Year in, year out, artists put their hearts and souls into their albums, tweaking the sonics just right in hopes of putting out the best LPs of their careers. Sometimes, though, we at Exclaim! question whether acts put the same kind of passion into the overall package. You can put out a platter just packed with hits, but what happens if the first thing people see on the iTunes store or record shelf is an unsightly or offensive album cover?
The incongruity between album title and image, nauseating misogyny, lazy pop culture spoofs and poor layout skills: we've seen it all this year. Witness, if you will, the horror show that is our Worst Album Covers list below.
Don't forget to head over to our 2014 in Lists section to see more of our Year-End coverage.
Worst Album Covers of 2014:
10. David Crosby
CROZ
To be honest, we're not saying this is a particularly bad picture of David Crosby. Looking at his body of solo work, between the nauseating rainbow hue of both If I Could Only Remember My Name and Thousand Roads, and the '80s-tastic gradient blur of Oh Yes I Can, this simple headshot is by far the classiest cover of the bunch.
Any of that dignity, however, is smeared out by the ridiculous, "hip" nickname of an album title that takes up the top tier of the cover. Who knows, though — maybe it'll all make sense once Stillz and Nazh complete the cycle?
9. Mariah Carey
Me. I Am Mariah... The Elusive Chanteuse
On the surface level, this isn't really that far off from any other Mariah Carey release that's come out over the course of the last 20 years. Let's break down the scene, though. We'd wager that if Mimi were truly trying to become the "Elusive Chanteuse," she's already handicapped by being one of the biggest recording artists of all time. Standing smack dab in the centre of the cover art in a bathing suit isn't doing her any favours, either.
Fun fact: Carey wasn't that fond of the Photoshop job herself. See below:
8. Melvins
Hold It In
Long-running sludge lords Melvins tried something new with their Hold It In LP by adding Butthole Surfers members Paul Leary and Jeff Pinkus to the ever-revolving lineup. Reflecting this personnel shift is an album cover featuring four spoons ready to serve you the quartet's severed heads.
Though there's something kind of cute about the artwork (did you notice the personalized cursive engravings on each utensil?), just the thought of getting a sweaty swish of King Buzzo's famously frizzy 'do in our mouths makes us want to Freak Puke all over the "Honeybucket."
7. Young Thug
1017 Thug 2
Using a picture of yourself for your cover art can be a bold statement, revealing the true nature of your character to your fans, if not the world. Between Young Thug's studded leather jacket and "anything goes" goofball pose, 1017 Thug 2 puts forth the message that the on-the-rise Atlanta rapper serves up street toughness with a side of humour. But, wait, what's that? That's just his dome pasted on top of Wiz Khalifa's body? Well, it's still a pretty nice jacket.
6. Matthewdavid
In My World
In Matthewdavid's world, this is how you hold a baby.
5. Chief Keef
Back From the Dead 2
Considering his relentless onslaught of half-sung/half-rapped drill singles, it's laughable that Chief Keef legitimately thinks he can name a project Back From anything resembling death. Even worse, the above artwork is for a second entry in the one of the prolific Chiraq spitter's many, many mixtape series.
Also chuckle-inducing is Back From the Dead 2's graveyard scene, which finds the decomposing rapper surging out of the cemetery grounds looking something like the Cryptkeeper mixed with the aliens from They Live. Also, try to wrap your mind around the scale between Keef's corpse and that hawk hovering dangerously close to the recently re-risen rapper. We're not sure exactly what's going on here, but Illinois has either got some heavily radioactive burial grounds or the Almighty Sosa's got the kind of skeleton that suffers post-mortem gigantism.
4. Steel Panther
All You Can Eat
Just as tired as heavy metal jokesters' Steel Panther's lazy, hedonistic genre guffaws is this "The Last Supper"-inspired cover. While a spoof, the photo shoot screws up the order at the table, making it kind of unclear who the Judas is to singer Michael Starr's smart aleck-y, Domino's-scarfing Jesus. Is guitarist Satchel planning a betrayal via a sub-par solo?
While a pizza doesn't sound half-bad about now, those side-dishes of mac and cheese and Elmer's glue look rather wretched. The best part of the cover is the six women bookending the table that seem completely uninterested in whatever gospel this gang of rock and roll riff-raff have to offer.
3. Lustfinger
Zündstoff
German outfit Lustfinger have been punking it up since the early '80s, but it took the band until 2014 to hit most of our radars with this pungent piece of pubic art. As you'll see, the group's latest album, Zündstoff (German for "Dynamite"), hits the canvas with an angered, middle finger-raising fist exploding painfully between a woman's clenched thighs. While they managed to bring rubber stamps of the band name and album title to the photo shoot, they forgot to bring along the one that read "FAIL."
2. Les Sins
Michael
Chaz Bundick is no stranger to the worst covers game, having made the list back in 2011 with the awkwardly oozing, grapefruit-munching cover of his Toro Y Moi album Underneath the Pine. As Les Sins, he's managed to outdo himself on debut disc Michael with a slop-job layout that features a tilted band logo and a picture of one of those inflatable advertising men you find at car dealerships. Oddly, it becomes less unappealing and congested if you slip your finger over the album title. Give it a try!
1. Moodymann
Moodymann
Detroit house producer Moodymann got the big thumbs up from Exclaim! way back in January over the "deep soulful grooves" of his self-titled LP, but man, that album art is straight-up unsettling. Mixing the waxy, old school caricature style of film posters from Dolemite to Vacation with the grotesqueness of the Garbage Pail Kids, it's got the gigantic, pot-bellied and piranha-toothed Moodymann flashing us the freakiest of grins. Those roller-skating ladies seem to be pretty relaxed with the bad boy, but we've had nightmares all year long over this thing.
The incongruity between album title and image, nauseating misogyny, lazy pop culture spoofs and poor layout skills: we've seen it all this year. Witness, if you will, the horror show that is our Worst Album Covers list below.
Don't forget to head over to our 2014 in Lists section to see more of our Year-End coverage.
Worst Album Covers of 2014:
10. David Crosby
CROZ
To be honest, we're not saying this is a particularly bad picture of David Crosby. Looking at his body of solo work, between the nauseating rainbow hue of both If I Could Only Remember My Name and Thousand Roads, and the '80s-tastic gradient blur of Oh Yes I Can, this simple headshot is by far the classiest cover of the bunch.
Any of that dignity, however, is smeared out by the ridiculous, "hip" nickname of an album title that takes up the top tier of the cover. Who knows, though — maybe it'll all make sense once Stillz and Nazh complete the cycle?
9. Mariah Carey
Me. I Am Mariah... The Elusive Chanteuse
On the surface level, this isn't really that far off from any other Mariah Carey release that's come out over the course of the last 20 years. Let's break down the scene, though. We'd wager that if Mimi were truly trying to become the "Elusive Chanteuse," she's already handicapped by being one of the biggest recording artists of all time. Standing smack dab in the centre of the cover art in a bathing suit isn't doing her any favours, either.
Fun fact: Carey wasn't that fond of the Photoshop job herself. See below:
That definitely was NOT my selection for the cover... ugh! 😂
— Mariah Carey #MC20 (@MariahCarey) June 21, 2014
8. Melvins
Hold It In
Long-running sludge lords Melvins tried something new with their Hold It In LP by adding Butthole Surfers members Paul Leary and Jeff Pinkus to the ever-revolving lineup. Reflecting this personnel shift is an album cover featuring four spoons ready to serve you the quartet's severed heads.
Though there's something kind of cute about the artwork (did you notice the personalized cursive engravings on each utensil?), just the thought of getting a sweaty swish of King Buzzo's famously frizzy 'do in our mouths makes us want to Freak Puke all over the "Honeybucket."
7. Young Thug
1017 Thug 2
Using a picture of yourself for your cover art can be a bold statement, revealing the true nature of your character to your fans, if not the world. Between Young Thug's studded leather jacket and "anything goes" goofball pose, 1017 Thug 2 puts forth the message that the on-the-rise Atlanta rapper serves up street toughness with a side of humour. But, wait, what's that? That's just his dome pasted on top of Wiz Khalifa's body? Well, it's still a pretty nice jacket.
6. Matthewdavid
In My World
In Matthewdavid's world, this is how you hold a baby.
5. Chief Keef
Back From the Dead 2
Considering his relentless onslaught of half-sung/half-rapped drill singles, it's laughable that Chief Keef legitimately thinks he can name a project Back From anything resembling death. Even worse, the above artwork is for a second entry in the one of the prolific Chiraq spitter's many, many mixtape series.
Also chuckle-inducing is Back From the Dead 2's graveyard scene, which finds the decomposing rapper surging out of the cemetery grounds looking something like the Cryptkeeper mixed with the aliens from They Live. Also, try to wrap your mind around the scale between Keef's corpse and that hawk hovering dangerously close to the recently re-risen rapper. We're not sure exactly what's going on here, but Illinois has either got some heavily radioactive burial grounds or the Almighty Sosa's got the kind of skeleton that suffers post-mortem gigantism.
4. Steel Panther
All You Can Eat
Just as tired as heavy metal jokesters' Steel Panther's lazy, hedonistic genre guffaws is this "The Last Supper"-inspired cover. While a spoof, the photo shoot screws up the order at the table, making it kind of unclear who the Judas is to singer Michael Starr's smart aleck-y, Domino's-scarfing Jesus. Is guitarist Satchel planning a betrayal via a sub-par solo?
While a pizza doesn't sound half-bad about now, those side-dishes of mac and cheese and Elmer's glue look rather wretched. The best part of the cover is the six women bookending the table that seem completely uninterested in whatever gospel this gang of rock and roll riff-raff have to offer.
3. Lustfinger
Zündstoff
German outfit Lustfinger have been punking it up since the early '80s, but it took the band until 2014 to hit most of our radars with this pungent piece of pubic art. As you'll see, the group's latest album, Zündstoff (German for "Dynamite"), hits the canvas with an angered, middle finger-raising fist exploding painfully between a woman's clenched thighs. While they managed to bring rubber stamps of the band name and album title to the photo shoot, they forgot to bring along the one that read "FAIL."
2. Les Sins
Michael
Chaz Bundick is no stranger to the worst covers game, having made the list back in 2011 with the awkwardly oozing, grapefruit-munching cover of his Toro Y Moi album Underneath the Pine. As Les Sins, he's managed to outdo himself on debut disc Michael with a slop-job layout that features a tilted band logo and a picture of one of those inflatable advertising men you find at car dealerships. Oddly, it becomes less unappealing and congested if you slip your finger over the album title. Give it a try!
1. Moodymann
Moodymann
Detroit house producer Moodymann got the big thumbs up from Exclaim! way back in January over the "deep soulful grooves" of his self-titled LP, but man, that album art is straight-up unsettling. Mixing the waxy, old school caricature style of film posters from Dolemite to Vacation with the grotesqueness of the Garbage Pail Kids, it's got the gigantic, pot-bellied and piranha-toothed Moodymann flashing us the freakiest of grins. Those roller-skating ladies seem to be pretty relaxed with the bad boy, but we've had nightmares all year long over this thing.