August 27
Republicans: Lol you liberals get triggered on everything.
— The Bice Is Right (@Pro_Jones_) August 27, 2016
Me: Reagan was a bad president.
Republicans: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY
August 28
Welcome to narcotics anonymous for the morally superior. You don't have to take the high road.
— Creed (@novicefather) August 28, 2016
August 29
EDM Artist Avicii will DJ his last set this weekend. He's going out not with a whisper, but a BWANG-SKREE-SKREE-SKREE-BWOP-BWOP.
— Matt Starr (@matthewsstarr) August 29, 2016
August 30
If I could have dinner with anybody living or dead I'd pick the dead guy. Then I'd order two dinners and eat both. Fuck that guy. He's dead
— beth loves cake, so (@bourgeoisalien) August 31, 2016
How To Talk To A Woman When She's Wearing A Caterpillar P-5000 Powered Work Loader pic.twitter.com/ZgzJg26sLA
— David M Barnett (@davidmbarnett) August 30, 2016
August 31
'Merchant' brings all the goys to the bard
— Andy Ryan (@ItsAndyRyan) August 31, 2016
And they're like, this play's quite hard
In Shylock, Bill imbues
A clichéd portrayal of the Jews
you're going to need to be more specific pic.twitter.com/TUc6WBh9j2
— David Mack (@davidmackau) August 31, 2016
September 1
#TBT when my parents had a painting of our family in the bathroom that scared me even though it was literally of us pic.twitter.com/9jIOJKk3CB
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) September 1, 2016
you're beautiful the way you are. you dont need to have money, or 3 podcasts, or 2 podcasts. just be you and i guess just have the 1 podcast
— tara shoe (@tarashoe) September 1, 2016
September 2
[Poker]
— Marty Lawrence (@TeaAndCopy) September 2, 2016
ME: Jacks and five
DEALER: Now's not the time for 70s music. What cards do you have?
ME: Queen
DEALER: Get out
types of millenial: leprechaun, jacket, ambiguous sexuality, camgirl, art school barista, anti-masturbation crusader pic.twitter.com/aX8Hf94D0r
— merritt k (@merrittk) September 2, 2016