The President is almost gone, achieving the Sufjan, what is Jr. on, Paul Reiser is unfamiliar with Theon, and much more from this week in funny tweets.<br>
<br>
<strong>October 30</strong>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Between Brett Favre and Eric Bolling, Trump has the unwanted dick pic vote locked.</p>
— JeremyNewberger (@jeremynewberger) <a href="https://twitter.com/jeremynewberger/status/1322176453686026240?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 30, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Oh yeah, that's some mediocre coke. <a href="https://t.co/MhZHSnXtbz">https://t.co/MhZHSnXtbz</a></p>
— I Have Become Pennsylvania (@TonyAtamanuik) <a href="https://twitter.com/TonyAtamanuik/status/1322065436972851200?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 30, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">This morning I saw my cat out in the yard hunched over something, yowling his head off and I went out and saw he had this thing cornered and I couldn't quite tell what it had been so I called animal control and they came over and trapped it in this big like bucket type thing 1/</p>
— Wendy Molyneux (@WendyMolyneux) <a href="https://twitter.com/WendyMolyneux/status/1322416904477159424?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 31, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<strong>October 31</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">he wears a mask <a href="https://t.co/hy7UAMYF4Z">https://t.co/hy7UAMYF4Z</a></p>
— Matt Oswalt (@MattOswaltVA) <a href="https://twitter.com/MattOswaltVA/status/1322774479215288321?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 1, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Here it is. The definitive list of Trump's 100 Most Tremendous Scandals. <a href="https://t.co/6XTOIaInGs">pic.twitter.com/6XTOIaInGs</a></p>
— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheDailyShow/status/1322327675948576768?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 31, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/dEFzYGFoLc">https://t.co/dEFzYGFoLc</a> <a href="https://t.co/EMvgadzmh8">pic.twitter.com/EMvgadzmh8</a></p>
— billy eichner (@billyeichner) <a href="https://twitter.com/billyeichner/status/1322612805460131841?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 31, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Imagine dying because you wanted to hear once last rant about Hillary's emails.</p>
— Schooley (@Rschooley) <a href="https://twitter.com/Rschooley/status/1322622620571897856?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 31, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<strong>November 1</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Noah's wife: the ark is falling apart<br>
<br>
Noah: glue might work, I have an idea<br>
<br>
Horse: it's weird he brought 3 of us</p>
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) <a href="https://twitter.com/ArfMeasures/status/1323009394225893388?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 1, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/GCDgieAkpo">pic.twitter.com/GCDgieAkpo</a></p>
— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) <a href="https://twitter.com/ditzkoff/status/1323074058804756481?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 2, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">A Trump rally is the perfect place to shop for the children in your life. <a href="https://t.co/rqdek5byv5">pic.twitter.com/rqdek5byv5</a></p>
— The Good Liars (@TheGoodLiars) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheGoodLiars/status/1322968835872477187?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 1, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<strong>November 2</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Ultimate election result: "The Sufjan" <a href="https://t.co/ZjLjPJ7A6r">pic.twitter.com/ZjLjPJ7A6r</a></p>
— pixelatedboat aka "mr tweets" (@pixelatedboat) <a href="https://twitter.com/pixelatedboat/status/1323414767822761984?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 3, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">If Biden doesn't win, 538 had better be a Spirit Halloween next year.</p>
— Daniel Kibblesmith (@kibblesmith) <a href="https://twitter.com/kibblesmith/status/1323502507449081858?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 3, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Not going to live-check anything else from Trump's ongoing Michigan rally, but just want to let you know he still has not been named Michigan's Man of the Year.</p>
— Daniel Dale (@ddale8) <a href="https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/1323403991045332992?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 2, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<strong>November 3</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Tonight's the night we see if hockey legend Bobby Orr still holds his once unshakeable influence over American politics.</p>
— Michael A. Balazo (@mbalazo) <a href="https://twitter.com/mbalazo/status/1323698725726937093?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 3, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">we're all on the same page that the past four years are the Real America not just a fluke right</p>
— giabuchi lastrassi (@jaboukie) <a href="https://twitter.com/jaboukie/status/1323873125696708608?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 4, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I don't get it Biden did everything right. He didn't campaign, he had Alzheimer's, he made the election all about Trump and didn't offer a positive case for himself, he took corporate money, he condemned looting and supported fracking. What happened?</p>
— David Specturkey (@spectordeforce) <a href="https://twitter.com/spectordeforce/status/1323841214186180609?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 4, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">God, I love the first night of Election Week. So festive. We broke out the traditional stress ball garlands and I'm going to carve the Xanax in about 20 minutes.</p>
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) <a href="https://twitter.com/pattonoswalt/status/1323849987093012480?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 4, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">other countries really watching america right now and hoping we get it together like we're bubbles from the wire</p>
— Desus Nice (@desusnice) <a href="https://twitter.com/desusnice/status/1323827042333458432?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 4, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">A party that doesn't win the White House in a landslide after the incumbent killed 230,000 people should engage in some self-reflection, I think</p>
— Kate Aronoff (@KateAronoff) <a href="https://twitter.com/KateAronoff/status/1323813250409107459?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 4, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">This. Is. Amazing. <a href="https://t.co/2Ej2pxxL9W">https://t.co/2Ej2pxxL9W</a></p>
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) <a href="https://twitter.com/JimGaffigan/status/1323662017119588352?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 3, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">if trump loses can no one tweet taunt him please cuz he still has the nuclear codes for 3 more months thanks</p>
— JEN KIRKMAN 👩🏻‍💻 (@JenKirkman) <a href="https://twitter.com/JenKirkman/status/1323646184070639616?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 3, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<strong>November 4</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">startin to think the pod didn't save anything</p>
— jamieloftus 🏂 (@jamieloftusHELP) <a href="https://twitter.com/jamieloftusHELP/status/1324127436993253376?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 4, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">This is Brett Kavanaugh if his parents couldn't afford prep school <a href="https://t.co/zxvAXZ4bvW">pic.twitter.com/zxvAXZ4bvW</a></p>
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheDweck/status/1324170907846324225?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 5, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">CNN the last 24 hours <a href="https://t.co/a0XJO7de0w">pic.twitter.com/a0XJO7de0w</a></p>
— Michael Kosta (@michaelkosta) <a href="https://twitter.com/michaelkosta/status/1324202677979516929?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 5, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Biden could still pull off the historical sweep of every state Steve Miller has been to in Keep On Rockin Me Baby</p>
— Jason Isbell (@JasonIsbell) <a href="https://twitter.com/JasonIsbell/status/1324105627011002370?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 4, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I assume this be for the 230,000 Americans who died of Covid? <a href="https://t.co/34z8jeQxAR">https://t.co/34z8jeQxAR</a></p>
— Matt Oswalt (@MattOswaltVA) <a href="https://twitter.com/MattOswaltVA/status/1324224471713030144?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 5, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Pick a struggle. <a href="https://t.co/bkXJCKQUYc">https://t.co/bkXJCKQUYc</a></p>
— Gabrielle Union (@itsgabrielleu) <a href="https://twitter.com/itsgabrielleu/status/1324202762800820225?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 5, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">BREAKING: Nation anxiously waits to see if man leading by 3.4 MILLION VOTES will become the next President.</p>
— Fifty Shades of Whey (@davenewworld_2) <a href="https://twitter.com/davenewworld_2/status/1324190681062060032?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 5, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Very responsible of the Democrats to rig the election, but not take the Senate or a supermajority in the House</p>
— Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) <a href="https://twitter.com/ZackBornstein/status/1324147984347537411?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 5, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<strong>November 5</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">When all the theatre kids are in the other party <a href="https://t.co/jrUf4ACJjx">https://t.co/jrUf4ACJjx</a></p>
— Jill Twiss (@jilltwiss) <a href="https://twitter.com/jilltwiss/status/1324396869347430402?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 5, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">NEW: I'm told that President Trump can't get his messaging straight on counting the votes because he doesn't understand what "stop the count" means. On a call this morning, an adviser had to explain to him that if they stopped counting votes right now, he would lose the election.</p>
— Olivia Nuzzi (@Olivianuzzi) <a href="https://twitter.com/Olivianuzzi/status/1324505213349335044?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 6, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Let me get this straight, lying liar who consistently has said bigoted things and has a long history of racism (hello birtherism!) lies about doing a thing for Black people that he'll never do because he's a chronic liar and people think he's lying? <a href="https://t.co/fN7MCxFaUn">https://t.co/fN7MCxFaUn</a></p>
— Soledad O'Brien (@soledadobrien) <a href="https://twitter.com/soledadobrien/status/1324440788105912320?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 5, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Didn't want this to get lost today <a href="https://t.co/1bJ8qcA11m">https://t.co/1bJ8qcA11m</a></p>
— Gabe Delahaye (@gabedelahaye) <a href="https://twitter.com/gabedelahaye/status/1324401331038228482?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 5, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Haha that's right, motherfucker! You kill 230,000 people and you get what's coming to you: you barely lose an election</p>
— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) <a href="https://twitter.com/ChaseMit/status/1324402250861539329?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 5, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">When you ask your partner to name all the people they've been with before you and they start answering honestly <a href="https://t.co/n053E3uVLN">https://t.co/n053E3uVLN</a></p>
— Jhanelle (@JhanelleDennis) <a href="https://twitter.com/JhanelleDennis/status/1324398103034810368?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 5, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Dear White House Movers:<br>
Ask for the money up front. <a href="https://t.co/TERrL1yDvL">pic.twitter.com/TERrL1yDvL</a></p>
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) <a href="https://twitter.com/ConanOBrien/status/1324517627234930688?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 6, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">.<a href="https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@realdonaldtrump</a> please DM, we have FRESH evidence from West Philadelphia that a couple of guys are up to no good, starting to make trouble in the neighborhood</p>
— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheDailyShow/status/1324528445712404480?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 6, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">because we know how stupid it fuckin looks lmao <a href="https://t.co/12lmXfV2aq">https://t.co/12lmXfV2aq</a></p>
— chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) <a href="https://twitter.com/chrissyteigen/status/1324440862940561408?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 5, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">The guy the GOP is sending to war in Philly vs. the actual Lt. Governor of Pennsylvania <a href="https://t.co/MuCjLn8cWL">pic.twitter.com/MuCjLn8cWL</a></p>
— Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) <a href="https://twitter.com/ZackBornstein/status/1324464284907106304?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 5, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">HE FELT THE PRESSURE AND TRIED TO DAP ME UP LOL <a href="https://t.co/pcBEVheHt8">pic.twitter.com/pcBEVheHt8</a></p>
— pro bowl mvp (@rynej__) <a href="https://twitter.com/rynej__/status/1324363029794926593?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 5, 2020</a></blockquote>
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Vish Khanna

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: November 6, 2020

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