This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: May 5, 2016

This week, some weird foreplay and dating stuff, Larry Wilmore uses a word he can use, Ted Cruz finally understands what losing means, you need to get serious about pancakes, and much more from this week in funny tweets.
 
April 29

I wanna release your Kraken until you Perseus all over my Titans...

- Clash of the Titans Sext

— Boats n Ho's (@Poutymcgee) April 29, 2016

 
April 30

White conservatives are complaining that Larry Wilmore uttered "nigga"? And Republicans are about to nominate a dude endorsed by the Klan.

— Jamil Smith (@JamilSmith) May 1, 2016

 
May 1

An old lady on the bus just tried to set me up with her daughter. Here's everything she knows about me:

1) I don't have a car

— shut up, mike (@shutupmikeginn) May 2, 2016

 
May 2

If Ted Cruz loses tomorrow it will be exciting to see who he picks as his Secretary of State.

— Albert Brooks (@AlbertBrooks) May 2, 2016

 
May 3

do you want to have a few pancakes, you wuss, or do you want to get real pic.twitter.com/W4x1Gi23Xe

— spacegirl incognito (@iamspacegirl) May 3, 2016

 
May 4

This is totally ancient but probably still my favours Star Wars related thing.#StarWarsDay #MayThe4thBeWithYou pic.twitter.com/xyGwUOZ4MR

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) May 4, 2016

 
May 5

Donald Trump is now the presumptive GOP nominee for President of the United States. https://t.co/AczzJzcMRN pic.twitter.com/sEDxbRmqQg

— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) May 5, 2016