Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

As hard as it is to envision, and as ashamed as I am to admit it, Lindsay Lohan is just too big for this movie. Sure, she's the reigning queen of this generation's teenybopper genre but this film is simply beneath even that title. Is it too hard to ask for some meaningful content in a teen movie nowadays? The story goes that Mary Elizabeth, aka Lola (Lohan), is forced to leave the Big Apple and venture into the boring suburban wasteland of New Jersey; bear in mind we're taking about a place just across the river from NYC not Demoine, Iowa for crying out loud! So, Lola, dead set on fulfilling her lifelong dream of becoming an actress, settles in at the new high school with an instant best friend, Ella (Alison Pill), a bitch antagonist, Carla (Megan Fox) and a dutiful nice guy and soon-to-be boyfriend, Sam (Eli Marienthal). We're never quite sure just what's on Lola's list of must-dos — although initially it appears obvious — because the movie jumps from one focus to the next without purposeful explanation. The unfortunately predictable storyline of teen movies like this one is the result of trying to do too much. Mean Girls, in comparison, was an entertaining movie because it stuck with one storyline instead of following a schizophrenic mission to quench every interest of its ADD-afflicted teen viewers. There is absolutely no clarity in the plot to grasp director Sara Sugarman's point. Lohan is the only redeeming part of this film; in fact, she's not dramatic at all considering the script she had to work with and the overly dramatic premise. DVD is really a godsend sometimes, as having to sit through this drivel in the theatre would have left me damn pissed at watching that kind of money go down the drain. This is one pathetic confession of a movie, but Lohan is good. Plus: Deleted scenes, "That Girl" music video, behind the scenes featurette. (Disney/Buena Vista)