Sarah Silverman The Exclaim! Questionnaire

Sarah Silverman The Exclaim! Questionnaire
What are you up to?
Writing on the Sarah Silverman Project (season three) with very talented writers who love farting, shitting, and simulating gay sex.

What are your current fixations?
I love the new show Mad Men on AMC. It's so, so great.

Why do you live where you do?
I like living in an apartment building because I like having neighbours. Even when I'm alone I know I'm in a building that is full of people. Plus I'm no good at being responsible for things being fixed and stuff. Plus constantly seeing people in the halls and lobby force you to be on your best behaviour and in a good mood.

Name something you consider a mind-altering work of art:
Magritte's "This is not a pipe" and the last episode of last season's Lost.

What has been your most memorable or inspirational gig and why?
Elvis Costello at the Beacon in NYC. They Might Be Giants opened for them. It was a perfect show.

What have been your career highs and lows?
Highs: Seinfeld, Larry Sanders, Mr. Show, SNL, The Aristocrats, Jesus Is Magic. Lows: Prom shows (stand up shows in the middle of the night for drunk prom kids. It gets ugly...) Getting fired from SNL, getting fired from a sitcom called Pride and Joy.

What's the meanest thing ever said to you before, during or after a gig?
"Show us your tits" and that I need to lose 20 lbs.

What should everyone shut up about?
I think everyone should shut up about your mother. She's a nice lady. What she does in the privacy of her bedroom is her business.

What traits do you most like and most dislike about yourself?
I like laughing and making people laugh (cheesy but true) and I don't like my inner thighs, my haunches, my unwanted hair, my cellulite and my anger.

What's your idea of a perfect Sunday?
All the guys over for football — they all bring their babies and it's like a petting zoo, I love it. Jimmy [Kimmel] cooks for everyone and we all feast. Everyone leaves by five and we hang out and have a lazy Sunday night.

What advice should you have taken, but did not?
"Don't ever contribute to Exclaim! magazine."

What would make you kick someone out of your band and/or bed, and have you?
Loud open-mouthed chewing and/or the snapping of gum, or just being a dick in general.

What do you think of when you think of Canada?
White people who say everything like a question, teenage punk styled summertime homeless kids that go home when it gets cold, hockey, SCTV, Asian people, McGill, getting stuck in the elevator in the Delta hotel in Montreal, how clean Toronto is, smoking pot in Vancouver and swearing I was going to write but never getting to it.

What was the first LP/cassette/CD/eight track you ever bought with your own money?
Paul McCartney's Tug of War and Talking Heads.

What was your most memorable day job?
Passing out flyers on the corner of MacDougal St. and 3rd St. in NYC.

How do you spoil yourself?
Stay in bed and watch TV and sleep.

If I wasn't a comedian I would be...
Working with apes or a musician.

What do you fear most?
Your balls.

What makes you want to take it off and get it on?
I can't even get my head around this question. It's so gay.

What has been your strangest celebrity encounter?
I met Charlie Rose in a subway station.

Who would be your ideal dinner guest, living or dead, and what would you serve them?
Fred Rogers or Ruth Gordon. Probably mac and cheese.

What does your mom wish you were doing instead?
Whatever it was she'd want me to keep it clean, sanitary and hydrate!

What song would you like to have played at your funeral?
"Long Ride Home" by Patty Griffin.