Johnny Sizzle

I'm not a violent man by any means, nor am I particularly cruel. But I'm pretty sure that if I ever met Johnny Sizzle, I'd want to give him one colossal, just-for-old-time's-sake wedgie and pull his cotton-polyester briefs right over his head and laugh about it to my friends. He's a nerd, hell, he's the self-appointed king of nerd rock! If you're going to don the sceptre, crown and mantle, be ready for the slings and arrows. Having said that, I expect him to ruin my credit rating, sneeze on my girlfriend and infect my apartment with fungus and mould. Mostly acoustic guitar with some drum sampling and the most nasal of all blocked passages possible vocally, Sizzle's music reflects his personality: he's a big dork and appeals to all the scared, insecure and geeky parts that hide in all of us. His irksome social awkwardness reminds me of Nuardwar, and I wonder if that's a good thing. It is hard to pass judgement on his music, because so much of it revolves around who he is; he's the nerd who makes records. Are they any good? Well, it really depends on what you define good as. The music's weird, gimmicky and very idiosyncratic. So take it from there.