The president's Operation, parental tablet frustration, Spiderman multiplication, NBC ratings desperation, and much more from this week in funny tweets.&nbsp;<br>
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<strong>October 9</strong>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Just overheard a very sad inner monologue from a man in the grocery store, standing in front of the ice cream section, who asked himself aloud "do I want ice cream? .... *pause* .. do I deserve ice cream ? No."</p>
— Tess Owen (@misstessowen) <a href="https://twitter.com/misstessowen/status/1314671554312040448?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 9, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">"Third World" refugee here. I have a PhD in English and I won a Pulitzer Prize in Fiction. What have you done? <a href="https://twitter.com/LaurenWitzkeDE?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@LaurenWitzkeDE</a> <a href="https://t.co/QLS8pRToKq">https://t.co/QLS8pRToKq</a></p>
— viet thanh nguyen (@viet_t_nguyen) <a href="https://twitter.com/viet_t_nguyen/status/1314774687344291841?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 10, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">very naive of me to not have realized until recently that almost everybody on this stage is on cocaine <a href="https://t.co/TMZVsoY41K">pic.twitter.com/TMZVsoY41K</a></p>
— LB™️ "𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘧𝘧" 🛢 (@LydiaBurrell) <a href="https://twitter.com/LydiaBurrell/status/1314781726414196737?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 10, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Dolly Parton has been married for 54 years and I have never seen her husband not one time 😂 goals?</p>
— Fawn Moscato (@tinnkky) <a href="https://twitter.com/tinnkky/status/1314607538760015879?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 9, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">And we go live to the Fox News on-air medical examination of President Trump: <a href="https://t.co/5XsDkH9jky">pic.twitter.com/5XsDkH9jky</a></p>
— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) <a href="https://twitter.com/StephenAtHome/status/1314747226216833025?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 10, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<strong>October 10</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">what the hell is wrong with the kids in my neighborhood <a href="https://t.co/gyDHrItgkm">pic.twitter.com/gyDHrItgkm</a></p>
— carter hambley (@carterhambley) <a href="https://twitter.com/carterhambley/status/1315057768987009032?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 10, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Of course white people steal lingo, we tried to come up with some on our own and landed on awesomesauce</p>
— Maggie? Winters? (@saggiesplinters) <a href="https://twitter.com/saggiesplinters/status/1314947124367425536?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 10, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Parents in Parents in<br>
2020 B.C. 2020 A.D.<br>
🤝<br>
These kids and their<br>
damn tablets</p>
— poltergregst (@WeedlordKrillin) <a href="https://twitter.com/WeedlordKrillin/status/1314915192392867840?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 10, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<strong>October 11</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I finally get the "Sleepy Joe" meaning. We elect Biden. We get some sleep. 👍🏻</p>
— Thalia (@Tfort9) <a href="https://twitter.com/Tfort9/status/1315346312670392325?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 11, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I am fine with Bill Burr's monologue it's his actions as attorney general that have me worried</p>
— kevin o'shea (@OSheaComputer) <a href="https://twitter.com/OSheaComputer/status/1315375637582946304?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 11, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Video Game Idea: it is 1988 and you have to bathe all of the Traveling Wilburys.</p>
— Michael A. Balazo (@mbalazo) <a href="https://twitter.com/mbalazo/status/1315444582214139910?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 12, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<strong>October 12</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Someone needs to ask Amy Coney Barrett how she feels about the fact that donated fetal tissue from an abortion saved Trump's life.</p>
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) <a href="https://twitter.com/OhNoSheTwitnt/status/1315593048861147142?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 12, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Me getting in trouble for being too fancy <a href="https://t.co/UHVwFP19HX">pic.twitter.com/UHVwFP19HX</a></p>
— Haunted Chris Locke House (@chrislockeworld) <a href="https://twitter.com/chrislockeworld/status/1315649671965159424?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 12, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">A thread <a href="https://t.co/mzZ4yRjISR">https://t.co/mzZ4yRjISR</a></p>
— Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins) <a href="https://twitter.com/PFTompkins/status/1315557416302305281?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 12, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<strong>October 13</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">still one of my favorite jokes of all time <a href="https://t.co/NQs8b7SUpy">pic.twitter.com/NQs8b7SUpy</a></p>
— Will Martin (@mrwillmartin) <a href="https://twitter.com/mrwillmartin/status/1316105151736766464?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 13, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Movie titles should be more descriptive, I don't want any surprises <a href="https://t.co/W7VIMj7qbb">pic.twitter.com/W7VIMj7qbb</a></p>
— Joe McAdam (@joemcadam) <a href="https://twitter.com/joemcadam/status/1316048529681313798?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 13, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Look just tell me if the pandemic will go on so long that I'll finally have to watch "Schitt's Creek"</p>
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) <a href="https://twitter.com/KenJennings/status/1316082962991964160?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 13, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<strong>October 14</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">there will never be a better opportunity to use this image <a href="https://t.co/nyAeyVCmEI">pic.twitter.com/nyAeyVCmEI</a></p>
— 🎃👻 Brian 👻🎃 (@SortaBad) <a href="https://twitter.com/SortaBad/status/1316577533215731712?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 15, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">There was never any lockdown. There was just middle-class people hiding while working-class people brought them things.</p>
— JJ Charlesworth (@jjcharlesworth_) <a href="https://twitter.com/jjcharlesworth_/status/1316418588207648774?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 14, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">podcast called "too many guys" and its just 12 guys trying to talk at the same time</p>
— boss (@boss_on_here) <a href="https://twitter.com/boss_on_here/status/1316537868584714241?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 15, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">my plastic vampire fangs thay ON during thex</p>
— Rachel (@femaleredhead) <a href="https://twitter.com/femaleredhead/status/1316533324949708800?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 15, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<strong>October 15</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">guns n' roses only criteria for calling a place "paradise:"<br>
1) women are attractive<br>
2) grass normal color</p>
— nate of the living dead (@MNateShyamalan) <a href="https://twitter.com/MNateShyamalan/status/1316745039884713990?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 15, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">When your costume is on point but your mom makes you wear a jacket <a href="https://t.co/zxXDVWcnDT">pic.twitter.com/zxXDVWcnDT</a></p>
— Adam (@adamgreattweet) <a href="https://twitter.com/adamgreattweet/status/1316729220555472903?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 15, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">The only good thing about these two competing town hall events is that they show how much Biden is held to a different standard as an actual rational human being while Trump just has to get through an hour without lighting a bucket of mice on fire</p>
— Tom Nichols (@RadioFreeTom) <a href="https://twitter.com/RadioFreeTom/status/1316909945980358659?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 16, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I can't remember the last time I was this shocked by an NBC programming decision.</p>
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) <a href="https://twitter.com/ConanOBrien/status/1316778678290984960?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 15, 2020</a></blockquote>
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Vish Khanna

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: October 16, 2020

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