Faux skull, ABNORMAL, media not covering sword issues at all, 1990s seagulls, and much more from this week in funny tweets.<br>
<br>
<strong>September 17</strong><br>
&nbsp;
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">My dad couldn't find google chrome on his laptop, so I did this😂 <a href="https://t.co/og71r7TgUO">pic.twitter.com/og71r7TgUO</a></p>
— Alté gangster🇺🇸 (@ay_greatness) <a href="https://twitter.com/ay_greatness/status/1438773351128997896?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 17, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/69d4dkI1z9">pic.twitter.com/69d4dkI1z9</a></p>
— Old Person Online (@OldPersonOnline) <a href="https://twitter.com/OldPersonOnline/status/1438858720906289153?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 17, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I know an ancient god in disguise when I see one. <a href="https://t.co/ahtZEpXCN9">https://t.co/ahtZEpXCN9</a></p>
— Anthony Moll (@AnthonyWMoll) <a href="https://twitter.com/AnthonyWMoll/status/1438910515112198144?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 17, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">At this point, jimmy go ahead and eat world</p>
— Fossilized Tree Resin (@Jamberee13) <a href="https://twitter.com/Jamberee13/status/1439037746018934786?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 18, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">It didn't happen very often but Darth Vader had a great sense of humor. 😏😂 <a href="https://t.co/8zDAdE6atP">pic.twitter.com/8zDAdE6atP</a></p>
— Fred Schultz (@fred035schultz) <a href="https://twitter.com/fred035schultz/status/1438991469424123907?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 17, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">everyone SHUT UP or I'm going to miss my favorite news cycle of the year yet! <a href="https://t.co/vF1eCUshGz">pic.twitter.com/vF1eCUshGz</a></p>
— joanie caught a vibe (@laracroftbarbie) <a href="https://twitter.com/laracroftbarbie/status/1439072019832721408?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 18, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>September 18</strong><br>
&nbsp;
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">This is depressing on many levels <a href="https://t.co/sTo4hh0qFu">pic.twitter.com/sTo4hh0qFu</a></p>
— Dylan Viner (@dylanviner) <a href="https://twitter.com/dylanviner/status/1439310094869704710?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 18, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">U in his dms im blocked wat he sayin sis im nosey</p>
— miss martian (@f8the) <a href="https://twitter.com/f8the/status/1439303265221550082?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 18, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Stop saying 'happy anniversary to my partner in crime.'<br>
You do not commit crimes. You shop at Costco</p>
— Nathan Macintosh (@Nathanmacintosh) <a href="https://twitter.com/Nathanmacintosh/status/1439244807520538639?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 18, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">"guy fieri" is Italian for "fireman"</p>
— cullen "swamp trash" crawford (@HelloCullen) <a href="https://twitter.com/HelloCullen/status/1439335901453172737?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 18, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">In the Sopranos prequel movie, we will see Tony waking up in the morning and getting a himself a gun.</p>
— Noah Garfinkel (@NoahGarfinkel) <a href="https://twitter.com/NoahGarfinkel/status/1439243572901924864?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 18, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I asked my Lyft driver to drive as fast as he comfortably can and he just said "I am from Russia" and now I feel like we're about to break the sound barrier<br>
<br>
5 stars</p>
— sarah schauer 🦂 (@sarahschauer) <a href="https://twitter.com/sarahschauer/status/1439317893687046145?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 18, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">just found out british people call studying for your driving test "Driving Theory" ???? every single time with these people</p>
— shin megami tessei (@gaymoomin) <a href="https://twitter.com/gaymoomin/status/1439161251381354497?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 18, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>September 19</strong><br>
&nbsp;
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="und" dir="ltr">? <a href="https://t.co/sfMdDQcTOF">pic.twitter.com/sfMdDQcTOF</a></p>
— ? (@aliyahInterlude) <a href="https://twitter.com/aliyahInterlude/status/1439716815035326477?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 19, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">[high as shit, to the 7/11 cashier]: please sir , I beg of you. fetch me two of those delightful little taquitos, {turning to look at my gf, who is facing the wrong way} and mayhaps a lone buffalo wing for the lady {realizing I am actively pissing my pants} posthaste, gentle man,</p>
— my life is a living hell. every minute is torture (@on_da_spectrum) <a href="https://twitter.com/on_da_spectrum/status/1439791008795947008?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 20, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Y'all remember the early days of Covid when you had to disinfect your groceries and shower with your delivery driver to make sure everything was cool</p>
— Yassir Lester (@yassir_lester) <a href="https://twitter.com/yassir_lester/status/1439720151939747840?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 19, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">lil bro pulled up to his whole crib missing <a href="https://t.co/4RMkOZkFRc">pic.twitter.com/4RMkOZkFRc</a></p>
— Flexy 𖤐 (@UziFlexy) <a href="https://twitter.com/UziFlexy/status/1439572465529806854?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 19, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">super freaked out by seagulls since I learned they can live into their thirties. Looking at every seagull like I wonder if they remember the 90s</p>
— 🖕🤠🖕 (@wank_666) <a href="https://twitter.com/wank_666/status/1439623075776040970?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 19, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Unbelievable. Landlord just unlocked &amp; opened my front door &amp; walked right in without advanced notification complaining about the smell &amp; when i yelled at them to leave i realized they couldn't hear me &amp; that I've been dead for quite some time😤</p>
— Justin🦩Boldaji بلداجي (@justinboldaji) <a href="https://twitter.com/justinboldaji/status/1439661760609357824?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 19, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Preschool teacher that gives out these stickers instead of gold stars <a href="https://t.co/gjO0Y2r5sg">pic.twitter.com/gjO0Y2r5sg</a></p>
— zendaya is luigi (@_casketcase) <a href="https://twitter.com/_casketcase/status/1439509790976249856?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 19, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">This might be the best Freddy costume of all time. <a href="https://t.co/WPvAnHSCTC">pic.twitter.com/WPvAnHSCTC</a></p>
— I am being blob (@juda1313) <a href="https://twitter.com/juda1313/status/1439811488152268800?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 20, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">WHAT'S IN THE BOX?! <a href="https://t.co/lUfpNY8Ihz">pic.twitter.com/lUfpNY8Ihz</a></p>
— Dustin Growick 🦖 (@DustinGrowick) <a href="https://twitter.com/DustinGrowick/status/1439636688565948423?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 19, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>September 20</strong><br>
&nbsp;
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Hey Walmart? I have a very important question to ask… <a href="https://t.co/4urxJ5FXUk">pic.twitter.com/4urxJ5FXUk</a></p>
— Joseph Wade (@cordialwombat) <a href="https://twitter.com/cordialwombat/status/1440109171525967873?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">TAKING A SHIT IN MY SKOILET RIGHT NOW💀🖕 <a href="https://t.co/37rOgCxnGo">pic.twitter.com/37rOgCxnGo</a></p>
— ☠️OFFICIAL SKULLERHOOD☠️ (@skullerhood) <a href="https://twitter.com/skullerhood/status/1440009396705169411?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 20, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">The purpose of twitter is to gain enough followers that you can post something like "eating a burger" and have 40 people reply saying hell yea</p>
— Finessa Fudges (@FinessaFudges) <a href="https://twitter.com/FinessaFudges/status/1439989621253881870?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 20, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Oh damn. I thought the ultra sweet chocolate nut spread was healthy <a href="https://t.co/XMrBpnA596">https://t.co/XMrBpnA596</a></p>
— Brooks Otterlake (@i_zzzzzz) <a href="https://twitter.com/i_zzzzzz/status/1440053089822601216?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 20, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I will straight up discover shit while using a Mastercard and master shit while using a Discover Card 'cause I'm a bad boy and I don't play by the rules and whatnot.</p>
— George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) <a href="https://twitter.com/MrGeorgeWallace/status/1440175969621274630?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">A romcom for the times. <a href="https://t.co/59k0qWy7ql">pic.twitter.com/59k0qWy7ql</a></p>
— Christiaan Van Vuuren (@ChristiaanVanV) <a href="https://twitter.com/ChristiaanVanV/status/1440083074897772552?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 20, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Fun fact: This moment wasn't scripted. A child just wandered on set and Jesse Plemmons shot him in the chest unprompted. Now THAT'S improv! <a href="https://t.co/I0BNr6XP7k">pic.twitter.com/I0BNr6XP7k</a></p>
— very tall bart (@TallBart) <a href="https://twitter.com/TallBart/status/1439994920094236677?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 20, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>September 21</strong><br>
&nbsp;
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Why did they write his first name like this <a href="https://t.co/Rii5qt5dtY">https://t.co/Rii5qt5dtY</a></p>
— Mohanad Elshieky (@MohanadElshieky) <a href="https://twitter.com/MohanadElshieky/status/1440310812011221000?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Why is it called the mayo clinic lol. Look at me im going to the ketchup hospital! Give me a break</p>
— KILLER MEG (Interdimensional entity) (@horse_feedbag) <a href="https://twitter.com/horse_feedbag/status/1440495800451166214?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Yeah you could say our school district is underfunded <a href="https://t.co/7eT4uU9zOj">pic.twitter.com/7eT4uU9zOj</a></p>
— 𝖕𝖕 (@ProfoundPilled) <a href="https://twitter.com/ProfoundPilled/status/1440445275126976515?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Snoring is so messed up like someone is basically having trouble breathing and instead of helping them you'll be like FUCK YOU</p>
— Mariya Alexander (@MariyaAlexander) <a href="https://twitter.com/MariyaAlexander/status/1440203121758650369?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">alive? you may be entitled to compensation</p>
— taming fred savage (@FredTaming) <a href="https://twitter.com/FredTaming/status/1440312357100539907?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/FRHZXzd9xe">https://t.co/FRHZXzd9xe</a> • <a href="https://t.co/ztznLId5fl">https://t.co/ztznLId5fl</a> <a href="https://t.co/z2d4Mv6szm">pic.twitter.com/z2d4Mv6szm</a></p>
— demi adejuyigbe (@electrolemon) <a href="https://twitter.com/electrolemon/status/1440351969063829514?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>September 22</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">i'm in love with her <a href="https://t.co/3D245iGCZx">pic.twitter.com/3D245iGCZx</a></p>
— iron dome chomsky (blonde era) (@kielbasagarage) <a href="https://twitter.com/kielbasagarage/status/1440910560204234754?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">How does the Starbucks at Target have no Oatmilk……. Do u want me to go grab it from aisle C13????</p>
— 🦋🦋🦋 (@_xtjg) <a href="https://twitter.com/_xtjg/status/1440774536245354496?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">ESPN looks too much like the real news. I looked up at a TV in a bar and saw two guys in suits with a graphic that said "HOW DANGEROUS ARE THE CARDINALS" Thought there was a Hitchcock-level emergency.</p>
— Brad Wenzel (@BradWenzel) <a href="https://twitter.com/BradWenzel/status/1440694854384640003?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">being unemployed is like "hey, what if doing whatever you want all day was somehow stressful???"</p>
— Robert Schultz (@_RobertSchultz) <a href="https://twitter.com/_RobertSchultz/status/1440773372355301397?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I can't stop laughing at the fact that every single suggestion sounds 100% more passive aggressive than its original phrase <a href="https://t.co/c6cJnKAG1c">https://t.co/c6cJnKAG1c</a></p>
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) <a href="https://twitter.com/MikeDrucker/status/1440789273842642944?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Instead of "sorry for the delay," write "thank you for your patience." In lieu of "apologies for the oversight," write "if you're so perfect why don't you fucken do it."</p>
— Patches (@mostly_cheese) <a href="https://twitter.com/mostly_cheese/status/1440844072147578885?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>September 23</strong><br>
&nbsp;
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">What about mandatory vaccines at school for diphtheria, tetanus, polio, measles, mumps, and rubella? I remember taking those when I was a kid but don't remember anyone protesting outside my school in a Looney Tunes basketball jersey</p>
— Chris Locke (@chrislockeworld) <a href="https://twitter.com/chrislockeworld/status/1441009503525384194?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/7sOxpuSh8Z">pic.twitter.com/7sOxpuSh8Z</a></p>
— carter hambley (@carterhambley) <a href="https://twitter.com/carterhambley/status/1441172638366199814?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Looks like the masks are working <a href="https://t.co/6lgNgjRpBv">pic.twitter.com/6lgNgjRpBv</a></p>
— accidentally based (@BasedByAccident) <a href="https://twitter.com/BasedByAccident/status/1441113025008705548?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">chris pratt is playing mario <a href="https://t.co/KiWVoVkY5z">pic.twitter.com/KiWVoVkY5z</a></p>
— Vincent Martella (@VinMan17) <a href="https://twitter.com/VinMan17/status/1441169270335885316?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2021</a></blockquote>
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Vish Khanna

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: September 24, 2021

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