Today, I received an update, still no Kate, Prince would renovate, James Harden tried to block his own teammate, and much more from this week in funny tweets.

March 15

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving yall money now.
— ¥ (@LAYSAINTLAURENT) March 15, 2024

Pornhub banned, TikTok banned, the baconator meal cost $15. This the shit they were talking about in revelations
— ok, devon (@Kokokokokokoaa) March 15, 2024

Been awhile since I received a truly astounding dating app intro message pic.twitter.com/B5XnYvlXSr
— Maggie Serota (@maggieserota) March 15, 2024

I was at IKEA yesterday and this guy goes "Do you have any idea how to get out of here?"

Without missing a beat I say, "Buddy, I been in here for three days"

Guy didn't even crack a smile. WTF
— Ben Wexler (@mrbenwexler) March 15, 2024

Forgot how awful this is pic.twitter.com/SB3eo7t0A3
— Eoin Higgins (@EoinHiggins_) March 16, 2024

Why did Bernie Sanders delete this banger?! 😭 pic.twitter.com/9b0qE7IdlO
— Trap Queen Enthusiast (@marionumber4) March 15, 2024

if you're on a boeing flight it's not cringe anymore to clap when the plane lands.
— ally (@missmayn) March 16, 2024

ok boeing killed a guyhttps://t.co/oUDMKEb5fv pic.twitter.com/DJzvO5Yw9U
— Jamie 🇵🇸 (@JTommins) March 15, 2024

So Boeing killed that guy and that'll just be that and nothing will change right? Just want to make sure etc
— Gareth Reynolds (@reynoldsgareth) March 15, 2024

"And then I accidentally killed my wife…just kidding" pic.twitter.com/CCWTmji908
— 👽brittny pierre🪩 (@sleep2dream) March 16, 2024

This is so weird. pic.twitter.com/DP99mp6yHE
— Damien Nelson 🇵🇸 (@5onthe5) March 15, 2024

This Airbnb has a 9/11 themed chess board pic.twitter.com/r38sHwoYTG
— Jerome Chandrahasen (@JeromeChandra) March 16, 2024

I will watch this every time it comes up lmao HIIIIII BABY https://t.co/PHLoQCmTOe
— Jezebel's Gem 🩷 (@AmandaDannielle) March 15, 2024

pic.twitter.com/mp7Eyy5qqi
— Dumpling Queen 🍉 (@LadyDumplings) March 16, 2024

He's playing a God who teams up with Russell Crowe's Zeus to solve a crime. It's being written and directed by Shane Black, it's called 'The Nice Guys 2', and it has no relation to the rest of the MCU. https://t.co/rGVUSOSsnc
— Chris Towers is the Riley Greene Preservation Soc (@CTowersCBS) March 15, 2024

just remembered about the existence of the best video ever
pic.twitter.com/b14AlIm2An
— 🍸 (@discopiigs) March 15, 2024

This is the dream: to pass away and be eulogized by the world's greatest/most charismatic public speaker. pic.twitter.com/yyoTHwi1GZ
— Michael A. Balazo (@mbalazo) March 16, 2024

Why he eat them up like this? pic.twitter.com/GU87sAOtsW
— Queen Thicktoria, Esq.'s Superseding InDICKment (@VeeCeeMurphy76) March 15, 2024

A smart thing to do when you're embarrassed about not being invited to a party is to immediately do something that draws way more attention to that pic.twitter.com/menrBgLar8
— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) March 16, 2024

Ngl if you believed lil wayne has ever been in a drug free environment you deserve to get scammed https://t.co/f9lb1hgkT4
— Carter 3 (@ThaNewestCarter) March 15, 2024

being the jobless beard of an unimaginably rich man who leaves me alone is the absolute fuckin dream. some people have all the luck https://t.co/2JBMAj2tQz
— habitual line-stepper (@alaskastardust) March 15, 2024

I gave my husband the entire update on Kate Middleton including all the conspiracy theories and he listened politely and when I was finished he said, who is Kate Middleton?
— Cheersmom (@cheersmom) March 15, 2024

I feel like two of the three most high profile royal wives of our lifetimes were pretty openly like "hey marrying into this family is absolutely the most terrifying and fucked up and mental illness inducing thing I could ever imagine" and now the third one is literally missing
— maddie, hot dog enthusiast (@damnitmadeline) March 15, 2024

Has anyone checked Kate Middleton's attic for a half-played game of Jumanji? I just don't think we can rule anything out at this stage.
— Zoe Markillie (@MissMarkillie) March 15, 2024

One of the funniest Prince stories is the time he rented Carlos Boozer's house in LA and then massively renovated it without telling him, including installing a hair salon on a spare bedroom. pic.twitter.com/UBdaDPWszV
— Mike Beauvais (@MikeBeauvais) March 15, 2024

March 16

the people who say exercising only needs to take up 30 minutes of your day clearly aren't taking into account the two hours u need to sit in ur workout clothes and hype urself up
— chase (@_chase_____) March 16, 2024

this man is my king https://t.co/8XphG9iLR3
— ian karmel (@IanKarmel) March 16, 2024

Mike huge fan, please give Jake Paul significant head trauma 🙏🏿 thank you https://t.co/K9eYVF7H3z
— 🇵🇸 Gol D. Ross 🇯🇲 (@DoNotBanRoss) March 16, 2024

Jalen Brunson noticed Keon Ellis was looking around for a screen, so Jalen baits him with a fake signal … see ya later. pic.twitter.com/05jxIcsZ77
— Rob Perez (@WorldWideWob) March 17, 2024

"children are present" ok, does that mean she has to change every lyric about drinking and having sex? she's a young adult and her music is very clearly ABOUT her experience as a young adult, if you bring kids to her show then that's on you https://t.co/mIwNjdAMHC
— sydney 🌐✨ (@clarabellecows) March 16, 2024

If your city's bank gets successfully robbed by 5th graders then you don't deserve the money and they do. Simple as https://t.co/hq02Rnz5yS
— Soham (@SohamGadre) March 17, 2024

happy birthday cillian murphy and barry keoghan and saoirse ronan and colin farrell and paul mescal and andrew scott and ayo edebiri ☘️
— bethany (@fiImgal) March 17, 2024

it's her day https://t.co/jbc52yJwQX pic.twitter.com/499PSPja54
— lesbian schmidt (@halesinparis) March 17, 2024

The fish in the Chicago River looking at their friends: pic.twitter.com/OlDzyKfc3M
— Keith (@nagy_minaj) March 16, 2024

They'll kill you carp https://t.co/9TXR3bWAUW
— Jamila Jamil (@finestsoup) March 16, 2024

pic.twitter.com/OUOR2YOpm0 https://t.co/3kmhZpPApb
— Louis Staples (@LouisStaples) March 16, 2024

"I don't like America & I didn't want to be in Georgia for 4 months" she's so real for this https://t.co/nY7NyAcbyc
— Sam Stryker (@sbstryker) March 16, 2024

COVID/MEASLES 2024. pic.twitter.com/ArFnnIhhIF
— Middle Age Riot (@middleageriot) March 16, 2024

Bi-Centennial Room holds 350 https://t.co/DJyDZxwKBV
— 💙🇨🇦 Nana Gale (@RagingLibNana) March 16, 2024

What if we, and hear me out now, decided to be our own country for a day? https://t.co/ZsPWP4j4Ol
— David Moscrop (@David_Moscrop) March 16, 2024

Toni Morrison hated Hamilton and its casting of actors of color to whitewash the racism of the characters so much that she funded a play that mocked LMM before she died. https://t.co/8TYSQ2ArVM
— M Y A S S I N J A C K P O T (@vodkasnowflake) March 16, 2024

Damn girl, are you a Boeing plane?

Because you're falling apart, but I'd still take you to visit my family
— Bron dot com (@brondotcomputer) March 17, 2024

"When one door closes, another one opens." -Boeing
— Deonandan (@deonandan) March 16, 2024

Look, I'm no detective - but if I was trying to find a missing middle-aged rich lady who was tired of her shitty husband, I'd at least *ask* Pete Davidson.
— Eliza Skinner #wgastrong (@elizaskinner) March 16, 2024

pic.twitter.com/eWW8FOhyW0
— Wolverton Thief of Impossible Objects (@WolvertonComic) March 16, 2024

The password is: Unwatchable. pic.twitter.com/idGMIEee5s
— Andy Kindler (@AndyKindler) March 16, 2024

March 17

This is what Twitter ads feel like now pic.twitter.com/N3IMOfKv0o
— Arthouse Shawn Levy (@firagawalkwthme) March 18, 2024

Actually the opposite Dave https://t.co/AzxVoZZgsD pic.twitter.com/dgvmTQtNTK
— Real Fake Doctor Paul Bland (@blandCinema) March 18, 2024

👍 https://t.co/QLY3hoCBNu pic.twitter.com/oQh3Wk6RGH
— chirping bird (@ChrpngBrd) March 17, 2024

My head hurts. Millions of Americans say they want/need a dictator, "bloodbath" Trump. Canadians with similar misdirected grievances whine about $0.03 hike, travel the country freely in their silly trucks w adolescent flags, & complain that PMJT is a dictator. The ignorance is 💔
— Ted St. Godard (@StGodardTed) March 17, 2024

Pierre Pollievre started a chant to defund the CBC at his rally in Fredericton.

He then claimed the CBC wasn't covering his rally because of bias.

I just heard this on the CBC, who covered his rally.

I can't with this BS.
— Liz LeClair (she/her) (lizleclairhfx @ bskysocial) (@liz_hallett) March 17, 2024

Literally me loading into the empty bottle in 2013 wtf bro https://t.co/NwVYbXM3JO
— Ryley walker (@ryleywalker) March 17, 2024

This dude got CD-R's wrapped in cloth at the merch table https://t.co/qbIiKvn4Kk
— Ryley walker (@ryleywalker) March 17, 2024

This dude about to wake the whole DIY house w his loud ass motorized air mattress pump https://t.co/qbIiKvn4Kk
— Ryley walker (@ryleywalker) March 17, 2024

This is what white people looked like in 2008 https://t.co/SufMfiQFnY
— Kafka, esq. ⚾️🔙 (@metalgearobama) March 17, 2024

Final scene of the Bob Dylan movie pic.twitter.com/WqQvjSIdY1
— vincent (@VINCE_HANEY) March 18, 2024

pic.twitter.com/27wc3RKdm6
— Jason Strummer (@JasonStrummer) March 17, 2024

what's funny is that Jake has the body language of being terrified the tiger is gonna kill him but he's the one with the fake tiger https://t.co/tzZo8gjIky
— Max (@welp_max) March 17, 2024

Fires and floods? https://t.co/92HZWqgXkV
— TDot Resident (@TDotResident) March 17, 2024

https://t.co/sBVSQ2rFvq pic.twitter.com/oK269FaOoN
— Fred Delicious 🍆 (@Fred_Delicious) March 17, 2024

Turbulence hits different knowing these bitches are actually falling apart
— big honkin caboose (@itsmegangraves) March 17, 2024

Hi, yes, I have a question. Thank you. Um, what the actual fuck? pic.twitter.com/v6Qy7L2JbY
— Jason Karsh (@jkarsh) March 17, 2024

What's a book that is a red flag for you if you're on a date and someone says it's their favorite? For me it's a book of Polaroids of me sleeping, each one taken on a different night over the course of years, sometimes from the ceiling, and some of the photos show me *older*
— Gunton Blurpus (@CentipedeMouse) March 17, 2024

Knew exactly what they were doing. Watch Gradey say "f**k it…" at the beginning of this, and Anthony re-position himself. pic.twitter.com/N70ryyaeC1
— Rob Perez (@WorldWideWob) March 18, 2024

It's very funny that the Crown ended a year before the IRL Royal Family just PISSED through plot like it was a season of a Shonda show
— Adam Sass 🌹🍇 (@TheAdamSass) March 18, 2024

do I think King Charles is dead? no. do I think it's hilarious that the Royals have lost all public trust in their word? yes.
— ella dawson (@brosandprose) March 18, 2024

Her resurrecting on Easter, what a stunt queen. https://t.co/g63Xauq3uB
— cameron 🩸 (@mother_cuntress) March 17, 2024

4yo: Are princesses in this world?

Me: Yes, princesses exist in real life.

4yo: They do? Well where are they?

Me, laughing: Very good question.
— Dr. Chicken (@steak_chicken) March 17, 2024

Whoever convinced conservatives that beautiful women with huge naturals are triggering the libs is playing chess on some dimension I can't even fathom and I am asking them to never stop pic.twitter.com/m0o1wjfHBu
— Laura Jedeed is Elsewhere (@LauraJedeed) March 17, 2024

March 18

Conservatives in a couple days: https://t.co/1k88qSb8Ne pic.twitter.com/V8wzNymTjG
— Trap Queen Enthusiast (@marionumber4) March 18, 2024

Hey "Clownvoy" supporters who complain "we lost our freedom" and "Canada is a Dictatorship". I dare you to try walking around in Moscow waving a "F-ck Putin" flag.
— Christopher Byrne 🇨🇦🇺🇦 (@CBinVAN) March 18, 2024

Kate Middleton Kate Middleton
before Mar. 18: on Mar. 18: pic.twitter.com/9abreUzLdx
— Mike Beauvais (@MikeBeauvais) March 18, 2024

Buckingham Palace: "These rumours are getting out of hand. We need to release some of the blurriest 0.3 MP Nokia 7650 footage imaginable of a woman who looks only vaguely like Kate. Have it shot from behind some parked cars. Nobody recognises them. Yeah, that'll sort it."
— Fancy Brenda 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ (they/she) (@SpillerOfTea) March 18, 2024

The Royal Family is doing casting calls for blurry white women with brown hair.

Blurry girlies everywhere are like this is our time
— Imani Gandy (Orca's Version) ⚓️ (@AngryBlackLady) March 18, 2024

I have been subjected to thousands of perfectly clear telescopic pap photos of this lady for about 15 years and now all of a sudden every pic looks like it was shot on a early 2000s webcam. https://t.co/8hEfc6r6lS
— Spookie Sapperstein (@zaynah237_) March 18, 2024

The phrasing of this tweet https://t.co/Xa7WeX08fd
— not paul (atreides) (@paulswhtn) March 18, 2024

cracking up imagining the Royals getting worse briefings every hour.

"sir the peasants think ur sons a wife beater." "they found his mistress's stolen Chinese furniture from the Qing dynasty." "sir erm they think there's a clone at the plant store." "sir theyre sad ur not dead."
— ☀️ hi im huma ☀️ (@WimminsRea) March 18, 2024

Okay so this dude was one HUNDRED percent murdered. https://t.co/t3txrAIOyi
— Zane Schacht - Voice Goblin 🐀 (@VoicesByZane) March 18, 2024

cool how "missing princess was maybe secretly murdered" is the wild conspiracy theory the world provides right now and "boeing killed a man" is just a thing that happened https://t.co/tHdsinET27
— ashley ray🍦ice cream money out 3/1 (@theashleyray) March 19, 2024

getting to the bottom of this kate middleton stuff. good for him. https://t.co/c0v9VqPmgf
— Liz Charboneau (@lizchar) March 18, 2024

.@jonstewart's most intense interview? It involves a Kevlar front on The Daily Show desk, snipers on the roof, and former Pakistani president Pervez Musharraf #AfterTheCut pic.twitter.com/AHHjEVytVn
— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) March 18, 2024

March 19

💀 https://t.co/8SLxWGu3Su pic.twitter.com/1yTnhvNgS2
— WZRD (@hndrx79_) March 19, 2024

concept: a movie where jesse plemons just has a nice time and is neither witness to or responsible for atrocities
— hannah strong (@thethirdhan) March 19, 2024

it's come to my attention that bill simmons said sydney sweeney is his "favorite actress" and i truly cannot stop laughing
— LeeAnnWombat (@JonnyAuping) March 19, 2024

The Zone of Interest is quickly becoming the Parasite of 2023, a great, incisive film that's been hailed by a lot of rich Hollywood people who, it gradually becomes clear, didn't really comprehend the movie at all.
— Zach Schonfeld (@zzzzaaaacccchhh) March 19, 2024

AMERICA RUNS ON WHAT? pic.twitter.com/sUPp3f3ark
— gabe (@ghostgabe_) March 19, 2024

Who Framed Roger Rabbit is one of those movies where as a kid you're like, "this might be the greatest movie of all time", and then you watch it again as an adult and you're like wait how the fuck did they do this.
— mary (@theoceanblooms) March 19, 2024

is HE smarter than a 5th grader? https://t.co/Z6XEAjgaK8
— hannah (@tiredhannah0) March 19, 2024

Does bisexual means twice as sexual or once every other sexual
— Stone Cold Jane Austen (@AbbyHiggs) March 19, 2024

Everything is DEI now. Didn't get into law school? DEI. Got a parking ticket? DEI. Plane lost its wheel? DEI. Your wife left you? DEI
— Imani Gandy (Orca's Version) ⚓️ (@AngryBlackLady) March 19, 2024

Elon realizing this is the first time he's ever spoken to a black person who knows he's a racist pic.twitter.com/9ftadv8E6Q
— evan (@esjesjesj) March 19, 2024

A based Don Lemon doesn't exi- pic.twitter.com/gGHZHaM5AY
— Trap Queen Enthusiast (@marionumber4) March 19, 2024

Is Elon the first tech guy so stupid that he was radicalized by a platform he himself owns
— alex goldman (@AGoldmund) March 19, 2024

"This new hate crime law might effect me," is an excellent way of telling on yourself. https://t.co/eyNxWxz5zS
— Alex Staniforth (@Alex4Craig_Dudd) March 19, 2024

Did... did the big bad wolf write this? pic.twitter.com/7BvIVUjT6y
— Steven Nash (@nashienet) March 19, 2024

you invite the Irish leader for a fun St Patrick's event and he ends up lecturing you about forgetting your people's legacy and history https://t.co/bVJ2SEehUn
— abdullah says CEASEFIRE NOW 🇵🇸 (@AShihipar) March 19, 2024

I just saw a British person asking why Americans love the Irish so much.

Exhibit 1: https://t.co/OaP08oO8fJ
— Florida Chris (@chrislongview) March 19, 2024

Guys I'm cryingggg pic.twitter.com/mEkmtlmdqM
— r (@raashidaaaa) March 19, 2024

You couldn't do another 9/11 in 2024. The plane would fall apart in air before it hit the building
— zach reinert (@zachreinert0) March 19, 2024

JB Smoove should play Q in the new Bond
— 7/11 Truther (@DaveMcNamee3000) March 19, 2024

Crazy how literally everywhere you look online and in the news affordability is literally the only thing people can talk about and no one who can do anything about it gives a shit
— Abdul Malik, WGC (@MarxGasol) March 20, 2024

I don't care where Kate Middleton is really but I am very interested in how to disappear completely for months while making only vague allusions about returning to work girl drop the tutorial
— girl fieri (@realgirl_fieri) March 19, 2024

My Kansan dad wanted his ashes spread in Ireland pic.twitter.com/SzOROF9Ew9
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) March 19, 2024

Sports in 2014: We can't ever put a team in Las Vegas, just the idea of being *near* gambling is a bridge too far for us.

Sports in 2024: Using promo code "ADDICT", you can now wager the deed to your parents' house on our games through our official league app.
— Velodus (@velodus) March 19, 2024

Once you've taken a nap with a dog in the middle of the day, how can you continue to believe in capitalism even a little bit
— Alissa Nutting (@AlissaNutting) March 19, 2024

March 20

the gay vs straight divide has never been captured so perfectly pic.twitter.com/Ese2AfC72e
— jack (@fkajack) March 20, 2024

If they dont start the movie with #Beetlejuice still waiting in the waiting room and finally having his number called, Itll be a missed opportunity to land the punchline of a 36 year old joke https://t.co/HfQMWgmSSE
— ΩStuntman MikeΩ (@Stuntman_Mik3) March 20, 2024

"she has her mother's eyes. And agent" is a lethal headline they ate that😭😭 https://t.co/Zdd5LouEYN
— chris (@ATR3lDES) March 20, 2024

Getting older and watching Office Space means recognizing that these are the only two characters who understand how the world works pic.twitter.com/RanptXjbzR
— Norm Charlatan (@normcharlatan) March 20, 2024

this man gets dumber and dumber, every single day. pic.twitter.com/yeHRXK8uEf
— 2024 Hyundai Santa Fe Fan (@jffxns) March 20, 2024

Cybertruck owner: My cybertruck's door doesn't fit

Elon: That's actually not a problem because it's due to the fact that we made it bad pic.twitter.com/rYpneeTJDg
— evan (@esjesjesj) March 20, 2024

there's no way he can do it...unless he puts on the biggest talent show this town's ever seen https://t.co/6y0YeRstFC
— JRR Jokien (@joshcarlosjosh) March 20, 2024

Truly sucks that the most imminent threat to my civil and political rights is also fucking hilarious https://t.co/2ERauFdIVr
— W.E.B. DaBoi (@Tyre_94) March 20, 2024

Who established the carbon tax in Canada? Answer: Conservative PM Stephen Harper in 2008.
Who established the GST in Canada? Answer : Conservative PM. Brian Mulroney in 1991. Poilievre is full of 💩
— Kimberly May (@ugottabekiddin) March 20, 2024

My favorite genre of anything is "I never said that" / "Let's play the clip" https://t.co/ooUXOTX9fp
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) March 20, 2024

"Don't compare Poilievre to Trump" well within two minutes of this you get the quote, "I knocked on the door of one 76-year-old retired trucker. And he, despite being a big, burly, strong man, he was literally in tears," language that is pulled directly from Trump's playbook. https://t.co/9v7HOUfJmy
— Clare Blackwood (@clareblackwood) March 20, 2024

Here's the thing. I love this show. Watch it all the time. Every politician who has ever been on it has had the good grace to laugh at themselves. With Mr. Poilievre, not a fucking chance.
Tells me all I need to know. https://t.co/aUwcMVbQaA
— alan drummond (@alandrummond2) March 20, 2024

Now that the government is in charge of sports betting, does that free up the mob to do like…high speed railway construction or universal healthcare?
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) March 21, 2024

wow looks like MLB brought to you by FanDuel and presented by MGM could have a massive gambling scandal on their hands
— Andrew Lawrence (@ndrew_lawrence) March 20, 2024

This is why we never paid for interpreters
— Montreal Expos (@Montreal_Expos) March 20, 2024

They should punish Ohtani with a reverse Jordan. Make Him Hoop
— rachel (@rachelmillman) March 20, 2024

I can't just fucking turn 60 you idiot. https://t.co/qszrbeidVO
— dubz 3.0 (@dubz3dot0) March 20, 2024

i don't understand was i supposed to kill him https://t.co/AsiR2VUiXG
— honey i am a guy and i shrunk the kids (@snowrespecter) March 20, 2024

Protagonists killing Klan members is a genre that deserves a comeback https://t.co/PKEx7x6xCM
— Okiro (@TheFirstOkiro) March 20, 2024

Predictably the replies to this are filled with conservatives being mad that they might get to work less and have more leisure time lmao https://t.co/ILxe20Eflw pic.twitter.com/S6z2e8XqGf
— Trap Queen Enthusiast (@marionumber4) March 21, 2024

Gonna have to be dragged off this website pic.twitter.com/dzFFRHKnNb
— Fiona Small (@FionaSmall) March 20, 2024

There's no way to prepare you for what this sounds like, I can only insist that it's one of the greatest things I've ever heard. https://t.co/IX5uv6guja
— The author, Séamas O'Reilly (@shockproofbeats) March 20, 2024

date: so… you just adopted 3 chipmunks as your children?

dave seville: no, no that'd be crazy. I'm also their band manager
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) March 20, 2024

TOP 5 WORST BEATLES ACCESSORIES:

5. I Want to Hold Your Hand Bag
4. All You Need is Gloves
3. Cummerbund Together
2. The Continuing Story of Bungalow Billfold
1. She Loves Shoes
— Dave Merritt (@GoldenSeals) March 21, 2024

Pulp is playing Toronto on 9/11 and the ticket price plus service charge are like two planes crashing into my darn wallet!
— Michael A. Balazo (@mbalazo) March 20, 2024

decriminalize sex work and criminalize online recipes prefaced with 7 paragraphs of blogging.
— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) March 21, 2024

.@SouthwestAir Hey no issues with the flight today, everything fine so far. Just wondering if we are ever gonna change out the Chopped episodes on your TV? It's been Pasta Pasta and Chocolate Frenzy since 2019 and Chopped has 59 seasons. @TheTedAllen can you help?
— Amy Miller (@amymiller) March 21, 2024

my friend max has been saving the wax from babybel cheese for like 6 months.

today, i received an update: pic.twitter.com/WbpiSI1P2H
— shawn (@hoglord666) March 21, 2024

March 21

every friend group: pic.twitter.com/AGjwcCsDp4
— ed (@erar97) March 21, 2024

Never forget, the best March madness tweet of all time pic.twitter.com/006beCXowm
— Cheapie13 (@Cheapie13) March 21, 2024

I'm doing a March Madness bracket for the first time and there's a guy who takes it really seriously that asked how I made my picks and I told him "I ranked them by prettiest font" and that's the most disappointed a man has ever looked at me.
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) March 21, 2024

after months of watching nba games, it's always tough pivoting back to ncaa in march. in college ball dribbling is illegal. players have to roll the ball to each other. whenever it's caught the ref honks a little horn called a "friendship horn." i don't know why they call it that
— Jon Bois (@jon_bois) March 21, 2024

I'm not kidding when I tell you James Harden contesting HIS OWN TEAMMATES SHOT is funniest thing I've ever seen happen on a basketball court 😭 pic.twitter.com/HINDl01Ivi
— Oluwajomiloju (@JomiAdeniran) March 21, 2024

Shohei Ohtani in between innings pic.twitter.com/D06H5ydQTg
— Jeremy (@Pimp_Lord619) March 21, 2024

am shocked to discover that the entire sports industry lashing itself to sports gambling is not working out
— Matthew Gertz (@MattGertz) March 21, 2024

If there was a man who lived in your town that everyone knew was attracted to his own daughter, that filed 6 bankruptcies, that called other people vermin & praised Hitler while facing 91 criminal indictments most likely that man would not be elected mayor. He would be shunned.
— NoelCaslerComedy🌙 (@caslernoel) March 21, 2024

Alabama decides it isn't backward enough, takes action https://t.co/AIVHo8cFdq
— John Harwood (@JohnJHarwood) March 21, 2024

Well, we're requiring her in the office three days a week starting today https://t.co/kxcP9flls5
— Justin Kirkland (@justinkirkland4) March 21, 2024

Profit margins taken by food retailers like Loblaws doubled over the pandemic. The carbon tax is not even close to being responsible for high grocery prices. Poilievre's senior advisor, Jenni Byrne, lobbies for Loblaws. Her disinformation campaign on the carbon tax has worked. pic.twitter.com/V7uGNUGDWK
— Unbranded (@Unbranded63) March 21, 2024

scientists here! this is happening because the color orange is orange. red is not orange and yellow is also not orange. follow for more scientist facts. https://t.co/EQj0mQWehd
— dee ✧˚•¸♡ 🎀 (@fairyartmother) March 21, 2024

Finding out I fall asleep to a 3-piece spicy being made actually makes MORE sense. https://t.co/rCQ4emxgsV
— Tre (@trestewart_) March 21, 2024

https://t.co/EBciiTc0YX pic.twitter.com/0QAgBOdenC
— Adam Ellis (@adamtotscomix) March 21, 2024

The nice thing about the Seinfeld DVD extras is every time Jerry Seinfeld starts talking, a caption swoops in to identify him. For anyone watching the SEINFELD DVD EXTRAS who might not be familiar with JERRY SEINFELD pic.twitter.com/hu0Prx7ZD6
— HarryHew (@harryhew) March 21, 2024

I am telling you now. That mf… that mf is not real https://t.co/D9zKiVtFNc
— Talking Raptors (@TalkingRaptors) March 22, 2024

me watching everybody loves raymond when I was 10 https://t.co/Mz7Nq3QXcE
— Elaine Benes Gesserit (@notdylm) March 22, 2024

So any donation to republicans goes to Trump first?

Republicans are about to learn a hilarious lesson in Trickle Down economics. https://t.co/dvhR3EHq9T
— Marmel (@Marmel) March 22, 2024

Whether it's Joe Biden canceling $6 billion in student debt or Donald Trump looking for donors to cancel $500 million of his own debt, both candidates have taken provocative stances on the subject of debt.
— New York Times Pitchbot (@DougJBalloon) March 22, 2024

whenever a blue check barges into the replies of a viral tweet pic.twitter.com/ewEdMqo3uP
— kabir 🐜 (@sausagehobbit) March 21, 2024

Yes so they don't die by the age of 3. https://t.co/MBNbueujHb
— Lisan al Gaib (@UncoolTimi) March 21, 2024

Biden and his supporters are officially further right than *Alex Jones* pic.twitter.com/oVmO05fMOk
— Holding Biden Accountable (@PushBidenLeft) March 22, 2024

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: March 22, 2024

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