as Robert Englund under his 21st century burn-victim makeup) waking up the lumbering machete-machine to help him return from Hell or some such nonsense. The plot doesn't really matter here — so Jason can't be killed but, um, he can be tranqed? — and neither does Destiny's Child's Kelly Rowland, though it is fun to watch her mock Freddy's dick size before getting slaughtered. For director Ronny Yu (Bride of Chucky) the point is Grand Guignol, going so far with the gore that it becomes an aesthetic. So the movie is filled with the horror clichés you know and love — busty girls, machetes, hundreds of gallons of fake blood — and adds a cornfield rave, pothead comic relief and a WWE Smackdown at Camp Crystal Lake. I won't spoil the winner, in case y'all care, but if you think the surprising success of this meta-sequel won't result in a rematch you are a silly twit. The extras boast an amusing "Jump To Death" feature and an extra disc of dull production and FX featurettes, 19 pointless deleted scene (albeit with an alternate beginning and ending) and some awesomely geeky promotional events such as "Camp Hack-n-Slash." The commentary, however, is the best of the bonuses, thanks to being hijacked by the witty Englund. Though the director gushes over the bloodletting ("ah… here it comes!") and the Jason dude actually speaks, Englund reveals what these movies are really about, "teenage girls in jeopardy — and wet." Plus: DVD-Rom extras, featurettes, more. (Alliance Atlantis)