High lobster prices, porn that entices, some unhealthy vices, really enjoy your devices, and much more from this week in funny tweets.<br>
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<strong>September 3</strong>
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<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/K34SLlMiOe">pic.twitter.com/K34SLlMiOe</a></p>
— Bjenny Montero (@bjennymontero) <a href="https://twitter.com/bjennymontero/status/1433829074217029638?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 3, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Now there's a dedication for you <a href="https://t.co/GzlGliLrbK">pic.twitter.com/GzlGliLrbK</a></p>
— David Hering (@hering_david) <a href="https://twitter.com/hering_david/status/1433678752932933639?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 3, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">The Sept 9, 2001 issue of the New York Times. America was ready to kick back and laugh themselves silly that October. <a href="https://t.co/kod7jYnBtr">pic.twitter.com/kod7jYnBtr</a></p>
— MKupperman (@MKupperman) <a href="https://twitter.com/MKupperman/status/1433977522329464838?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 4, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">brother i must brother you<br>
STOP YOU CANT STOP ME <a href="https://t.co/PG0XOdzomx">pic.twitter.com/PG0XOdzomx</a></p>
— Michael Kurylo (@BunnyFuFuu) <a href="https://twitter.com/BunnyFuFuu/status/1433880956356599814?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 3, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>September 4</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">If PRETTY WOMAN starred Willem Dafoe instead. Good God. <a href="https://t.co/GdieGzSKuX">pic.twitter.com/GdieGzSKuX</a></p>
— SPENCE, TODD (@Todd_Spence) <a href="https://twitter.com/Todd_Spence/status/1434313457881391109?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 5, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">i hate porn with no narrative. i need to know why you guys are having sex.</p>
— MONTERO 🦋 (@LilNasX) <a href="https://twitter.com/LilNasX/status/1434358223524401157?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 5, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Ok my shit posting has gone too far <a href="https://t.co/9cOm9I4vUO">pic.twitter.com/9cOm9I4vUO</a></p>
— abby govindan (@abbygov) <a href="https://twitter.com/abbygov/status/1434354558998810626?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 5, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">there has never been a better use of this meme <a href="https://t.co/S1gjbuSye6">pic.twitter.com/S1gjbuSye6</a></p>
— shauna (@goldengateblond) <a href="https://twitter.com/goldengateblond/status/1434270450960404482?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 4, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>September 5</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">men flirt by liking a selfie u posted 5 months ago</p>
— pizzarina sbarro (@tillamundo) <a href="https://twitter.com/tillamundo/status/1434549490422362115?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 5, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">can anyone figure out why this might not be healthy? anyone? <a href="https://t.co/zYTY7CRjLi">pic.twitter.com/zYTY7CRjLi</a></p>
— Berry 🖤🍓🍰 (@bloodberry_tart) <a href="https://twitter.com/bloodberry_tart/status/1434533835837001738?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 5, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">"Covid only kills a very small quantity of children!" Ok, but I have a very small quantity of children?</p>
— Ashley S. Weitz (@AshleySWeitz) <a href="https://twitter.com/AshleySWeitz/status/1434581862110797827?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 5, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">"wHaT's thAt taTtOo gONna looK liKE wHEn ur oLd" have u seen what old ppl look like normally? im not worried about it</p>
— first-mate prance (@bocxtop) <a href="https://twitter.com/bocxtop/status/1434707404747251715?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 6, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>September 6</strong>

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<p lang="tl" dir="ltr">ME: *telling a joke*<br>
SARA: haha<br>
SARAH: hahah</p>
— Dave Cactus (@dave_cactus) <a href="https://twitter.com/dave_cactus/status/1434860405168300038?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 6, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Mulder &amp; Scully wearing JNCOs <a href="https://t.co/20zLaKn8lA">pic.twitter.com/20zLaKn8lA</a></p>
— Acid House Hospital (@darkmusick_) <a href="https://twitter.com/darkmusick_/status/1434903810028179467?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 6, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I saw somebody say that Joel Osteen looks like Martin Short pretending to be Tim Allen and I can't unsee it now, it's the most accurate statement ever uttered. <a href="https://t.co/0dIvhjzQRS">pic.twitter.com/0dIvhjzQRS</a></p>
— Garrett McClintock (@GJMcClintock) <a href="https://twitter.com/GJMcClintock/status/1435116227114901507?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 7, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/7MZITNsjl9">pic.twitter.com/7MZITNsjl9</a></p>
— Conservative Self-Owns (@ConSelfOwns) <a href="https://twitter.com/ConSelfOwns/status/1435043251506094080?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 7, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">boycotting places that require proof of vaccine? it's not boycotting if you're not allowed in.😭😭😭</p>
— plain jane (@training_d4d) <a href="https://twitter.com/training_d4d/status/1435015661055528961?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 6, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>September 7</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">LMFAOOOO BRO IM DYING 😭😭 <a href="https://t.co/3T71WvJfPu">pic.twitter.com/3T71WvJfPu</a></p>
— negar (@negarsadat_) <a href="https://twitter.com/negarsadat_/status/1435395486077227009?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 8, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Oasis is British Hootie and the Blowfish. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/opinions?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#opinions</a></p>
— Jonny (@jondaly) <a href="https://twitter.com/jondaly/status/1435320930322894849?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 7, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Oh my fucking god this is great <a href="https://t.co/BVkSyXkpZp">pic.twitter.com/BVkSyXkpZp</a></p>
— tammy golden (@tammygolden) <a href="https://twitter.com/tammygolden/status/1435365117500149760?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 7, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">World class city, baby!!! <a href="https://t.co/AuW3y8gmXX">pic.twitter.com/AuW3y8gmXX</a></p>
— Michael A. Balazo (@mbalazo) <a href="https://twitter.com/mbalazo/status/1435356766380900355?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 7, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>September 8</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">hope my kids funny bc im not fake laughing in my own house</p>
— 𖤐 (@sixshottss) <a href="https://twitter.com/sixshottss/status/1435484668980183041?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 8, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I can't believe quitting weed, cigarettes, and exercising again made me feel better. Have there been studies done on this?</p>
— Kid Diabeetus (@KidDiabeetus) <a href="https://twitter.com/KidDiabeetus/status/1435798586101575684?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 9, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">title of my senior honors thesis <a href="https://t.co/TKt5gq1WD8">pic.twitter.com/TKt5gq1WD8</a></p>
— NurseBrianRN (@rn_murse) <a href="https://twitter.com/rn_murse/status/1435615872274550792?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 8, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>September 9</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">THE MATRIX (1999) <a href="https://t.co/zmU5XIFu7G">pic.twitter.com/zmU5XIFu7G</a></p>
— Seinfeld Current Day (@Seinfeld2000) <a href="https://twitter.com/Seinfeld2000/status/1435976974392979470?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 9, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">You only live once - you should try to spend as much time on the computer as possible. After you die, you won't have access to it any more</p>
— Boots, 'with the fur' (@afraidofwasps) <a href="https://twitter.com/afraidofwasps/status/1436082368264216576?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 9, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">If your milk hotel is neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the milk hotel of the oppressor.</p>
— jasmine don 🍓 (@jasminevdon) <a href="https://twitter.com/jasminevdon/status/1436065099836379154?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 9, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">BREAKING: Country that can build, maintain mines in most remote regions says providing clean drinking water for First Nations 'complex'</p>
— Walking Eagle News (@TheEagleist) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheEagleist/status/1435972740356493324?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 9, 2021</a></blockquote>
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Vish Khanna

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: September 10, 2021

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