​Here's Every Arcade Fire Song, Ranked from Worst to Best

​Here's Every Arcade Fire Song, Ranked from Worst to Best
Photo by Guy Aroch
Given Arcade Fire's stature these days, it's hard to believe they have just four albums currently to their name. That will change come Friday (July 28) when the band release their fifth album, conceptual epic Everything Now, but before we get into the band's latest, we wanted to look back on the band's considerable catalogue: their albums, their EPs, their B-sides and one-offs.
So, we did just that: Five Exclaim! staffers took every single recorded Arcade Fire song to date — no remixes, no demos, no covers, no unrecorded songs and, since it's too early still, none of the Everything Now singles released so far —  and ranked them, from worst to best.
Some of the results were surprising, some weren't (Spoiler: Funeral still rips!), but you can decide that for yourself by reading, below, about Every Arcade Fire Song, Ranked from Worst to Best.
70. "Flashbulb Eyes"
An Arcade Fire song that makes you want to pull the plug on your eyes and your ears!
Sarah Murphy

69. "Women of a Certain Age"
This slapdash throwaway from The Reflektor Tapes EP aims for poignancy but ends up coming across as playfully sexist. Yikes.
Matthew Ritchie

68. "Apocrypha"
An attempt to spice up this plodding folk jam with a 9/8 time signature only added another beat of mediocrity per measure.
Matt Bobkin

67. "Surf City Eastern Bloc"
"Surf City Eastern Bloc" is shoddily recorded, and the song sounds held together by duct tape. This one's for diehards only.
Stephen Carlick

66. Reflektor Hidden Track
The ten-minute Reflektor "Hidden Track" contains snippets of "Reflektor" and other bits of music, all played backwards. Neat, but mostly a novelty.

65. "I'm Sleeping in a Submarine"
An early example of Win and Régine writing from a child's perspective. They'd get better at it.
Ian Gormely

64. "Vampire/Forest Fire"
Both the folksy first half and roaring climax overstay their welcome, but also show signs of the band's emotive promise.

63. "My Heart Is an Apple"
A plodding number with a silly conceit; an exhausted Win is "full" from eating his lover's heart.

62. "Broken Window"
"Keep the Car Running" B-side "Broken Window" isn't memorable enough to be an album cut, but it builds enough momentum to carry the listener to its end.

61. "Crucified Again"
I don't want to say anything mean about a song written in the wake of the 2010 earthquake in Haiti, but damn, this song is boring.

60. "Half Light I"
A glorified intro for "Half Light II," even the sweeping finale of "Half Light I" doesn't give it its own identity.

59. "Culture War"
The Suburbs' bonus track features uncharacteristically twangy guitars beneath incessant pondering on the cultural decimation in the modern era. We get it, Win.

58. "Here Comes the Night Time II"
Although less buoyant than its predecessor, this three-minute downtempo track kicks off Reflektor's second disc with cinematic flourish.

57. "Headlights Look Like Diamonds"
"Headlights Look Like Diamonds" sounds a lot like Broken Social Scene, which makes sense — on their 2003 debut EP, Arcade Fire were still honing their influences into a cohesive sound.

56. "Sprawl I (Flatland)"
This three-minute, sombre segue into The Suburbs standout "Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains)" is a nice amuse-bouche for the bombast to come.

55. "The Woodland National Anthem"
Evoking childlike whimsy with children's instrumentation was all the rage in the mid-aughts. This charming twee number was Arcade Fire's contribution.

54. "Soft Power"
Off The Reflektor Tapes EP, "Soft Power" will likely lull you into a deep sleep filled with dystopian dreams; the psychedelia doesn't mask the overwhelming hopelessness for humanity.

53. "Normal Person"
Contrary to Win Butler's claim at the start, this Reflektor track will restore anyone's faith in rock thanks to its scorching guitar.

52. "Half Light II (No Celebration)"
It doesn't have quite the same melodic hook as the more celebrated Suburbs cut "Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains)," but "Half Light II (No Celebration)" is a similarly atmospheric, affecting song.

51. "Joan of Arc"
Rejecting being a big rock band in song is a common trope. Few of those songs are good, fewer are danceable. This is both.