Ancient The Halls of Eternity

This disc is draped in an awesome cover painting and some crafty graphic design, they have song titles like the smirk-inducing “From Behind Comes the Sword,” backing vocalist Deadly Kristin looks like she came from an amateur porn flick, and one member has the gall to go by the name Jesus Christ! The only problem is that beyond all that stuff is an hour-plus of some of the most immature, parents’ basement sounding black metal ever. (Metal Blade)