Keith The Exclaim! Questionnaire

Keith The Exclaim! Questionnaire
Who are you?
Keith, singer of Cause For Alarm.

What are you up to?
I'm up to my arse in shit at the moment and bored out of my mind to be answering these stupid questions.

Hometown and current HQ:

Current fixations:

Mind-altering work of art:
McDonalds golden arches.

Most memorable/inspiration gig and why?
Rome 1999. 1300 beautiful people in an amazing squat serving great food and beautiful Italian girls wanting amore!! Also a show in L.A. when in the middle of a brutal song hot and sweaty as a mother fucker I lost my pants and was wearing no draws... Let's just say shrinkage.

What should everyone shut up about?
Straight edge and all pc political bullshit.

Your greatest strength/weakness:
Compassion/collecting nazi memorabilia.

Your vital daily ritual:
I must shit before I leave the house.

Guilty pleasure:
Animal porn

If I wasn't playing music I would be…
A transvestite whore in a Canadian prison.

Your most memorable day job:
Mop man at Show World in Orlando, Florida.

Best/worst advice received:
While on tour keep my pubic hair short so not to catch lice.

Too much to list.

I would drop everything to play a benefit for...
Prostitutes wanting to unionize.

What makes you want to take it off and get it on?
Smoking cocaine.

What personal trait would make you kick someone out of your band and/or bed? And have you?
Being a whiner or born again Christian. Yes I have.

When I think of Canada, I think…
Pasty-skinned fat comedians...

Music and sex: Is there a difference?
Yes there is a difference and both are presently absent from my life.

Strangest brush with celebrity:
I gave David Bowie one of our CDs only to realise moments later that the case was empty, so i chased him and his wife down a few blocks away and explained what I had done. He removed the CD case from his pocket and I popped the CD in, his wife thought I was very cute. Of course I am leaving out all the mumbling I did being a huge David Bowie fan since the age of 9. Guess you had to be there.

What does your mom wish you were doing instead?
My mother's a drug addict, she probably wishes I was a pharmacist.