Murdoc Niccals The Exclaim! Questionnaire

Murdoc Niccals The Exclaim! Questionnaire
Hello Canada! I'm Murdoc Niccals, Gorillaz own fire pissing, rock god and evil bass lord of buggery! D'ya like that intro? Some kid called me that on our web site and it kind of struck a chord some how. Stoke's my hometown, the same place that issued forth such great visionaries as Slash and Motorhead's Lemmy. I currently split my time between London and our studio complex, Kong Studios, which is set deep within the wastelands of Essex. I think were supposed to be coming to see you lot but I don't pay much attention when our manager starts dribbling on so specifics allude me, sorry!

Current fixations:
I watched this mental documentary made by the German filmmaker Werner Herzog last night, on the time he spent working with Klaus Kinski. What a couple of absolute arse holes! It was brilliant! Herzog was droning on about sleeping under a 150 Guinea pigs in a hut with a Brazilian dwarf who had nine kids, he went on and on, never once cracking a smile. The footage of Kinski was out of this world! I mean truly out of order, the man was like a rabid, crazed baboon on PCP infused with the devil's own genius. There's not enough of that any more, apart from me.

Mind-altering work of art:
You can name any one boy or girl band album and like all great works of art they transcend all boundaries and ask the eternal question that has cried out through the ages - Why? Leaving the quickest of wits dulled for the period that they are exposed to it.

Most memorable or inspirational gig and why?
It was my first gig. My older brother Hannibal was a Skin and he took me too see the UK Subs supporting Sham 69. What he didn't tell me was that he'd taken me so that him and all of his mates could give me a kicking because I was a rocker, the bastard. I only got to see Jimmy Percy spitting at a girl before I was knocked unconscious, so I couldn't give you a review, so to speak, but I'll never forget that experience or the lesson it taught me. Never ever trust any fucking skin heads!

What has been your career high and low?
That's a difficult one because it's boring, I mean what do you want me to say? Falling from number one to number two or the fact that we're super nova pop super stars, I mean its all one great high and isn't worth a tinkers be-shitted arse piece.

What should everyone shut up about?
Men's health! Men's shit caked, sweaty arse cracks more like! The only concept of health I'm into is between the pages of Health and Efficiency where aging hippy couples parade their embarrassed pubescent offspring like fourpenny rabbits. Seriously though, heroin chic has never my bag either, it's never had the same appeal as irresponsibly promoting an image of rubbing crystal meth into your eye sockets. Know what I mean? Well, do you?

I would drop everything to play a benefit for:
I would drop my trousers for the benefit of any lucky young lady who might find herself in my company.

What trait do you like and dislike most about yourself?
Murdoc. Listen pall, do the math. Big girth multiplied by extreme heft plus enormous length means a hell of a lot of back pain for me and for any chicks that might cross my path. It not all fun and games running the biggest cottage cheese factory this side of the side of the South Downs.

What would make you kick someone out of your band and/or bed, and have you?
Easy, when I've finished with them they're off. Yeah, I've finished with loads of people, why has someone been saying otherwise?

When I think of Canada I think:
That it's an anagram of Anadin.

What is your vital daily ritual?
Every day I slaughter a goat and skin it, burn the carcass and cure the skin so I have something to write my music on.

How do you spoil yourself?
M.U.R.D.O.C Hohohohohohohoho!

What was your most memorable day job?
Being on the dole was a full time job, especially when you sign on in as many places as I used to, then getting housing benefit on top, Christ what a pain in the arse! If it wasn't against my beliefs at the time I'd have gone down their offices and shown them how to do their jobs, talk about idiots!

If I wasn't playing music I would be:
I think my last answer covers all the bases here.

What is your greatest fear?
That I'll get frightened of something, what is it they say about fear itself? No hold on, shit I know, that some dirty bastard will show me the contents of again, I mean I am not a squeamish man and I don't believe in censorship but that should be banned! I strongly advise you all not to get curious and look at this because I'm not joking!

If you had a superpower, what would it be?
That's a bit nerdy for me that one, do you mind if I pass on that? Russel or 2D would be your men on that subject.

What makes you want to take it off and get it on?
I had scabies once and let me tell when you have those evil little bastards feasting down you just want to take everything off and get some hard core chemicals on them and burn everything you own, bloody disgusting! How am I doing here chief? What you're looking for?

Music and sex: Is there a difference? Why?
You've been listening to that Carlos Santana wobbling on haven't you! I haven't heard of anyone getting pregnant from music! Hold on, I had a close call with this bird and Genesis' Muma once and Russel, the drummer from my band, swears by Barry White so maybe I'm wrong there. It's a bit of a dodgy road to go down that one though, next thing you know you'll be blaming Black Sabbath for all sorts of things! Hail Satan!

Strangest brush with celebrity:
Funnily enough I was at a party and Moby tried his "funny" touch the celeb with his cock game. If he tries it near me again I'm gonna go Captain Ahab on his ass and it will be the last time this Moby sees any dick.

Who would be your ideal dinner guest, living or dead, and what would you serve them?
I'd have Fanny Cradock around and I'm not talking about that git from Ocean Dullard Scene. No, I'm talking about the old English celebrity cook. I'd burn everything, she would then take over and I'd get a break from the Pot Noodles.

What does your mom wish you were doing instead?
Selling Internet pornography, taking the family business into the new millennium and all that.