Setherial Hell Eternal

Goddamn if I haven't figured it out! "It" being the reason so much black metal sucks donkey balls and the reason Etherial seem to suck a lot more than most. So many bands of this ilk use the frigid Northern and forest motifs as a big part of their image and lyrical topics. Who wants to sit around listening to a bunch of marginal musicians try and re-create the cold winds of Scandinavia (or Minnesota) when we could be hanging at the beach? And the only thing forests are good for is housing socially inept wackos like the Unabomber. The only conclusion that you'll be able to draw about Hell Eternal is that it's so cloaked in black metal clichés across the board that you'll have to talk about such silliness as the North and forests to keep from nodding off. (Napalm)