Gillian Anderson made me gay, how to do your kid's last day, what did people say, new hockey to play. and much more from this week in funny tweets.

June 16

my morning routine is to brush my teeth, wash my face, have a coffee and do a few stretches, usually takes about 4 hours and 45 minutes.
— chlobuchar (@me_im_chloe) June 16, 2023

we used to have fun on this app https://t.co/TOU0NC897d pic.twitter.com/SFNEbrojId
— ¢orie (@corietjohnson) June 16, 2023

Probably not a great sign for a website when most of the engagement posts are just, "What's an old tweet that's good?"
— Cody Johnston (@drmistercody) June 17, 2023

me on uber eats after seeing the total of my order then deleting everything pic.twitter.com/NUptilx1cS
— fiona (@JUSTAPARTYG1RL) June 17, 2023

https://t.co/fkHjLUDy5e pic.twitter.com/cEHSiHn8ni
— Retail Archaeology 🌵🌴 (@Ret_Archaeology) June 16, 2023

https://t.co/6t43Yijm4y pic.twitter.com/c1pw779MhA
— Zirky (@Z1rky) June 16, 2023

"We can't wear helmets in construction forever" is the equivalent of what is trending in hospitals.
— The Babel Fish (@TheBabelFish1) June 16, 2023

No one puts the counter argument better than Frank McCourt - in one of my favourite ever letters https://t.co/v1BFpZ8JEr pic.twitter.com/vNMzTGviZd
— Jessica Elgot is on maternity leave (@jessicaelgot) June 16, 2023

French twitter losing its mind right now because they translated the Barbie poster literally and accidentally made a pun that reads 'She knows how to do everything. He just knows how to f*ck.' https://t.co/jGSgJIrr3F
— Mathilde Merouani (@MathildeMerwani) June 16, 2023

ANCIENT GREEK MAN: My dear why are you having sex with that bull!?

ANCIENT GREEK WOMAN: My husband don't you worry for this bull is actually Zeus in disguise

BULL: No I'm not
— Chris Locke (@chrislockeworld) June 16, 2023

SCORSESE: I am going to die soon. Despite what many say, I don't think there's a way to make peace with that. One day, sooner rather than later, I will be forced to stop creating, and I need more time. There just isn't enough time.

INTERVIEWER: What do you think of "Spider-Man"
— frank zeppo (noah) (@NoahPasternak) June 16, 2023

just found out mamma mia and the dark knight came out on the same day in 2008….barbie and oppenheimer 1.0…..
— trish (@ULTRAGLOSS) June 16, 2023

Ja Morant hearing it's only 25 games pic.twitter.com/EEbYujG0t6
— Jasmine (@JasmineLWatkins) June 16, 2023

The bosses are getting desperate lol pic.twitter.com/PMapvBgYoc
— Ken Klippenstein (@kenklippenstein) June 16, 2023

if you an orca whale reading this, i am on your side. i have always been on your side. i fear the sea and i have never been to marineland. i believe in you. https://t.co/Xzog4VxT9X
— anne t donahue (@annetdonahue) June 16, 2023

June 17

Nice try, boat pic.twitter.com/w7QYaRpkDl
— An Adult Beefswelling (@nirol__) June 17, 2023

"not our friends" – dude's magazine steals the name of their home and he wonders why orcas are mad. pic.twitter.com/2aMJyCPIvN
— ben schwartz (@benschwartz_) June 17, 2023

Imagine being a human man and losing a pr battle with an orca
— 🫡 Imani Gandy ⚓️ (@AngryBlackLady) June 18, 2023

Ugh. I keep telling them… I AM human!!! pic.twitter.com/ZWq0gpnKqN
— Al Yankovic (@alyankovic) June 17, 2023

pic.twitter.com/dxTLALT8B6
— Logan Dean (@L__Dean) June 17, 2023

Just warning the studios that if we don't start making shows, they're not gonna have anything to reboot in 8-12 years
— Jill Twiss (@jilltwiss) June 17, 2023

"ELEMENTAL features Pixar's first nonbinary character" oh so we're just ignoring this legend's impact?? pic.twitter.com/iwZQuhKKkE
— Tom Zohar (@TomZohar) June 17, 2023

for weeks my parents have been at war against a very resourceful rat and I've been begging them to call pest control but no my dad would rather balance a banana on a 2x4 over a garbage can full of water like a fucking cartoon cat pic.twitter.com/n5iB4DGwLd
— Vanta Greige (homosexual) (@ultramaricon) June 17, 2023

Nothing Happened Today, Not A Single Bit of News to Cover, so Here Are All of PUP's Music Videos Ranked https://t.co/oW721Iic06
— The Hard Times (@REALpunknews) June 17, 2023

watch this mf https://t.co/chyTecneIb pic.twitter.com/xGLXFolwYo
— Michael Rancic (Nellee Hooper Mix) (@therewasnosound) June 17, 2023

Randy Savage on stage with Luigi at a Nintendo Convention in 1990. pic.twitter.com/AF3DzMP2Tt
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) June 17, 2023

Oh she never recovered pic.twitter.com/akPhHdDicT https://t.co/GRtCmRU67R
— Aidan (@aidanthereup) June 17, 2023

Perty much pic.twitter.com/6ijRZv6BZt
— Liam Nissan™ (@theliamnissan) June 17, 2023

my pride and joy https://t.co/hzUBzpjY3P pic.twitter.com/EeO2OSI24X
— Sophie Hall (@SophLouiseHall) June 17, 2023

🤗 https://t.co/BszKyOCyd8 pic.twitter.com/brzjH2Q0V2
— Virgo's Groove, PhD (@T_dot_Lee_PhD) June 17, 2023

I was a big fan of NewsRadio but if you'd told me that one of the actors would wind up being an insanely influential force for weaponized dipshittery, I absolutely would've picked Andy Dick. pic.twitter.com/eMidgkUtZv
— Kevin M. Kruse (@KevinMKruse) June 17, 2023

June 18

https://t.co/i2Xb2lbbWO pic.twitter.com/vYxyDwIAG7
— lucy (@heylucymay) June 19, 2023

i hope it hits me right in the fucking face pic.twitter.com/axmVMPjRz6
— Ali Garfinkel (@aligarchy) June 19, 2023

Never forget pic.twitter.com/IEhbogaWwq
— justin (@jusmas27) June 18, 2023

Kinda messed up that Fathers get a day and Sharks get a whole week when you consider that fathers attack way more people a year
— Alex Edelman (@AlexEdelman) June 18, 2023

did an empty office tower write this pic.twitter.com/TmqKsslbMj
— shauna (@goldengateblond) June 18, 2023

It literally is….? lol https://t.co/LBQqdu5F0y pic.twitter.com/C1EqcBiaDX
— matcha enthusiast (@EYMNI7) June 18, 2023

https://t.co/xGjpbkv4iy pic.twitter.com/UxdXQISaG6
— feminist next door (@emrazz) June 19, 2023

Sharks and orcas setting aside their differences and uniting to rid the seas of trespassing humans: https://t.co/DifyheRNTw pic.twitter.com/ZWs909I7e1
— Eric Haywood (@EricHaywood) June 19, 2023

Debate me, boats pic.twitter.com/kXLS21b2VL
— Stone Cold Jane Austen (@AbbyHiggs) June 18, 2023

DOCTOR: "I'm sorry. You have cancer."
DORK: "No I don't. Debate me!"
DOCTOR: "I understand if you want a second opinion. In fact, I encourage it."
DORK: "Sounds like you won't debate the issue because you know you're wrong."
DOCTOR: "I'd love to be wrong."
DORK: "Then debate me!"
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) June 18, 2023

still the best thing anyone's ever said about joe rogan pic.twitter.com/l0UoeShro4
— Marlow Stern (@MarlowNYC) June 18, 2023

the script writers really be throwing us hints and we miss them https://t.co/MSXONeGDbM
— jeff (@DedicationHoops) June 19, 2023

 
June 19

The way i hollered 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/uRpaVJ6r4H
— He's a Rick Houseeeee (@RickyKavin1213) June 19, 2023

. https://t.co/1o4eCLjukr pic.twitter.com/1IGaj3QWjC
— kr ✰ (@dwnfunkytwn) June 20, 2023

Boston accent vs traditional pronunciation pic.twitter.com/mZLQAHUjZ9
— wade meckler fan (@mecklerbetter) June 19, 2023

https://t.co/bcmGYl9WNe pic.twitter.com/QddSfYaLkT
— Scott Chegg (@buckfastbadlad) June 19, 2023

yesterday i learned my dad's new thing is "playing 2k" by way of putting all his fav players onto one team and all his other favs on another and starting a game with both as CPU and then just watching it like a normal game. if you ask to use the tv he says no i'm playing the game
— CREATURE OF HABIT OUT NOW (@deleteeglitch) June 19, 2023

It's wild to me that it took so long for women to start getting proper autism diagnoses. They invented quilting. QUILTING. "Whatcha doing, mom?"
"Just making very exacting intricate designs out of geometry and tiny perfect fabric squares."
"Seems normal."
— Eliza Skinner #wgastrong (@elizaskinner) June 19, 2023

Now that's how to do your kid's last day of school 🤣 pic.twitter.com/ddDnWTVwNR
— Wu Tang is for the Children (@WUTangKids) June 19, 2023

if you do not stretch, (back, legs, hips, feet) and you know what the Animaniacs are, you need to start doing it for at least 30 minutes daily or your body will suffer
— Karen K. Ho is at #IRE23 (@karenkho) June 19, 2023

https://t.co/n5VpO6QH2L pic.twitter.com/I0R62WTAva
— Emma Silvers (@emmaruthless) June 20, 2023

Always thrilled to be of service. 😉 🏳️‍🌈 https://t.co/5oA4ZRCNae
— Gillian Anderson (@GillianA) June 19, 2023

Can y'all believe Bisexuality is gonna be 28 this year? How time flies pic.twitter.com/nsLxX7Q6Zc
— Sean Barry Parsons® (@SeanBParsons) June 19, 2023

every clip from The Idol pic.twitter.com/BX2IeQ2UvA
— Aaron Serna (@AaronSerna) June 19, 2023

hbo sundays will never recover from this pic.twitter.com/0O6wGhX7Rb
— Saint Hoax (@SaintHoax) June 19, 2023

Let me confirm, being related to a president does not make you a worthwhile candidate. https://t.co/LDDRP0gJ7z
— Ted Roosevelt V (@RooseveltTed) June 19, 2023

Who would you rather take physics advice from? https://t.co/oVuOivUmxq pic.twitter.com/CPp7o6nLqF
— Andrew Fleischman (@ASFleischman) June 19, 2023

The only COVID-19 debate that ever needs to happen on The Joe Rogan Experience already happened.

It lasted 17 seconds and Bill Burr won. pic.twitter.com/1lrcanFGcx
— Seth Abramson (@SethAbramson) June 19, 2023

I knocked over a plant in the kitchen but my cat saw me so I had to spray myself with water so I could show the law applies to everyone
— Lord Hugh Mungus (@PoodleSnarf) June 19, 2023

It turns out if we just charge a large sum of money we can make the billionaires put themselves in the contraption
— Lolo (@LolOverruled) June 20, 2023

this titanic thing is getting me so excited for elons trip to mars
— Myka Fox (@MykaFox) June 20, 2023

Y'all please watch this. It's a CBS story that aired a while back about that submarine that is now missing. The creators of that missing submarine are DEEPLY unserious. pic.twitter.com/B6JriITyZj
— Marie, MSN, APRN, FNP-C (@FnpMarieOH) June 19, 2023

Titanic and Lettuce are trending.

I'm sure there's an Iceberg joke jn there somewhere. pic.twitter.com/qN2cy1Zdbw
— Kaitlyn Murphy (@Katie_Murphy776) June 19, 2023

saving all my thoughts on this titanic submarine until I finish leno and corolla's comedy camp
— Myka Fox (@MykaFox) June 20, 2023

The death toll from the Titanic has *checks notes* increased https://t.co/7Y21zz83eI
— Not 1985 (@l985) June 19, 2023

We can't breathe underwater, can I please work for the Times pic.twitter.com/Qq3oPvI2ZR
— Eli Valley (@elivalley) June 20, 2023

one nice thing about not being a billionaire is that i feel like i can pretty safely rule out getting crushed to death in a few seconds at the bottom of the atlantic ocean. that's definitely not going to happen to me
— lauren (@NotABigJerk) June 20, 2023

I never wrote a scene for SVU in which the defendant was this dumb. https://t.co/OcYwHhDp8g
— Warren Leight (@warrenleightTV) June 20, 2023

Lulz pic.twitter.com/ciulIpWapT
— Helen Kennedy (@HelenKennedy) June 20, 2023

It's so profoundly stupid when people describe Juneteenth as a "made up" holiday. All holidays are made up. They're not, like, plants. They don't just grow here.
— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) June 20, 2023

Bradley Beal. Devin Booker. Hooters with the fellas. https://t.co/rcCm7YlVwN pic.twitter.com/9KG8MpgM77
— Bun (@bunrxm) June 19, 2023

I miss Gandolfini for many reasons but a big one is nobody played that thing middle aged guys do when they're snoozing and are startled out of deep sleep and look and sound like they've never seen you in their lives better than him
— Brandon Streussnig (@BrndnStrssng) June 19, 2023

There's a professional cricket team in Seattle called the Seattle Orcas, and this is their logo, and I feel like someone in their marketing department is asleep at the wheel if they're not trying to sell t-shirts to everyone at a moment. pic.twitter.com/wHUJ6b4kWX
— Franklin Leonard (@franklinleonard) June 20, 2023

"And tell Celine to sing about that!" https://t.co/48QIwkaes1 pic.twitter.com/cdwiHYkcGG
— Trey (@treydayway) June 20, 2023

 
June 20

How dinosaurs really went extinct, according to flat earthers: pic.twitter.com/iVVEzt5ech
— Historic Vids (@historyinmemes) June 20, 2023

Costco sells items in bulk.

800 divided by 58 is 14.

That means the average item you bought, in bulk, cost $14 dollars.

Stop blaming Joe Biden for your faulty logic and horrible math skills.

Stop gaslighting.

Grow up, dummy. pic.twitter.com/sbBakjNFRI
— The USA Singers (@TheUSASingers) June 21, 2023

mmhmm.... https://t.co/8gVlKIHDoF pic.twitter.com/9NxGv9tcbX
— doubled masked dai 😷 (@daibyday) June 20, 2023

strange how that goes huh https://t.co/1vFXsDHUZy pic.twitter.com/ckfJzwZzy4
— gryphoneer (@OneRadChee) June 21, 2023

Damn this guy really hates his car. pic.twitter.com/MbHCvQaxaO
— Noah Garfinkel (@NoahGarfinkel) June 20, 2023

"55 burgers, 55 fries, 55 tacos, 55 pies, 55 cokes, 100 tater tots, 100 pizzas, 100 tenders, 100 meatballs, 100 coffees, 55 wings, 55 shakes, 55 pancakes, 55 pastas, 55 peppers, and 155 taters." pic.twitter.com/kP6C3pSJN3
— Lynda Carter (@RealLyndaCarter) June 21, 2023

The Atlantic Ocean: https://t.co/qlRDQH2qLE
— ChiddenNuddet.exe (@Maraculousness) June 21, 2023

I know a lot of ppl don't understand why the #OceanGate Titanic submersible story is so fascinating to some of us. For me this news is riveting because it's surreal and borderline absurd. 😳 So many obvious 🚩🚩🚩yet millionaires willingly paid for this. 🤯 I'm in awe like her. pic.twitter.com/NXx7z3ckgH
— Gwen 💫 (@GabwithGwen) June 20, 2023

In all seriousness, I do feel for the Titanic submarine guys. One of my greatest fears in life is dying in a way that's funnier than it is sad. The idea of everyone around me being like "yeah, so awful" and then quickly looking back and forth before saying "but...."
— Dan Sheehan (@ItsDanSheehan) June 20, 2023

Me consuming all the titanic submarine content I possibly can for the past 24 hours: pic.twitter.com/Ov52GmRXTA
— Kelley 🌙 (@kelleymcgrathx) June 21, 2023

it's hard to believe that after jared a sub could have even worse PR
— Myka Fox (@MykaFox) June 20, 2023

posting this when your billionaire stepdad is 24hr away from dying one of the most horrific deaths in world history is possibly the funniest thing to ever happen on this site pic.twitter.com/8nd0vkhpTp
— Alpha Male (real) (@SortaBad) June 21, 2023

the thing about the billionaires in the ed, edd, n' eddy submarine is that they could have financed a real, safe trip to the titanic if they wanted. james cameron did it 12 times. they chose to get locked into a pringles can steered with a madcatz controller.
— all my teams want me dead (@PanasonicDX4500) June 20, 2023

A BILLIONAIRE STUCK AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN? SURELY HE CAN PULL HIMSELF UP BY CUTTING DOWN ON UNNECESSARY SPENDING AND PICKING UP A SIDE HUSTLE
— NOT A WOLF (@SICKOFWOLVES) June 20, 2023

The most perfect meme in history strikes again pic.twitter.com/r1oWjKkzyl
— podcast plagiarism inspector general 🕵🏾‍♀️ (@writerbxtch) June 20, 2023

Me: A submersible got lost looking for the Titanic.

Husband, a Titanic geek: Oh, they're gone.

Me: Well, there's a search and rescue—

Husband: No, they're gone.

Me: But they do have 36 hours of oxygen left—

Husband: They're gone.

Me:

Husband: Don't ever go in the ocean.
— Adam Sass (@TheAdamSass) June 21, 2023

Titanic coming out of retirement to pad its stats like Tom Brady
— Justin🦩Boldaji (@justinboldaji) June 20, 2023

(Submarine people rescued) wow, I'm glad that's over. What did people say about us when we were down there? I'm sure it was respectful
— Haus of Decline (@hausofdecline) June 20, 2023

June 21

so we have ice (water) hockey, field (earth) hockey, and air/table (air) hockey…. folks I believe it is time for fire hockey
— danielle weisberg (@danielleweisber) June 22, 2023

Calls Paul George the GOAT, talks shit back to MJ, tells the media MJ air-balled a free throw, tells media MJ needs to lace 'em up, then calls him "old" to wrap up the interview. Can't tell if this is Grade A tanking or the greatest way to get drafted by Michael Jordan https://t.co/aXJPKjBpeL
— Tate Frazier (@tatefrazier) June 21, 2023

Marcus Smart is gonna pull up for his eighth three of the night and Ja is gonna shoot him. This is entrapment.
— myles brown (@mdotbrown) June 22, 2023

Bro really went down the up escalator to avoid some hoes 😂😂

pic.twitter.com/mBPtanuN36 https://t.co/cFNDpbyHK3
— Headpeace (@Tsunamidrako) June 21, 2023

Bitch when that camera turned https://t.co/YwzQNIfxFT
— Cousin Chellz (@b0mbchell_) June 22, 2023

"Emergency call" https://t.co/zaSOQCwZ9g pic.twitter.com/BzmFPSZtHw
— Brandon Streussnig (@BrndnStrssng) June 21, 2023

not to be dramatic but these two look like the human versions of kermit the frog and miss piggy pic.twitter.com/ILpghtFSU8
— mika 🔪 (@RIPmika) June 21, 2023

I've recently changed my opinion about Clarence Thomas going on expeditions with billionaires
— Lauren Rinaldi 🧚‍♀️ (@LRinaldiArt) June 21, 2023

Look, I'm not SAYING I can predict the future, but https://t.co/dSFOAyQFHt pic.twitter.com/wI2s0rAwpm
— Clare Blackwood (@clareblackwood) June 22, 2023

OK her quote followed by the price of her tank top has me so 💀💀💀 pic.twitter.com/3jWWJu9hUC
— Katie Camero (@camerokt_) June 21, 2023

Wedding culture has gotten insane and should be studied as a symptom of societal collapse. pic.twitter.com/mf7LSxiJA4
— Jessica Ellis (@baddestmamajama) June 21, 2023

middle names are so funny. it's like ok what if we gave this baby a second worse name that's a little bit of a secret ?? and it kind of has to be marie
— chase (@_chase_____) June 21, 2023

my girl sprays this into my enclosure when i tweet good pic.twitter.com/dxlgGFvzo3
— horse dentist (@equine__dentist) June 22, 2023

that's only 14 hours pic.twitter.com/adYLWx76R1
— naomi (@lachancenaomi27) June 22, 2023

We're All A Bit Bored Of Forest Fires And The Climate Crisis And That Sort Of Stuff Now And It's Time To Move On. pic.twitter.com/aCh3PaMYax
— The Vertlartnic (@TheVertlartnic) June 21, 2023

Even if you found a feral child with a pack of raccoons near a meth lab in Aurora, CO and then educated it on absolutely nothing but Jersey Shore reruns and ramen noodle nutrition facts, it would still have a better understanding of the US Constitution than Lauren fucking Boebert
— Liam Nissan™ (@theliamnissan) June 21, 2023

Only in Toronto can a mayor wreck the city for 8 years, carry on an affair with a staffer for 2 of them, run for re-election assuming it won't be found out, resign when it is, refuse to answer questions about it, and STILL feel entitled to endorse a candidate to replace them.
— Marc.Raving.Mad. (@MarcRavingMad) June 22, 2023

yo everyone offended about the titanic sub jokes: sorry we ruined twitters notoriously healthy discourse
— Myka Fox (@MykaFox) June 21, 2023

while watching as a bunch of clowns stuff themselves into a clown car, swerve the car on a gigantic banana peel, then crash into a banana creme pie the size of a pool: nothing about this is funny.
— lauren (@NotABigJerk) June 21, 2023

it literally could not be https://t.co/wM8qcqG5a0
— ashley ray is ON TOUR (@theashleyray) June 21, 2023

what stage of capitalism is investing in someone's death https://t.co/htK8aPmRvW
— Hurt CoPain (@SaeedDiCaprio) June 21, 2023

Here's a reason I'm a pro-mockery of the OceanGate fiasco: that whole "regulations stifle innovation" thing that crops up in their PR to present the whole "untested and unlicensed" thing as a feature rather than a bug: people who want us eating heavy metals for breakfast say that
— Alexandra Erin | alexandraerin@peoplemaking.games (@AlexandraErin) June 21, 2023

the filter choice here is honestly spectacular https://t.co/LH7EeLETvg
— jordan (@JordanUhl) June 21, 2023

I could not write this headline even if you gave me infinite monkeys and infinite keyboards and infinite time pic.twitter.com/c6wwPvrKjF
— Ed Solomon (@ed_solomon) June 22, 2023

The sub story has everything. Billionaires. Logitech controllers. A stepson seeing Blink 182. Conversations about what is funny and what isn't. Rescue missions. The Titanic. Orcas. pic.twitter.com/cTDduwnwTe
— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) June 21, 2023

Close enough https://t.co/xVeNRMHoAg pic.twitter.com/Oef6PComuA
— Alex (@AlexShaneMoore) June 21, 2023

Nobody has ever done a Twitter Main Character speedrun like the Blink-182 Submarine Stepson.

He's reached new horizons in posting on this website.

Few situations will automatically engender goodwill like his and he immediately set it all ablaze. pic.twitter.com/Az5WxBAbRV
— Mike Beauvais (@MikeBeauvais) June 22, 2023

Billionaire: We're lost at sea in the Titanic tour submarine

Stepson at blink-182: pic.twitter.com/W9943biVP6
— Pizza Dad (@Pizza__Dad) June 21, 2023

i love that if you google "submarine" rn it tells you the news but then it also says "PS did you hear about this fucking guy" pic.twitter.com/OB1zoPECGj
— soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) June 22, 2023

Bro 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/9obDZ8YB6B
— ♛Ultra Ego ℳelgeta (@OGMelo_) June 22, 2023

nvm https://t.co/NBGXUHBdbf
— yara. (@pobrecitayarita) June 21, 2023

 
June 22

I totally forgot about this but it has been brought to my attention that I am a prophet https://t.co/P5JctIvnMN
— Phineas (@Phineas) June 22, 2023

https://t.co/01z1ACH6KE pic.twitter.com/hVLrGhqx7p
— atomly (@atomly) June 22, 2023

I'm serious as a heart attack when I say I firmly believe Matt Groening is a time traveler. https://t.co/TeO5a9to44
— Naima Cochrane (@naima) June 22, 2023

I can't even look at the sinking titanic STD ads in LA today pic.twitter.com/IrcAHqAINL
— djleej.bsky.social 🪩 (@Lee_Jameson) June 22, 2023

lmao pic.twitter.com/yr7cXabBBU
— van winkle (@hornyculprit) June 22, 2023

cnn guy said "in 1912 titanic took thousands of lives and now in 2023 she takes more right at her bow" ok now don't blame my girl for these five, that was not on her
— ashley ray is ON TOUR (@theashleyray) June 22, 2023

Critics Say Submersible Should've Been Tested With Poorer Passengers First https://t.co/9R0nIy0MpM pic.twitter.com/QEAIflQsAx
— The Onion (@TheOnion) June 22, 2023

not helping the poor is never about a lack of resources pic.twitter.com/5rnuIRLjsI
— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) June 22, 2023

we did it pic.twitter.com/k6nozyQWG7
— Helldude Classic (@allahliker) June 22, 2023

wait, so there was almost-certain proof the sub had been crushed available days ago, and all the news orgs still just ran with Oxygen Countdowns & reports about how they could still be alive based on random ocean noises? that is way darker than any joke we made on here, damn. https://t.co/LiOAsIGy41
— broccoli rob 🥦 (@turnip_tops) June 22, 2023

On the left: the interior of James Cameron's submersible, the Deep Sea Challenger. It cost $10 million. On the right: the interior of the Titan. pic.twitter.com/9WyMjbdATm
— Dr. Crystal Fleming クリスタル (@alwaystheself) June 22, 2023

Pornhub Releases Graphic Illustrating Depth Of Submersible Compared With 10-Inch Cock https://t.co/8eYNBKwO77 pic.twitter.com/5LT5rG9Bwf
— The Onion (@TheOnion) June 22, 2023

none of us are seeing heaven https://t.co/MWGjXLfmVn
— erin 🌈 (@_erinmckenziee) June 22, 2023

"is it really necessary to give cyclists a safety cushion?" asks man using phone while driving https://t.co/a7XJjeEBtz
— Nik DeCosta-Klipa (@NikDeCostaKlipa) June 22, 2023

I'm hungry! pic.twitter.com/g1sfTIOZw3
— Chris Locke (@chrislockeworld) June 22, 2023

"We should not have quoted him in our newsletter" is perhaps the funniest imaginable response that could come from a Moms For Liberty chapter that quoted Adolf Hitler in its newsletter.

OOPS, WE DID A HITLER!! 🙄 https://t.co/TrrAGZRv7d
— Rex Huppke (@RexHuppke) June 22, 2023

"Uhhh I hope they both lose!!"

No, I need Zuckerberg to kill this AfriKKKaner demon so hard there's no possibility of an open casket funeral. There is no nuance or ambiguity here, Mark is our guy, I could not be less critical in my support for him. Glory to Meta. https://t.co/X7aB5OzKs7
— The Creature (@anzu_is_online) June 22, 2023

What pic.twitter.com/KSXTRonJU0
— Stop Cop City (@JoshuaPHilll) June 22, 2023

kylie minogue doing the AI padam voice funniest person i know 😭😭 pic.twitter.com/VAPEj7mX9Z
— emily blunt's manager (@twiceblunt) June 22, 2023

if you pointed out to aaron rodgers that you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway he'd be able to summon enough spiritual energy to teleport to alpha centauri and start conjuring new planets https://t.co/q4TBizLCeJ
— Jon Bois (@jon_bois) June 22, 2023

Holy hell…this response! 🔥🔥🔥 pic.twitter.com/3UITJLnBru
— Dana Goldberg (@DGComedy) June 22, 2023

Marcus Smart's veteran leadership in Memphis pic.twitter.com/x5DF2EVfpY
— The NBA Chicken 🏆🃏🏹 (@NbaChicken) June 22, 2023

mike dunleavy as soon as the cameras were off: https://t.co/Vby7Lt62nf pic.twitter.com/G5tckraoDB
— Molly Morrison (@mollyhannahm) June 22, 2023

we finally get the sequel to this https://t.co/rmEBV2CmNr pic.twitter.com/D0nqY0me8A
— Rob Perez (@WorldWideWob) June 22, 2023

Y'all hated Jordan Poole and wanted him gone then he got traded for the guy y'all hate the most in the NBA LMAOOOOOOO
— m1ke (@mikebadge) June 22, 2023

Joe Biden Jordan Poole
in DC in DC
🤝 https://t.co/zMb6SqfYFc
— sreekar (@sreekyshooter) June 22, 2023

pic.twitter.com/7SN5loovwf
— Rodger Sherman (@rodger) June 22, 2023

Giving Raptors Twitter a guy named Dick is already out of control
— Talking Raptors (@TalkingRaptors) June 23, 2023

We got Dick! We Got Dick! pic.twitter.com/u6zRSPiHya
— Freddie Rivas 🇨🇦🇳🇮 (@FreddieRivas) June 23, 2023

if you like creepy whistlers and segues this is for you pic.twitter.com/DUMs2HTB1G
— Matt O'Brien (@matt_obrien) June 22, 2023

Need to know how much money this dude has burned. Toronto's own Connor Roy https://t.co/cLXSSfIdkB
— Richie Assaly (@rdassaly) June 22, 2023

Beardless Galifianakis feels like something we weren't meant to see… that's so fucked up https://t.co/0qro6QktKX
— Nick Miller (@NickMillerMusic) June 22, 2023

Shower Food Review 71: Whole Peking Duck - I took some time off to just relax. Each day I try to improve myself but I realized if you keep pushing the envelope one day it's going to break. Anyways this was one of the most decadent meals I've ever eaten in the shower. 10/10 pic.twitter.com/fCZYpmUAEA
— gaz (@gazpachomachine) June 22, 2023

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: June 23, 2023

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