There's New 'Twin Peaks' Merch and It Sucks

There's New 'Twin Peaks' Merch and It Sucks
Since it first aired in 1990, Twin Peaks has been a deciding factor in music, fashion and culture. People dress like the characters, name their bands after the show and have entire Etsy stores dedicated to Twin Peaks themed merch. That's why, ahead of the show's third season, we're disappointed to tell you that the official new Twin Peaks merch sucks.

A new merch collection has just launched in the Showtime store, and none of it comes close to capturing the creepy, mystical spirit of the show.

There are hideous hoodies and t-shirts that look like they're straight outta Cafe Press. There's also a Log Lady t-shirt that's weirdly reminiscent of those sarcastic slogan shirts you get at a depressing mall kiosk.

There are tote bags and pillows that admittedly showcase the show's iconic chevron pattern, but also look like they were ripped from a Pier 1 Imports discount bin. For more absurd housewares, you can get a Twin Peaks scented candle

The only thing remotely interesting is the David Lynch Art collection, which compiles the director's drawings onto a variety of items. 

Here's hoping the third season of Twin Peaks is a little less ridiculous than this merch suggests. The show returns in early 2017.