To Charles Manson (not that one), the grace of a swan, sometimes the audience is wrong, Norm Macdonald was the funniest man who ever lived, and much more from this week in funny tweets.<br>
<br>
<strong>September 10</strong><br>
&nbsp;
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I protect you from the United States, not from France. <a href="https://t.co/k98vUmF72E">pic.twitter.com/k98vUmF72E</a></p>
— The First Amendment (@USConst_Amend_I) <a href="https://twitter.com/USConst_Amend_I/status/1436504859931340807?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 11, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="ht" dir="ltr">lol lmao <a href="https://t.co/Ywm90rA0bc">pic.twitter.com/Ywm90rA0bc</a></p>
— Rob DenBleyker (@RobDenBleyker) <a href="https://twitter.com/RobDenBleyker/status/1436434141113950253?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 10, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">My 8 year old doesn't want to be cast as Zazu in his 'Lion King' school play cuz he recently played Iago in 'Aladdin' and fears being typecast as birds.</p>
— Bryan Cogman (@cogman_bryan) <a href="https://twitter.com/cogman_bryan/status/1436330355640782849?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 10, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">A bot wrote this obituary and I'm losing my mind <a href="https://t.co/S9aJg3rmBC">pic.twitter.com/S9aJg3rmBC</a></p>
— Ranibow Sprimkle ™️ (@Muffin_Chips) <a href="https://twitter.com/Muffin_Chips/status/1436332957728485377?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 10, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Art of the deal. <a href="https://t.co/CgtNbjWA3k">pic.twitter.com/CgtNbjWA3k</a></p>
— Boots, 'with the fur' (@afraidofwasps) <a href="https://twitter.com/afraidofwasps/status/1436523110480715776?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 11, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">100% serious when I say the Onion's 9/11 coverage deserved a Pulitzer <a href="https://t.co/s8RPvLsEYc">pic.twitter.com/s8RPvLsEYc</a></p>
— Adam Fleming Petty (@flamingpetty) <a href="https://twitter.com/flamingpetty/status/1436451713603575834?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 10, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Happy anniversary to the absolute best 9/11 tweet of all time <a href="https://t.co/sqGjXYpVz6">pic.twitter.com/sqGjXYpVz6</a></p>
— Guy Freire (@guy_freire) <a href="https://twitter.com/guy_freire/status/1436541092137144321?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 11, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>September 11</strong><br>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">you'd think Doc Brown would have mentioned 9/11 at some point</p>
— blaine capatch (@blainecapatch) <a href="https://twitter.com/blainecapatch/status/1436839614849830912?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 11, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Thinking about how a girl at Christian summer camp asked me if my dad was in Al Qaeda and I got in trouble for asking if her dad was a Klansman bc "her question was understandable"</p>
— Kat Abu (@abughazalehkat) <a href="https://twitter.com/abughazalehkat/status/1436749583158239237?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 11, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">don't forget to leave milk and cookies out for george bush tonight</p>
— Andrea More (@amore_orless) <a href="https://twitter.com/amore_orless/status/1436573805971795968?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 11, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Hunter S. Thompson wrote this one week after 9/11, basically called what the 21st Century would become <a href="https://t.co/jtLcRCZpmb">pic.twitter.com/jtLcRCZpmb</a></p>
— John Frankensteiner (@JFrankensteiner) <a href="https://twitter.com/JFrankensteiner/status/1436794568939347969?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 11, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Top 5 Worst Musical Car Foods:<br>
<br>
5. Mustang Salad<br>
4. Pulling Mussels From the Chevelle<br>
3. Little Bread Corvette<br>
2. Pink Cadillactaid<br>
1. Van S'Morrison</p>
— Dave Merritt (@GoldenSeals) <a href="https://twitter.com/GoldenSeals/status/1436698680954953733?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 11, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>September 12</strong><br>
&nbsp;
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/5Tgs5je58S">pic.twitter.com/5Tgs5je58S</a></p>
— 80s News Screens (@80snewsscreens) <a href="https://twitter.com/80snewsscreens/status/1437099945165836290?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 12, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">HR is not your friend. HR is the police.</p>
— the dems made me put marbles up my ass (@writerbxtch) <a href="https://twitter.com/writerbxtch/status/1437168659475025922?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 12, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Your early twenties are all about making some of the worst stir fry imaginable</p>
— Thomas🐉 (@len0killer) <a href="https://twitter.com/len0killer/status/1437562557062164485?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 13, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>September 13</strong><br>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">After a long day of protesting in front of the hospital, I like to get home, put my feet up and unwind by passing away of COVID-19.</p>
— Michael A. Balazo (@mbalazo) <a href="https://twitter.com/mbalazo/status/1437550692315586562?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 13, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">they asked me if I would take their pic and <a href="https://t.co/n1GeyMj8oh">pic.twitter.com/n1GeyMj8oh</a></p>
— Niccole Thurman (@niccolethurman) <a href="https://twitter.com/niccolethurman/status/1437615679772020740?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 14, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">too much hate for "theater kid energy" and not enough hate for "school newspaper kid energy"</p>
— trash jones (@jzux) <a href="https://twitter.com/jzux/status/1437432208189493254?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 13, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">guys I did it, I really did it. I made it through a paid whole work day without doing a fucking thing. no emails were received. no colleagues were spoken to. literally not an ounce of work. miraculous</p>
— anxi-ettie (@anxi_ettie) <a href="https://twitter.com/anxi_ettie/status/1437403342288965634?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 13, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Women: I have a stalker, he threatened to kill me.<br>
<br>
Police: Cool, can you call us when he actually does that?</p>
— Carmen Lagala (@CarmenLagala) <a href="https://twitter.com/CarmenLagala/status/1437472175901003776?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 13, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">"so let me get this straight, wait, I'm the rookie?" - the vaccine</p>
— Desus Nice (@desusnice) <a href="https://twitter.com/desusnice/status/1437535128704667649?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 13, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I would pay to watch footage of someone doing their "own research" on vaccines. Share your screen because I am absolutely dying to know what you're looking at</p>
— Jenée (@jdesmondharris) <a href="https://twitter.com/jdesmondharris/status/1437538520923443203?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 13, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>September 14</strong><br>
&nbsp;
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">"He died doing what he loved: his own research"</p>
— Jessie Gaskell (@jessiestwats) <a href="https://twitter.com/jessiestwats/status/1437831981757198336?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 14, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Goddammit. Norm Macdonald was the funniest person who ever lived.</p>
— pixelatedboat aka "mr tweets" (@pixelatedboat) <a href="https://twitter.com/pixelatedboat/status/1437881144842674177?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 14, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Just a reminder that Norm Macdonald wrote the best book dedication of all time <a href="https://t.co/JwdtoV8UcK">pic.twitter.com/JwdtoV8UcK</a></p>
— Sofiya Alexandra (@TheSofiya) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheSofiya/status/1437856192756281345?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 14, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Once I saw Norm Macdonald in Toronto and he kept doing jokes about death. Someone yelled "No more morbid stuff!" And Norm said, "Maybe I should do... more morbid stuff!" And then he did maybe 15 minutes about how he would hang himself. "First I'd go to the rickety stool store..."</p>
— Will Sloan (@WillSloanEsq) <a href="https://twitter.com/WillSloanEsq/status/1437855517175656454?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 14, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">norm was the first to teach me that sometimes the audience is wrong</p>
— Casey Boyd (@caseybboyd) <a href="https://twitter.com/caseybboyd/status/1437860056519696386?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 14, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Norm Macdonald's appearance at the Roast of Bob Saget was unlike anything ever seen before. Watch this legendary clip with additional footage. <a href="https://t.co/nb6JECXn4H">pic.twitter.com/nb6JECXn4H</a></p>
— comedycentral (@ComedyCentral) <a href="https://twitter.com/ComedyCentral/status/1437883977696751625?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 14, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">After Norm McDonald was fired from SNL for making too many OJ jokes (by the head of NBC - OJ's friend) he was asked back to host and this was his monologue. 🤣<a href="https://t.co/uKnzfgwE66">https://t.co/uKnzfgwE66</a></p>
— JEN KIRKMAN in BROOKLYN DEC 1-4 at UNION HALL (@JenKirkman) <a href="https://twitter.com/JenKirkman/status/1437858114456330242?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 14, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">To honor Norm's memory, Saturday Night Live should be canceled.</p>
— Ken Layne (@KenLayne) <a href="https://twitter.com/KenLayne/status/1437871369128058882?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 14, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Norm Macdonald's most underrated bit was live tweeting sports everyday for 12 years on here for dozens of likes</p>
— White Assad (@RacismFactory) <a href="https://twitter.com/RacismFactory/status/1437857171560095750?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 14, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>September 15</strong><br>
&nbsp;
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I want to go back in time and show this headline to my 2019 self just for kicks. <a href="https://t.co/UdLXCEy2bW">pic.twitter.com/UdLXCEy2bW</a></p>
— GET VACCINATED (((Jennifer Mendelsohn))) (@CleverTitleTK) <a href="https://twitter.com/CleverTitleTK/status/1438197550323060736?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 15, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">y'all be scared to double text lmaoo not me ding ding tis i again</p>
— ӠӠӠ (@idkthreat) <a href="https://twitter.com/idkthreat/status/1437948281884233731?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 15, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Please stop saying the vaccine doesn't have severe side effects. I took my shots and now I'm alive and have to keep working</p>
— Mohanad Elshieky (@MohanadElshieky) <a href="https://twitter.com/MohanadElshieky/status/1438258815892402179?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 15, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">every time I go on my phone it is one of the worst experiences of my life</p>
— john-john (@bennnnst) <a href="https://twitter.com/bennnnst/status/1438244889591001093?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 15, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>September 16</strong><br>
&nbsp;
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Not iPhone doing confetti as I'm fired <a href="https://t.co/5ZMOUfg6M7">pic.twitter.com/5ZMOUfg6M7</a></p>
— MIAMI BAHE (@brian_bahe) <a href="https://twitter.com/brian_bahe/status/1438555178056179714?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 16, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">About to have the craziest weekend of my life… <a href="https://t.co/nEQCrZRvzp">pic.twitter.com/nEQCrZRvzp</a></p>
— Nick Nemeroff (@nicknemeroff) <a href="https://twitter.com/nicknemeroff/status/1438536202903343115?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 16, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">an unvaccinated person died (crowd cheers) but they were unvaccinated because of their disability (crowd boos) but they were a republican voter (crowd cheers) but they were a mother (crowd boos) to a future school shooter (mixed reaction from crowd)</p>
— DIESEL ⛽️ (@ThinDieselle) <a href="https://twitter.com/ThinDieselle/status/1438558880833867783?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 16, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Subtweeting irl would be hilarious. Someone walks into the party wearing an outfit I don't like and I stand up and announce to the whole room that "a lot of ppl think that boot cut jeans are acceptable but they're not"</p>
— polly pocket monster energy (@no_goblins) <a href="https://twitter.com/no_goblins/status/1438530650437521409?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 16, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">A Jackie Chan fight scene where he's in an Ikea warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he's accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set</p>
— smooth poser ☢️🐬 (@smoothposer) <a href="https://twitter.com/smoothposer/status/1438630615025389571?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 16, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Gonna tell my kids this was Rick and Morty <a href="https://t.co/k1ETSBSZL0">pic.twitter.com/k1ETSBSZL0</a></p>
— Shang-B (@bryanyang) <a href="https://twitter.com/bryanyang/status/1438341181742764037?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 16, 2021</a></blockquote>
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Vish Khanna

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: September 17, 2021

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