Beverly Hills Chihuahuawa Raja Gosnell

Beverly Hills Chihuahuawa Raja Gosnell
It’s official: Enchanted was an anomaly. Just when you thought Disney might go back to making movie magic, they come out with this piece of excrement.

Now, admittedly, one expects from a film entitled Beverly Hills Chihuahua a certain level of over-the-top nonsense. One even looks forward to it. Yet the mass Chihuahua dance numbers promised in the trailer never appear and instead we get the total predict-a-plot wherein spoiled bitch Chloe (voiced by Drew Barrymore) winds up in filthy, disgusting Mexico with only the noble but haunted hero (a German shepherd voiced by Andy Garcia) to return her to the literal lap of luxury.

Beverly Hills Chihuahua lays on the "ay chihuahua” stereotypes, with George Lopez voicing Papi the would-be Latin lover, Edward James Olmos as Diablo the blood-thirsty Doberman and appearances by Paul Rodriguez, Cheech Marin, Luiz Gúzman — every Hispanic in the business carambas it up in this picture. Even Placido Domingo, for god’s sake.

And what could be more fun for the kids than cute puppies made to fight to the death in a dogfight arena! Somehow the puppy-murdering intent of Cruella deVille seems funnier and more benign than squeezing laughs out of backstreet dog fighting, perhaps because no one really goes around making fur coats out of Dalmatians, whereas dog-fighting is a brutal reality not just in Mexico but in America’s own back yard (yo, Michael Vick?).

Joyless, plot less and worst of all, dance-numberless, I wouldn’t take a dog to see this movie. (Walt Disney/Buena Vista)